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This newspaper page contains 20 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Roland Record
Location
Roland, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Feb 09, 1911
Page
8
On the San Francisco cruise a Massachusetts Naval Reserve member on watch cried Light ahoy and misidentified the night sky as dim moonlight. After the officer's surprise the man corrected himself shouting Moon ahoy in apology.
A Youngstown Telegram joke recounts an ironworker who planned to name his first son Mat after a friend. When told of the newborn, the friend asked about Mat, but the father quips that the baby’s name is Mattress, revealing a humorous misunderstanding about the name.
A man dismisses cheaper postage, citing limited personal letter writing and a reluctance to ease costs for those who send him bills. The remark frames a stance focused on self-interest over broader public benefit.
The piece explains tying a strong rope with large knots and storing it ready near a window. A looped end around a bed post or hook allows quick access in a fire. In a blaze, throw the rope out and descend, accepting possible blisters or a minor fall but avoiding roasting.
The article explains how winter pruning drives wood growth and can oversize trees, while summer pruning checks wood growth and boosts fruit buds. It outlines top shaping, low-headed trees, and a 3 to 4 twig-per-branch guideline over three years to create a symmetrical, sunlit canopy. It also notes root pruning effects and practical steps for one and two year old trees.
R G Weatherstone urges including a wide herb variety in every garden. Sow annual seeds early and mid summer for perennial strength, transplant when seedlings are ready, and divide roots to start new plants. Harvest leaves before flowering, dry in a cool, shady room, then powder and store in tight containers.
Perley G. Davis of Granby Massachusetts wins 500 prize from New England Corn exposition judges for a record corn yield on one acre. He harvested 10314 bushes of crib dry yellow flint corn and produced 127 bushels of shelled corn at harvest.
The wool industry in Australia yields an annual return of about 150 million to 176 million dollars. Including sheep sales, studs, flocks, and yard sales for local use, the total likely reaches around 250 million dollars per year.
The physician’s pretty daughter is betrothed to a college student the father disapproves of. He argues they are too young, yet she defies him with hope. The lover’s sigh yields to her tease that when the doctor gives up, hope grows stronger.
Mrs I J Horton of Katonah New York recounts long battles with painful inflamed fingernails and nail loss. After trying doctors prescriptions with limited success she used Cuticura Soap and Ointment nightly. nails grew out clean and no further infections occurred. She notes another update months later stating no recurrence.
An exchange unfolds with medieval flair as The Cannibal King and The Cook dispute a burnt lunch dish. The Cook recounts catching a scorching cyclist, while The Cannibal King responds with majesty and rhetoric in a satirical sketch.
Repeats praise from Rev. H. C. Jones of Extension La about Resinol Ointment as an excellent remedy for all scalp trouble after suffering 15 years. A Baltimore connection is noted with a testimonial from a respected local man.
The Portuguese revolution left Lisbon's zoological gardens in disarray as animals fell ill from alarm after bombardment. They refused to eat or drink, affecting care and display conditions at the zoo.
An ad encourages mothers to check Castoria bottles for the proper signature and notes the product has been used for over 30 years. Included are quips about Dustin Stax and a reflection on speaking clearly versus thinking, ending with a boast about hard work delivering diamonds to opera singers.
A playful exchange features Jessie declining a suitor with a quip that his fortune is too small and his hand too large, turning down offers of marriage or wealth in light conversation.
Ad copy touts French bean coffee as a healthful drink that can be grown in a 10 by 10 patch yielding 50 pounds or more in Wisconsin in 90 days. Promoted by John A. Salzer Seed Co. of La Crosse Wisconsin, offering culture directions, a mammoth seed catalog, and vegetable and flower seeds for mailing with stamps or money orders.
A playful reminiscence of Senator Newlands of Nevada delivering lofty speech. a punchline notes his line about food elephants when the Congressional Record misprints it. The page also promotes Defiance Starch and Hamlin’s Wizard Oil as quick fixes for stiffness and ache. A humorous quip about pessimists closes the item.
An old drugstore advertisement proclaims PAZO OINTMENT cures itching bleeding and protruding piles in six to fourteen days with a money back guarantee. The copy also includes a humorous aside about a woman's idea of a great financier who can straighten out her expenses.
Mrs J G Johnson of Scottville Michigan extols Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and Sanative Wash for her health after hard farm labor. She credits the remedies with preventing backache and bearing down pains and notes her daughter benefited from the compound for painful periods. The ad touts the product as made from native roots and orbs without narcotics and claims many cures of female diseases.
The Health Hints editors answer the top question how to cure constipation. Dr Caldwell’s Syrup Pepsin is promoted as a natural solution trained to restore bowel function, backed by supporters in Detroit Oklahoma City and thousands more. Free sample bottles available by writing Dr Caldwell at Caldwell Building.
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