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Newspaper
Russiaville Observer
Location
Russiaville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Oct 02, 1908
Page
6
A satirical column from The Observe mocks political splits after party growth, jokes about engagement to a widow, fake mining stocks, and a bogus book on starvation. It parodies faith, progress, and social trends with light humor and wordplay.
Comment notes the impossibility of keeping an ex President indefinitely. It also jokes about a Pennsylvania man who swallowed a knife while eating and quips that swallowing a fork would have been proper. The tone is satirical and lighthearted.
A brief note cites that Uncle Sam avoided buying new battleships thanks to proceeds or favorable terms connected with the Standard Oil Company, implying a financial windfall or savings impacting naval procurement.
A Swiss regulation bans hats exceeding eighteen inches in diameter. The note suggests the rule may reflect a solemn, mournful public mood in certain communities.
A magazine writer labels dynamite as canned thunder and suggests a can-opener would reveal he may have spoken better than he knew. The remark likens explosive force to a contained, audible blast.
A girl reflects that a man cannot tell the difference between a 49 cent shirt waist and one costing 27.85, highlighting sensitivity to perceived value and status in clothing. The remark underscores social expectations and material distinctions in personal presentation.
A misquoted line laments money as a corrupting force in America and Europe. The snippet contrasts money's vulgarity in the US with meanness in Europe and hints at financial ethics when accepting cash and credit.
A humorous note describes June brides appearing at breakfast in curl papers and kimonos, breaking traditional quiet wedding etiquette and signaling a lighthearted shift in domestic fashion norms.
An Eastern college professor quips that the floors of hell are paved with champagne automobiles and chorus girls. The remark draws reactions about dancing and social propriety in campus circles.
The remark suggests a connection between frequent heart strain and throat irritation during driving. It frames the issue as a speculative health note about how the heart may rise toward the throat while dodging vehicles.
An eighteen year old New York boy struggles with his second wife. He may believe a stormy career should begin now and be finished quickly.
A contemporary complains about small American presence in Paris with a tone of mock alarm noting 3 634 visitors. The piece argues the city is not as wicked as feared and offers a light, humorous assessment of the season’s tourist mix.
The piece notes Mr. Bryan’s fiercest term as fury while Mr. Taft uses fie. It suggests each side will unleash harsher rhetoric before the campaign concludes, hinting at heated public sparring ahead.
Dr. Wiley urged the American Biscuit Makers to bake with pure flour to prevent dyspepsia and the divorce problem. He warned heavy bread and greasy pies cause harm beyond measurement and urged education on cooking digestible meals for a better world.
The piece stresses that victims of auto accidents often blame roads, but drivers must accept primary responsibility for their safety. It notes speed and power can feel exhilarating, yet should not lead to recklessness, urging safer roads and prudent driver behavior.
Mrs. Dora Thrine who lived alone perished in a blaze that destroyed her Hamburg home. In a separate case Richmond physician Dr. George FH Grant, noted figure, died by his own hand last week.
Dr. Edgar Smith collapsed and died in weeds near Carre ton while blasting. His shotgun was found beside him, authorities report heart disease as the cause of death.
The Rev. John J. Morton an evangelist at Evansville forecast a world ending on or before October 25. The claim was made in a public address drawing attention to apocalyptic beliefs and the preacher urged heedfulness.
Lack of sufficient water to combat the blaze caused over $30,000 in losses at Salem, the county seat of Washington. Local authorities investigate the cause and assess firefighting readiness after the incident.
John Davis aged 24 and Ben Rubens a former soldier over 69 engage in a rifle duel at Madison over a dog. Rubens is shot in the thigh with injuries described as serious but non fatal.
Enoch Jenkins feeding mussels to his hogs on the White river near Bedford found a pearl he declined to sell for 250 dollars. The gem is believed to be of unusual value.
John W. Lewis editor of the Salem Republican Leander was nominated by acclamation for congress at the Republican Third District convention held in New Albany.
A seven week drought in northern Indiana broke last week as light rain fell over the Tippecanoe River valley ending the driest period in thirty years.
A group of Wingis Indiana and Michigan racing men seek to form a syndicate to advance a proposed race course at New Buffalo. The effort focuses on organizing and securing support to carry the project to a successful completion.
Six rabies cases in Terre Haute within a week prompt officials to tighten controls and warn residents to avoid contact with animals and report stray or sick animals immediately.
Quail coveys are dying of thirst across the state as drought grips the region. Wildlife observers report snakes traveling long distances to reach rivers seeking water.
Rain fell in several portions of Indiana last week bringing greatly needed relief as the drought had extended for weeks. At Brazil the first shower since June 17 fell.
