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This newspaper page contains 25 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Saco Independent
Location
Saco, Montana, United States of America
Date
Dec 05, 1913
Page
3
Mrs. Charles Anspaugh of Noble County Indiana writes that Peruna saved her life after she was run down and miserable. She says she is on the road to recovery and thanks the remedy. Peruna Tablets are available for those who object to liquid medicines and a Free Peruna Lucky Day Almanac for 1914 is offered by druggists.
A wiry nine year old from the south end asks why Oscar has not cut his hair. August, a tall five year old nephew, answers in a frigid Boston tone that the Jakonbur gs do not cut hair until the seventh year.
In a grim exchange a barber asks if the razor hurts and the victim insists it does. The barber then reveals he was testing which razors need honing, not harming the person.
A Farmer Green anecdote describes a ride in his cousin's car as like falling into a deep well, dropping straight ahead. A cartoon caption questions policemen’s exposure to crime, noting criminals face greater risk of becoming saints.
Mrs Faddy, a stickler for order and decor, finds Miss Flitty’s bold bulgarian blouse and Turkish rug display unsettling. The exchange hints at a domestic clash over style and propriety in a home.
A Reflection notes Miss Wilson’s failure to yield a lower berth proves one fact. On a railroad train, if nowhere else, no one cares to be the man higher up.
The exchange humorously notes seven years of calling and Cupid lingering around the old sofa as Ruth jokes about a gray suitor, while Jack remarks on the lengthy courtship.
A boy names his mother inquiring if a seaside week felt like heaven to a neighbor who described the vacation as heavenly. The exchange hints at local beliefs about paradise and leisure.
A brief exchange contrasts the merit of a well rounded sentence with the need for a square deal in diplomacy, highlighting how expression shapes negotiations while substance remains essential.
A retired colonel quips about a doctor warning that whisky shortens life. The doctor swears abstinence will prolong days, and the colonel recalls a 24 hour break six months ago that felt like a long day.
Van Derhoven proudly points to his house atop the first range in Cragville New Jersey as Jobson notes a Sunday visit. Van Derhoven confirms the journey from the station is a brief five minute walk to foothills and then a climb begins.
A risk cover skit shows an agent pitching a scheme offering weekly family payments if an automobilist faces manslaughter charges. The autoist doubts the plan and claims self-management of his car suffices. The exchange highlights dangers of faux inducements in insurance pitches.
A street salesman frets that his old methods fail to draw crowds. Mr. Chuggins advises a simple ruse pretending the automobile is broken to attract onlookers and prompt action.
The passage notes a slow talking baby and an anxious aunt. Four year old Elizabeth asks if the child will grow up English or French, fearing miscommunication if he were French. The tone captures playful family concern over language and identity.
A comic exchange reveals anger and hair tearing as Miss Footlight laments her fury while Miss Limelight quips that the effort required was minimal. The playful banter centers on performance rivals in a theatrical setting.
A pompous traveler jokes about shaking hands with a chief engineer aboard an old ship. Wilks wins a five dollar bet about Dobbs placing his feet on his desk thanks to Dobbs wearing new three dollar silk socks. A quip on pronunciation follows as Jimpson debates ought-to-mobile versus one-to-mobile with Slathere and a judge remarks.
Gladstone reports wheat yields around 80 bushels per acre with high grade grain. Notable outputs include Noah Elgert 61 bu/acre on Portage Plains and multiple farmers ranging from 30 to 61 bushels per acre. Septembers show strong harvests in Marquette Dauphin and Binscarth with no major damage and favorable weather.
Agricultural experts long suspected potions excreted by past crops depress future growth. Alfred D Hall and colleagues at Rothamsted In England report no evidence of a lasting soil toxin after sixty years of a plant growing, undermining the theory.
A Washington Star comic quip presents a boss ordering a whitewash brush and a former henchman defying orders. The gag twists as the boss plans to wield the brush as a weapon while splashing whitewash his own way.
Uses and benefits of Allen's Foot-Ease powder to ease tender aching feet and bunions. Ad promotes buying powder sold everywhere with a trial package offer and address in Olmsted, Lolloy, New York.
A light exchange recalls a minister visiting for dinner ending with a simple meal. The speaker notes no sermon occurred and instead a casual supper of fried chicken was shared. The anecdote highlights a quiet domestic moment over faith and food.
A court like exchange reveals a composer barred from publishing a Molly song as editors require Nellie themed works. The judge directs the composer to Caterwaul & Yelp known for Molly themed material.
An ad urges owners to service and overhaul their Maxwell or Briscoe cars now. It cites 122000 idle cars and claims $1,750,000 invested in parts for 150 models. The Maxwell name is kept to protect 60000 owners who bought cars under that brand.
A fragmentary conversation reveals a maiden aunt in wistful mood as she recalls plans to visit Venice on her wedding tour and explains to her niece why the dream feels only half fulfilled.
A teacher asks a infant class if any child has seen an elephant's skin. A pupil answers I have, and explains the skin is seen on an elephant. The exchange captures a playful moment in a classroom.
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