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Newspaper
Riverdale Pointer
Location
Riverdale, Illinois, United States of America
Date
May 29, 1914
Page
7
The story from Arnold Haultain’s biography of Goldwin Smith recalls the late Duke of Cambridge who spoke aloud in church. During a princess’s marriage to a penniless German prince the groom declared “With all my worldly goods I thee endow.” The duke interrupted with, “Rubbish! Why, the boots he’s standing in ain’t paid for yet.”
The squibs recount Gibbs buying a whole hogshead of brains to prove a point. Old man Jones jokes Gibbs is crazy as he cannot eat them all in six months. The twist reveals the brain supply came from inside the hog’s head.
A wife asks what the letters on her husband’s Masonic seal stand for. He quips that they really stand for they can't sit down, delivering a lighthearted pun about the emblem.
An unnamed amateur balloonist known only as John drowned in the Mississippi near Alton when a parachute failed and the gas bag sank. The incident is reported with other Illinois notes including civic appointments, marriages, and local notices across several towns.
A Springfield hospital death follows a mine accident in Penwell. In Elgin a demand to reopen the Magnus inquest is filed. Porter's state post resigns effective June 1. Pontiac reports smallpox at Livingston county jail. Bloomington notes a 240 acre farm left to three Methodist institutions. Chicago will send delegations to Washington for a foreign trade push. Joliet marks half mast for Mrs Madden. Decatur traders and a banker face an indeterminate term over a $4,000 scam. Carbondale hosts a Southern Illinois Editorial gathering with leaders and editors from the region.
An American recalls witnessing a thief steal his wardrobe then flee. A native officer arrest warrant is challenged by the Filipino magistrate who tells the man to leave the clothes as proof may be demanded when the thief returns to claim them. The tale ends with the magistrate’s wry remark.
One hundred years ago negotiations for a definitive peace between France and the allies neared completion. The treaty, known as the Peace of Paris, was ratified with King of Prussia and emperors of Russia and Austria attending, and Lord Castlereagh representing Britain. It largely restored French frontiers to 1792 and set the stage for a Vienna congress to redraw European states.
In aged ads a claim urges mothers to examine Bettie CASTORIA for infant relief and to verify the signature. the slogan notes over 30 years of use. Another line touts Wright's Indian Vegetable Pulls as a 75 year remedy with a sample offer from New York address.
A humorous line from Puck scene where Mrs de Style asks if there is a poor person who would care for a discarded lorgnette. The exchange hints at charity and social concern in a witty tone.
Brief collage of ad lines mentions Putnam Fadeless Dyes claiming cold water color, a request to break a twenty, a line about breaking a record, a nostrum Roman Eye Balsam for eye irritation, and a quip about a diploma from the school of experiences suggesting wisdom from practice.
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