Within the last month over 4500 oil and gas leases have been filed in the Warrick county recorder's office. These leases are being filed by the Standard Oil company, the Pure Oil company and the Boonville company.
Water shortages in Brown county force travelers to forgo drinks and buy water for their horses. In several cases visitors paid 5 cents per glass for themselves amid ongoing drought conditions affecting recreationists from the city.
Mr. and Mrs. Morgan J. Quick of Columbus marked their sixtieth wedding anniversary at the home where his parents Judge and Mrs. Tunis Quick also celebrated sixty years of marriage.
Last week Morgan County hill country suffered wildfires destroying several homes and many orchards. A peach orchard with Sud trees was among the losses. Water shortages hindered firefighting efforts though hundreds of farmers worked to save property.
Young Lewisville man Punishment Fit Crime? Henry Blaine Reynolds was freed from County Jail after serving six months for the assault on Daisy Brooks.
Julius Peehner a seventy two year old wealthy farmer of Starke county hanged himself fulfilling his dying promise to his wife that he would soon join her.
Mrs. Anna Glasco, 48, was shot and killed on her Pendleton area farm by her husband John Glasco who then slashed his throat with a butcher knife in an apparent murder suicide attempt.
Relatives and friends attending the grave service at Petersburg were forced to leave quickly when a bumblebee nest stirred up near the site.
Mrs. Rosa Summers, a 35 year old widow, sues Mrs. Lizzie Byrd in Evansville for $3,000 claiming slander. Both women are prominent in the community.
South Bend authorities summon a score of witnesses before the grand jury to testify on illegal liquor operations. Evidence is expected to lead to indictments against owners of several blind tiger establishments.
The State Board of Health monthly bulletin reports 2,952 deaths in Indiana for July with an annual death rate of 12.2. The same month last year recorded 2,986 deaths and a rate of 15.0.
Harry Williams, living east of Columbus, grew a corn crop without any irrigation or rainfall. Since planting, there has been no rain, yet the stalks stand tall and bear well-filled ears, indicating a successful dry farming effort.
State elders predict an early frost this fall based on cockleburs maturing and walnuts beginning to fall. These indicators are cited as reliable signs, with cockleburs unusually resilient to frost before maturity.
The body of Mrs. Olpha Whitman was found at the family farm near Frankfort after her husband Mr. Whitman returned from the fields. The woman had fatal bullet wounds to the heart and brain, indicating a murder.
Rattlers were located in an abandoned well near Owensville. Men attacked the snakes with clubs and guns, killing more than one hundred creatures.
James Covington, an engineer, visited Miss California Mounts in Exansville in her absence. He broke into her trunk, took her revolver, then shot himself in the looking glass room, dying instantly. He had frequented the woman and acted out of jealousy.
Detective C L Fish asserts there is incontrovertible evidence that Mrs Bella Gunness lured eleven victims to her Laporte house and remains alive, and that this will be shown at Ray Lamphere’s trial as she is a fugitive.
An irate father chased his daughter Cordelia Baker of Stewartsville who eloped at Evansville with James Nesbit of Cynthiana. They rode a traction car while he took a steam line, arriving as the marriage occurred. He forbade no one and the couple were forgiven.
In Harrison County on Benjamin Laslie’s Iris area farm a pond dried to its bottom exposing vegetation. A forest fire sparked flames that swept the pond, killing scores of fish frogs and turtles as the water heated near boiling.
The Madison County Fair Association is placed in receivership after failing to pay premiums from the Anderson Fair. The end of the association is expected along with possible wrecking and removal of buildings. Low patronage blamed on newspapers ignoring the August exhibit, with attendance dropping from 26,000 to 8,800.
Figures from the Indiana Bureau of Statistics by Mrs. Mary Stubbs Moore show statewide union affiliation. Indiana has 77 international unions, 1,043 locals, and 66,152 members, with 64 AFL affiliated groups accounting for 867 locals and 50,754 members.
A pale tenderfoot in Bernal Springs warns a bar bully and later returns as a bronzed ranger. He publicly forces Sandy to drink water from a pan, after drawing his gun and delivering a stern reckoning for his earlier bullying.
In a Chicago Tribune excerpt a quiet young woman in the box party watches the play with weariness. She finally comments to an elderly man that the girl in the blue kimono believes herself to be the entire crust.
The grain to biscuit conversion took twenty two minutes in Waitsburg Washington, surpassing a Minneapolis record by twenty nine minutes. The Minneapolis time was set years ago and may be improved, but current North West farming tech delays keep Waitsburg at the top.
The National Farmer notes a shift from Merino wool focus to mutton, with flocks raised for meat now dominant. Historical sales aged four to five years at 80 to 95 pounds, while current markets sell younger sheep averaging 105 to 120 pounds, and ewes now outweigh prior wethers in sale weight.
