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Newspaper
Russell Banner
Location
Russell, Manitoba, Canada
Date
Aug 27, 1914
Page
2
A simple method to lift a stiff penknife blade without damage. Fold a thin sheet of paper and slip it under the blade, then fold the paper flaps up to raise the blade safely. A thin paper is essential and a narrow edge works best for this covert trick.
A man testifies about a gun explosion on a war vessel that sent him to hospital for months. He recalls the moment with a doctor’s instruction to sit up and take a pill, describing a fierce racket beside the gun.
London Ontario woman describes severe back pains that left her unable to move. After using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound she regained normal cycles and full health, and she urges others to try it.
R A Alexander of Aldergrove British Columbia former machine designer turns to farming work. He installs a full workshop with anvil forge drill press and bandsaw and is constructing a two horsepower nominal steam engine that will actually develop five to six horsepower. The engine on trucks aids wood cutting and feed handling while his dairy and crop work, especially potatoes, are highly successful.
The boundless popularity of Dr. Thames Electro Oils is not from heavy advertising but from the medicine’s merits. In cities towns and hamlets across the country it is sought after solely for its good qualities.
Oliver Wendell Holmes chats with a young girl building sand pyramids on the beach. The child, after meeting the famed author, dutifully repeats a farewell line about walking with him. The exchange ends with the girl inventing a name Mary Susanna Brown to match the scene.
An advertisement touts Putnam’s Corr and Wart Extractor as a reliable, speedy solution for corns and warts, claiming it relieves pain and distress with prompt action.
A church choir clashed with its minister over an anthem. After the minister declared his text Now When the Uproar Has Ceased the choir briefly won the moment by changing the musical program and finishing with Now it is high time to wake out of sleep.
Two Philadelphians discuss a third city resident whose wealth began with buying 16 000 dozen eggs at a low price, storing them, and selling at a profit over 400 percent. The first big gain is described as the cornerstone of his fortune, prompting the quip that “the hens laid it.”
Secretary Bryan's humor draws roaring laughter from New Jersey students as he handles curious questions about a red cow eating green grass producing white milk. The scene pleases him though it is minor next to the ongoing diplomatic tensions noted by the New York Sun.
Reports from England describe crabs instinctively finding their way home. Yorkshire crabs released at Skegness walked back to the coast of Lincolnshire. A male and female pair trapped together in Yorkshire were taken to Lincolnshire, milked, and released along the coast. They later met again in the sea and were recaptured near their original home in Yorkshire.
Fragmentary OCR yields a personal confession of a writer who sat to an artist for Diana and is now engaged by the same men. The garbled text suggests a domestic or social dispute without clear names or dates. Further readable context is needed for full factual card.
A diner asks for apple pie while a waiter apologizes for a mix up in the order. The exchange ends with the guest insisting on following the server’s misread instructions and unclear guidance.
Mr Emanuel Bernard of St Pauls Ken county NB reports his wife suffered eighteen years with kidney disease headaches and bowel pains. After a year with a doctor and no relief she used five boxes of Dr Chase's Kidney Liver Pills achieving satisfactory results. The pills cost 25c per box or five for $1.00 from dealers or Edmanson Bates Co Limited Toronto.
A London Illustrated Bits gag shows a young wife complimenting a man who always says the right thing while the spinster doubts she will ever meet such a man. The cartoon plays on social dating norms with a witty quip about elusive charm.
A humorous exchange about a mother and daughter from London Punch. Ethel worries Tommy will be eight next month making him a year older, reflecting playful family dynamics and childhood rivalries.
The Australian postmaster general plans a new 6d stamp featuring a cockatoo bird in natural colors. The stamp should be ready for general circulation in a month or two, with projected annual demand around 50 million stamps, of which about 469 million will be pennies.
A collector of curios recalls discovering a backstall volume in Paris valued as extraordinary treasure. He hesitated at the dealer's price, imagining immense luck, but ultimately laments missing the chance. He admits he could never sing a note in his life, fleeing in tears.
A schoolroom exchange shows a girl remarking on geography and learning jogfry while a mother and Aunt Sally claim they never learned jog fry. The girl notes she did learn jogfry and is not married, highlighting social stakes and humor in the regional quip.
The Italian government plans a nine foot high metal netting barrier along the Swiss frontier to curb smuggling and loss of revenue. Posts and staff will be increased and police dogs assigned to detect and pursue smugglers. net contact produces a ringing alert for customs.
