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Newspaper
Potosi Journal
Location
Potosi, Missouri, United States of America
Date
Dec 02, 1903
Page
3
A humor piece notes a boastful claim of superior education. An old man laughs at a son who “went to four colleges in lesson one year,” suggesting he passed through colleges quickly like a cone shaped bullet. The tale contrasts pretension with a comic misfortune in a road collision.
A parade of brief quips and comic exchanges from era humor pages. Bits involve a doctor called about a baby, a newsboy, remarks on Boston culture, a whisky joke, a wheel theft warning, charity visitor lines, a memory joke, and a Delicate daughter remark.
The Fourth Assistant Postmaster General Bristow report and a president memorandum reveal widespread corruption in the post office service. Key offenders include Tyner Machen Beavers and others. indictments pursued. reforms called for harsher punishment and better inspection. several officials have resigned or been removed.
King Edward's entries at the Birmingham cattle show yielded four first prizes for Hereford, short horn, and Devon cattle. He also took three breed championships and two challenge cups with the Shereford steer, plus three second prizes, per a Birmingham dispatch dated December 1.
For nearly three days Cu mana in the Bermades state on the gulf of Cariacoa has been enveloped in sulphurous smoke. The origin remains unknown as about 100 inhabitants fear leaving their homes. A committee is investigating the matter.
William J. Bryan dined with Belfast’s lord mayor and toured Queen’s Island shipyards and other factories. He plans to go next to Glasgow and Edinburgh. In Chicago, a colored man shot by a Special Policeman after ejecting from a theater died at county hospital.
Housekeepers are urged to beware of cheaper baking powders advertised by grocers and peddlers. Alum powders are harmful to health, and some phosphate powders contain dangerous additives. A New York seizure exposed unsafe ingredients. Buyers should choose a cream of tartar or grape-derived powder from reputable brands and avoid testers at home.
A first sighting of Mr. Gladstone in the 1880s or early 1900s as he walked from Harley Street to Westminster via Regent Street and Pall Mall, described with admiration for his stature, dignity, and benevolent presence. The narrator recalls meeting him later at Hawarden, noting Gladstone’s old-world urbanity and gracious, non ceremonious welcome.
A Colorado town 13 200 feet above sea level claims a unique court of last resort. In a tale from Philadelphia Ledger and St Louis Globe Democrat readers learn of a mountain magistrate who decides a case with crisp speed, declaring no higher court exists and humorously noting rain changes.
A mother questions her son and daughter about a quarrel with little Elsie. Dick retorts that Elsie tempted him with the apple in their improvised Adam and Eve play, then ate it herself, leaving the dispute unresolved.
The piece argues Republicans hold a 263 electoral vote path in 1904 with 25 states supporting their ticket, while Democrats show no clear candidate or issue to unite behind. It notes Roosevelt’s likely re election and a divided Democratic caucus on Panama policy and other issues amid weak enthusiasm for figures like Cleveland or Gorman.
A historical advertisement touts Dr Kilmer’s Swamp Root as a universal kidney liver and bladder remedy with testimonials claiming dramatic health boosts. It offers a free sample by mail and urges readers to contact Kilmer & Co in Binghamton New York for more information and a testimonial book.
An old bachelor recounts Bilkins’ incarceration and a thief’s motive to marry. The dispenser of information blames a woman for the crime and suggests Bilkins should have been sent to an asylum for feeble-minded persons rather than prison.
Patrick Kelly owned the sole car in a Kerry village and used it to transport a jailed suspect to the prison after a magistrate fined him. He first demanded 50 shillings in advance, forcing the constable to pay 40 shillings, then changed his mind, returned the money, and drove off while the constable walked back. The episode was noted in London Tit-Bits.
The Cincinnati Commercial Tribune reports a humorous take on Noah releasing doves to see if land belongs to Morgan or Rockefeller. The quip notes monopolies not yet invented, suggesting their ark voyage might continue otherwise.
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