County Court Judge Fitzgerald startled a Waterford courtroom with a quip ordering police to “hurl the ragamuffins out of court” after applause at Lord Ashton's hearing. In another session he dismissed a displeased jury saying goodbye and he didn’t care if he ever saw them again.
The setting of plaster of Paris may be retarded by adding 2 to 4 percent powdered althea root enabling cutting filing and turning. An 8 percent addition retards the complete setting for about an hour allowing use while still plastic.
Instructions describe rinsing raw peanuts in shell with boiling water to whiten them. Dry, then roast with salt and butter in an oven until brown. They store well in a closed jar and resemble salted almonds in flavor.
The article explains Chinese clocks feature two dials, one for hours and one for minutes, with the clock hands remaining fixed while the dials rotate. It describes the mechanism and contrasts it with conventional clock designs.
A column riffs on domestic life and gender roles with wry aphorisms about marriage, parenting, politeness, and fashion. It cites Atchison Kan Globe and notes on women’s hips reflecting winter fashion, highlighting social humor and cautionary observations from a past era.
An Irishman described the human head with biting, unconventional imagery. He mocked the skull as a peg for wigs a target for falling helmets and a receptacle for follies and passions rather than brains.
Mrs Stubb jokes with Mr Stubb about the baseball game at the grounds. The punchline notes a warm muff as a feature of yesterday’s game, reflecting a playful newspaper quip from the St Louis Post Dispatch.
In Chicago, a leading lady jokes that her complexion is nature’s portrait while a comedian quips she is nature-faking. The backstage exchange plays into the humor of a stage scene in the Chicago News.
A brief dialogue quotes Farmer Korntop asking his boy be sent to saw wood today and Farmer Nearbye offering to help, with Korntop insisting he wants the job done in a hurry. The Catholic Standard and Times notes the exchange as a local rural anecdote.
A Washington Star quote labels a man as impractical and insincere. The speaker cites his inconsistent reassurance and sudden concern about comfort, criticizing his stance and behavior.
A Baltimore American snippet depicts a rival gaining favor with a woman by gifting her large billy goats to her nephews, sparking a sharp exchange about the impudent intruder and his strategic move.
In a Washington Star quote, Dustin Stax weighs the dilemma of campaign giving. He fears being labeled penurious if he withholds and an easy mark if he donates, highlighting pressure in political fundraising.
Delineator notes a mother recounting Adam and Eve to her children as a toddler jokes about moving to a new home once the Adamses leave. The quip captures domestic humor in a literary aside from a period publication.
A brief Chicago News item notes a young man with a cold hand claiming to know love lost while a maid coolly replies she understands due to the death of her pet dog last week.
A fragment shows a childlike play scene with a boy named Johnny and a parent figure. Ethel directs a pretend game around playhouse roles while mentioning a move from the country to New York. The tone resembles a domestic vignette from a historical newspaper page.
Catalog style notes describe multiple children's garments with fabric options and sizes. Items include a girl's dress with fancy yoke in cashmere or henrietta, a higher neck dress, a three-quarter sleeve plaid cheviot dress, a one-piece aprons in lawn Swiss or tan linen, and a boy's sailor suit in serge or linen with knickerbockers.
Fashion Editor at 400 Century Building Indianapolis sends Paris Pattern No with size and name request. Includes enclosure of 10 cents and asks recipient to provide name address for pattern transfer.
The Rustic shines a golden flask to light the liquid and ponders its promise of eternal life. The Aged Alchemist answers that the life it grants lasts until tariffs are revised by its friends.
A compact collection of proverbs advises restraint in harm and musing on prudence. It includes lines about shearing without flaying, choosing measured actions, and trusting knowledge to guide decisions.
Dialogue between Stella and Mabel hints at a betrothal with Tom as the fiancé. Mabel proclaims love and recalls never returning a gift to learn its price, reflecting social attitudes in Chicago society.
In a Washington Star quote, Mr Sirius Barker foresees the campaign ending with one side praising virtue and the other hinting at fraud. He predicts the usual finish where rhetoric centers on integrity versus alleged misconduct.
A dog catcher warns Sadam he must muzzle the dog or face the pound. The owner counters that a muzzle exists but is being used as a catcher’s mask, per the Chicago Record Herald.
The Springfield residence of Abraham Lincoln was donated to Illinois by Robert Todd Lincoln in 1882. It remained the only real estate owned by the emancipator and is now open to visitors.
The New York Press quotes Hewitt-Gruet on cremation language calling it jarring while Jewett-Well reflects on the idea, noting strong reactions to the topic.
The New York Sun quotes Macbeth resisting accusation and a sarcastic ghost blaming Loeb as the banquet ends.
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