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Newspaper
Russiaville Observer
Location
Russiaville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Dec 04, 1903
Page
2
A compact collection of satirical quips and witticisms from The Observer set in Russia Ville Indiana. The items reference Mark Twain in Italy Abdul Hamid a printer and other humorous asides about finance education and bookish folly. The tone mimics a 19th century newspaper column of light sarcasm.
A Paris statistician puts the Czar of Russia's wage at 81 dollars a minute in a wry note. The piece also notes the difficulty of 24 hour day activities among nihilists. A Charleston paper laments low in-migration to South Carolina and asks why few immigrants settle there. The Tillman case verdict is cited as a key explanation.
Delegates at the women's congress in Hamburg agree the practice of wearing corsets and jewelry is barbarous. Yet they note that baroque display can charm the refined, and many women may prefer being called barbarous to being called a frump.
A New Jersey board of education recently ruled that a boy may attend school without shoes if he wishes. Trustees in many small districts might be more surprised by the idea than the city board, as the request was to avoid compulsory footwear for the pupil.
The New York Sun notes a budding national spirit in Canada with a push to develop resources and favor goods made in Canada. The piece highlights a crusade for self reliance and the sense that Canada is becoming more than a colony.
Professor C. Stanley fiall investigates why marriage rates fall as population grows. After reviewing statistics he concludes that co education is the primary disruptor, suggesting reforms might restore marriage prospects.
A new currency symbol for the Philippines combines the letter P with two parallel lines across its upper lobe. Prescribed by Governor Taft, it aims to establish a lasting meaning and origin, much like the dollar sign.
Plans envision extending the Manila to Dagupan line 170 miles north, a new Manila to interior Luzon line, and a southern line of 75 miles. Costs cited are 3 million, 7 million, and 1.2 million dollars respectively. A Manila port connection to other islands is also proposed, with surveys by government engineers guiding resource development over investor gain.
A St Petersburg dispatch notes the fear of Emperor William's illness prompts the Czar to consider ending royal kissing. The piece also mentions a constitutional amendment idea to make the Vice President an irremovable cabinet member. It mocks a social scientist warning that men may become wifeless as women chase brides.
A traveler recalls an extravagant homemade lunch aboard the Empire State Express from New York to Buffalo. The man carries a lunch basket with a hot water bag, warms steak on his stomach, uses sugar tongs to eat, and even brews coffee in the bag, offering a comic, if chaotic, travelogue.
A writer dismisses dramatic shipboard infernal machines and death dealers noting centuries of practical handling. He cites a watchman who claims never to have seen a true explosion and a magnate’s office with a keen clockwork bomb detector. The piece likens danger to melodrama staples.
A Maine farmer settled a legal dispute by sending two ducks to the magistrate, but in his opponent’s name. The lawyer advised against it, yet the case favored the farmer, who revealed he sent the ducks to his rival.
A dialogue excerpt from the Philadelphia Ledger shows a tired wife declaring she feels cheap after a shopping trip. Her husband teases with a quip about her appearance, illustrating a light domestic vignette.
A traveling man says a hotel with comforts of home would help a town. The housekeeper counters that most want a home with hotel comforts. Philadelphia Press.
Bonds-Yes, I have the refusal of her. Town and Country reports a terse dialogue on a social matter.
The Duke of Roxburghe, newly married to Miss May Goelet, displays fine portraits in Kelso Castle with certain rooms open to the public on select days. A visitor once puzzled by two side by side paintings, one of the third Duke in youth and his son in old age, asked if the gentleman could be an old man when his father was born.
A Chicago Post item quotes a man who now attends church regularly after being prompted by a church fund subscription. His business training makes him seek value, implying even more giving would increase his attendance.
In Butler, Mississippi, Nov 30, Mr. G L Butler says his son carried spinal illness for months. After doctors failed, he used Dodd's Kidney Pills from a bed advertisement and claims the boy recovered after eight boxes with no symptoms remaining.
A brief exchange reveals Dumley claiming a clever answer to a conundrum, pleased with the idea but needing a fitting puzzle to fit it. The dialogue, attributed to George, resembles a cheeky note to the papers.
Advert says Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children were successfully used at the Children's Home in New York to cure constipation feverishness teething disorders and stomach issues. Claims 30 000 testimonials and urges sample free with address A 8 Olmsted LeRoy New York.
The item blends comic lines about pedestrians and drivers from a New York Weekly snippet, noting a joke about using a boat horn to clear roadways and a playful exchange on urban mobility. It also references a 1901 Brooklyn address and a broad note on electric costs in Berlin.
Report notes that chemists' shops may receive only a limited car number in Germany and new licenses are rarely issued. A Danzig sale fetched £9,600, with £5,000 for the license. American religious and educational investment in Turkey totals $6.5 million, with over $20 million spent on mission work over nearly a century. US per capita wealth averages $1,236 and Osage per capita wealth is $11,500.
A historic San Francisco transaction on August 30 1901 paid 112 500 for a purported prescription targeting Bright Disease and Diabetes. An investigation begun November 15 1900 tested many patients with 87 percent improving while 13 percent failed. Proponents published reports and offer free mailed clinical data via John J Fulton Company 420 Montgomery Street.
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