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Newspaper
Petersburg Daily Progress
Location
Petersburg, Virginia, United States of America
Date
May 20, 1909
Page
2
A collage of quirky items notes mild intoxication slang, a farming headline about raising money, a fever remedy from sunflowers, and odd vignettes including Wasps Capture Flies, a gold ballast claim near Sudbury Vermilion River, Russia government bars, a lawyer’s separation joke, Belgian education in housework, and a shipboard death watch tale. The pieces reflect eclectic rural press humor and brief cultural curiosities.
At the Fashion and Fabric Exposition in Chicago a crowd of about five hundred women witnessed a staged wedding. Alicia Thompson appeared in white with orange blossoms as Mme White critiqued the bridal costume from veil to train, offering fashion advice on contour lines and preservation of form.
San Jacinto explorer Bond reports a large ancient town near the edge of the Coachella Valley with paved earthenware and terrace streets. He informed Charles F. Lummis and will present full details to the Smithsonian Institution for immediate exploration.
In Garuldhersville Methodist Church a woman, Cora Short, publicly confessed love for Rev Lyman F. Jackson, who was removed from the pastorate after admitting affection for her. She said she regretted the infatuation and that they did nothing more than allow it to grow, while noting past talk with Mrs Jackson.
In Philadelphia a secret subterranean passage from Christ Church to Market Street, over 200 feet long, was uncovered while digging a sub cellar under a hardware store. Eight skeletons lay in a heap along with a stair remains, suggesting the route used to remove church chimes during the Revolutionary War.
Francis Wells, sixty, was returning from church on horseback when Eli Johnson, seventeen, pulled the mule's tail. The mule bucked, throwing Wells headfirst to the ground. he died. Johnson is held on a murder charge.
Cin Meat and Gristie and Bone marvel at a large peculiarly shaped pair of scissors in a showcase. The clerk explains they are for carving meat and that in Europe the tool is popular for cutting meat gristle and bone, but requires practice and is rarely used in the United States.
A visitor asks a portraitist to paint the father, arguing the prophet Elijah was imagined, and suggests modern likenesses. The painter notes lack of reference. Wealthy Lucius Cleeve’s tale of a nurse’s daughter sketches marriage to wealth and social spectacle. An optimist notes men’s woes about wives. An Alvershot correspondent reports infantry gear upgrade to web equipment. Cement used to protect iron remains well preserved in Brest and Rovhelte findings.
Comanche chief Quwitah Parker visited an Oklahoma ice plant, noting admiration for the plant and declaring White man smart and capable, with a quip about ice making. A Hobpsier boy visiting his aunt in the city marveled at parquet floors and patent leather carpets, exclaiming in awe.
The London Globe quotes etiquette quips from Augustus Hullo and notes the Saturday Evening Post observes online schools cost about three hundred million dollars annually. The item juxtaposes social satire with a public education cost point.
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