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Newspaper
Riverdale Pointer
Location
Riverdale, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Dec 13, 1929
Page
4
A selection of syndicated quips links unpaid bills to winter chills and asks readers to support local leadership. It notes Census and school concerns, child health, and the cost of living ahead of 1930. The tone mixes social commentary with reminders to invest in community improvement.
Executives of leading railroads promised President Hoover they will pursue a major program of railroad improvement in the coming year. The plan aims to speed freight movement, reduce stockpiling, and boost overall efficiency of the nation's business machine by cutting waste and enabling dealers to reorder more frequently.
The piece argues Congress should probe stock market practices while noting limited gains from such inquiries. It contends investors will trade regardless of laws, even in streets or back offices, and questions the value of restricting exchanges.
An English unemployment minister argues that sales organization is key for English producers to compete with American makers. He credits American automakers' success to affordable, well-made cars and aggressive marketing, noting Americans widely use advertising and have built global car fame.
Dr. Shapley of Harvard Observatory notes the smallest measurable thing an electron under a millionth of a millionth of an inch and the largest measured reach a star system a thousand trillion miles across. He argues human intellect and instruments surpass mere matter, hinting at a grand destiny.
A miscellany of humorous quotes and translated quips. The items include a skunk story with a pious mom and spray line, a Freshman registration pun, a marriage absence excuse, poverty anecdotes, a bald joke, family age ruse, and a November caption about socks.
Mortality study by Dr. Andy Hall shows 23 709 of 90 192 Illinois deaths were over 70 and 8 333 were babies. One in three survivors reach 70, one in eight women live past 80, one in twelve men reach 80. Only 48 centenarians in 90 192 deaths. Most live to 90 or 80 remain popular milestones.
A collection of edgy jokes and sketches about romance royalty and scandal. The anecdotes feature a countess in flagrante use of innuendo a Chinaman door keyhole humor a Scotsman at a banquet a Venice flood and a comic divorce with a three dollar fee.
A speaker calculates Pat’s year into work and leisure blocks accounting for sleep recreation Sundays vacations weekends meals and holidays. After subtracting all time off the narrator asks if Pat deserves a raise. Pat responds with a sharp quip about his past efforts.
A Kansas City Star quotation notes how a man seems content in his early years with an infant, yet two decades later his daily walk with his wife’s poodle reveals that he wishes he had remained a bachelor.
An Irish worker employed by a Dutch employer requested a raise. The Dutch owner responded with a warning about truth in numbers and a demand for proof of value before any salary increase.
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