Pat secures a job at an ironworks and stays in a boarding house with a colored bedmate. After a prank, he learns the foreman hired a white man, prompting a heated discussion. The office reveals the mistaken identity.
The mayor led the gathering with Joseph Chamberlain as guest of honor. During coffee service the mayor leaned toward Chamberlain and asked if they should allow the crowd to enjoy themselves a while longer or proceed with the speech.
Chlorine is described as an essential gas in commercial chemistry, vital for whitening textiles, disinfection, and gold extraction. It notes its immense value to the world and honors Scheele, the discoverer, who reportedly lived in poverty and died a pauper.
Mrs Dale-Doviette opening a bazaar in Devonshire shares a humorous anecdote about a man who said his life was “throwing my whole soul into pigs” when asked what he cared about. The quip highlights local wit at the event.
The seventh centenary of Roger Bacon's birth was celebrated at Oxford University. The famous philosopher predicted steamships, automobiles, and flying machines and stressed the unity of science. His advocacy for liberty and reform led to punishment by Franciscan authorities, but today he is celebrated as a pioneer of learning and science.
A teacher asks what could be sadder than a man without a country. A girl replies a country without a man, in a reflective exchange cited by the Topeka Journal.
A sketch depicts a mistress confronting Mary about leaving a household. The mistress argues Mary has a good position, while Mary cites dissatisfaction with the work quality. The exchange highlights tensions over duties and expectations in a servant master dynamic.
An experimenter shows that gunpowder once made for destruction, rich in potassium nitrate, can be used as fertilizer for garden vegetables. Officials seek to utilize discarded powder in soil treatment, a method covered by the New York Tribune as it is thoroughly wetted and worked into the soil.
A cultured Boston woman aims to engage in dialogue while a Chicago youth, teased by a judge, declines Crabbe tales and jokes about lobster fare.
A quarrel erupts at a mining camp hotel after a worker complains the towel is disgraceful while the porter notes 75 men have used towels that morning and this man is the first to complain.
In a playful exchange a chaperon remarks on a man guiding a young woman, he replies grateful for the help in locating the right spot all evening amid unfamiliar attire. The banter captures social etiquette and the challenge of navigation at a formal event.
A child recalls neighbors asking many questions during a visit, including inquiries about how much salary the father earns and whether he quarrels with the family, highlighting social curiosity in everyday life.
A local band in Scotland is asked by an old native about the piece they render. The bandmaster replies it is The Death of Nelson. The native remarks that it gives Nelson an awful death. Pearror weekly.
An artist asks a Berlin critic for an opinion and is told the work is worthless. The artist acknowledges the harsh verdict with a calm remark that the response still interests him.
An old classified style ad promotes Marine Eye Remedy for red, weak, watery eyes or granulated eyelids. It lists liquid and salve formats with prices 25c and 50c, with a mail order Eye Book free, from Marine Eye Remedy Co. in Chicago.
A Sunday School review turns humorous as a pupil answers Solomon as the wisest man and Jonah as the strongest, with a quip about a whale freeing him after being swallowed. The exchange reflects lighthearted classroom storytelling from a Philadelphia North America source.
A terse reference letter states Nora Foley worked for a week and that the employers are satisfied. The note is addressed “To who it may concern” and offers minimal details about the employment period or duties.
F M Doucet of Weymouth reports a mare badly bruised and cut by a wire fence. After trying various medicines, Dr Bell recommended Minard’s Liniment diluted then stronger. In three weeks the sores healed, hair grew back and was not white.
A fragment shows a Scots dialogue where a woman complains about a steak and boots and the butcher questions why she did not use pegs to secure it. The brief exchange highlights rustic humor and dialect.
A street Arab stands on a weighing machine as daylight fades. He drops a counterfeit penny into the slot and silently steals a weight from the scale.
Lord Kitchener notes Egyptian village barbers act as sanitary officials after exam and three week lectures at Mudiria hospital. They vaccinate, apply leeches and cupping, issue burial permits, and report deaths including suspected infectious disease. If illiterate, a village tax collector handles registration.
Wise mothers trust Miller's Worm Powders to expel worms and restore natural vigor. The vermifuge is marketed as absolute in clearing the system and supporting robust growth in children, claiming to be the most trustworthy worm exterminator.
A humorous dialogue mocks medical diets with a patient asking for meat and a doctor replying that meat is banned by order of a strict zaletudinary diet. The exchange captures early 20th century humor about medical rules and dietary folly.
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