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Newspaper
Pella Chronicle
Location
Pella, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Dec 10, 1908
Page
1
Issued every Thursday by Sadler Shuts Co. with H J Shutts as business manager. Employees and owners sign an agreement to close on six holidays New Year Memorial Day July Fourth Labor Day Thanksgiving Christmas. Also notes stumpage costs for pulpwood Canada versus the United States and labor shift differences affecting paper mill sales and reader costs.
Editorial talk of Taft tariff reform costing a million to elect and saving double that for the people. Co L G Anderson cites Manila Panama sanitary supervision as better than New York or Washington. Editors shown rising weights, Stader notes 142 to 192 pounds in six years. Polk County rural carriers meet in Prairie City on Thanksgiving with fellowship. next gathering in Des Moines on Washington's Birthday anniversary.
The piece argues that spending hundreds of millions on Filipinos over ten years, if redirected to domestic issues, could reduce tuberculosis typhoid fever and other preventable diseases. It condemns Americans for low regard for human life, noting railroads mines factories autos and crowded housing cause thousands of deaths annually due to preventable hazards and polluted conditions.
Oskaloosa merchants announce plans to host a festive holiday program similar to those held by peers in other towns. Details on dates venues and participants were not disclosed, but organizers promise a lively sequence of events for the community.
Office of W H Thrift announces the first volume of A History of Iowa Military Organizations and a Revised Roster. The complete eight volume work spans about 1200 pages per volume. After distribution to institutions, remaining volumes sell for 1.25 dollars each. remittances go to the Adjutant General in Des Moines.
FRUIT-LAX is presented as the best constipation remedy selected by eight thousand reputable druggists and physicians in the American Druggists Synphorr. The ad targets all druggists with pricing 10c to 25c or 49-53 cents, asserting broad professional endorsement and superior efficacy.
The piece discusses how English in Porto Rico blends with Spanish under U S occupation. It cites a San Juan paper announcing a mitin as a rapid transit version of meeting, illustrating local language adaptation to Spanish phonetics and usage.
In Henry Sav age's production Edwin Stevens quips that "Things aren't always what they sound" while modeling a patent leather shoe over his hoof. A teacher once asked the puzzle of the suffix "stan" meaning "place of" with examples Afghanistan and Hindoostan. a young pupil replies with a punny answer umbrel lastan, the place for umbrellas.
The indigenous African races are described as four main groups: the Negroes proper forming a central belt from the Atlantic to the Egyptian Sudan. the Fulahs linked with Nubians between Lake Chad and the Niger. the Bantus occupying most of the southern region. and the Hottentots in the far south. Some anthropologists also classify Kaffirs and Sethuana as Bantu, with Semitic and Hamitic groups in the south and northeast, including Abyssinians and Gallag.
At a banquet the narrator, fearing public speaking, spots the toastmaster calling for him as Jones the famed speaker. He signals a nearby admirer to take the mic, guiding the imitator to deliver the address. The crowd applauds while the real speaker hides, sipping wine until he recovers.
Six year old Jackie argues with his mother over Santa Claus. He fears the boy next door, Jimmie Norton, may truly believe in Santa, and worries his friend’s future children will miss Christmas gifts unless the truth is revealed.
A Square Deal assures you that Dr Pierce's medicines show all ingredients on bottle wrappers and formulas sworn as complete. The Discovery aids indigestion and stomach disorders, acts as an antiseptic and demulcent, and treats catarrh and chronic coughs though not consumption in advanced stages. It promotes nasal passages and bronchia health with associated remedies for catarrh and coughs.
Dr. Smith Jelliffe cites a tedious senator as a dull orator and recalls a minister who preached a long sermon only to have the entire flock asleep. He pauses, then shakes the desk and vows to repeat the entire sermon, claiming the labor deserved more attention.
The piece extols laughter as the best tonic for health and charm. It warns giggling harms beauty, urges fresh air and sunshine for girls, and promotes cheerfulness as the sole route to beauty and popularity.
An epitaph collector displays a photograph of a marble tomb bearing a clergy written verse by W. W. Lord. The inscription recalls Iroquois slain in a nearby battle and frames the fate of the land as a pledge of peace.
In Charleston West Virginia a judge known for rough manners presided over a case with a lawyer who disliked him. The lawyer spoke while the judge sat with feet on the railing hiding his face. The lawyer asked which end of the judge he should address. The judge replied whichever you choose. The lawyer quipped there is as much law in one end as the other.
Two visitors on a personally conducted tour lingered at a Florence hotel overlooking the Arno. One voices doubt that they are in Venice, noting the absence of a gondola, prompting the other to acknowledge the misimpression as they discuss their surroundings.
An Exchange excerpt argues that nagging and bad temper mar a woman's beauty and character, while self restraint and self respect defend dignity. It notes that quarrels worsen when only one side feeds them and encourages women of refinement to rise above vulgar bickering, upholding standards.
A boy received one dollar for returning sixty thousand dollars of gilt-edged bonds. A porter found eighty thousand dollars in diamonds and pearls and earned twenty six. A prominent man recovered a compromising letter and was surprised to be paid three hundred. The man urged charity, saying he would never reveal the finder. Grime six dollars for his child’s clothes.
Earnest female professor asks for the botanical name of a whale in a witty exchange. The scene portrays a humorous clash of disciplines with a playful back and forth about names and classification.
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