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Newspaper
Patoka Register
Location
Patoka, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Mar 06, 1908
Page
2
A miscellany from Patoka Illinois includes quips on love and time, humor about catfish, a jab at congress costs, and musings on education in China. It mentions Raisuli admiration, a Cincinnati incident with a jailed masher, and playful notes on diamonds, pigeons, and Denver as a convention hub.
The piece describes hog cholera as a major threat to hog breeders with a firsthand account of using Sloan’s ointment to treat infected hogs. It also recounts a Kansas City Star clipping where a caller demands police intervention and a patrol wagon for a drunk, culminating in an empty return and a note of no trouble found.
A Frenchman stranded in New York explains to a lawyer that his comte has stolen his purse and would have found it himself if not. In another vignette a young man courting a girl nine years fears Niagara Falls may dry up in 50,000 years, prompting plans for a bridal trip.
An Illinois surgeon recounts giving up coffee after tremors and insomnia, finding relief with Postum. He describes a friend's similar improvement, notes better circulation and sleep, and urges boiling Postum per directions. The pitch ends by promoting Postum as a national drink.
The speaker argues heredity plus environment shape humanity and urges persuasive, not coercive, measures to guide offspring quality. He favors openness about marriage choices, limits on divorce, and long-term community interests, noting immigration as a quick source of change and potential improvement.
An essay argues flirting is fading and advises men to marry a flirt for happiness. It extols the flirt as understanding life, bringing vitality and sunshine, and claims she will make a good wife and mother, with faults largely lovable.
A shift in orthodox prayer presents prayer as gratitude and self relation rather than petition. Prayer becomes a daily effort toward right relations with life’s order, with work and service replacing rain prayers, health invocations, and prosperity pleas.
Letters from Coaldale and Warner describe winter wheat and straw yields, acreages, and prices in early 1908. Farmers report 349 acres with wheat and oats, yields ranging 38 and 74 bushels per acre, and $1 per bushel for wheat. Other notes cover breaking work, alfalfa, potatoes, and overall farm productivity. The second letter notes 2515 bushels from 100 acres of break ing, 60 acres yielding 30 bushels per acre, and settlers praising conditions.
In a witty exchange a salesman urges a talking machine, while Mr. Grouch quips that he already has one, joking that he married it. The banter captures a lighthearted wartime-era humor tone.
The cartoon caption contrasts two men in a money scene. The Needy One asks for a dollar for a day or two while The Other One says the dollar he lends is currently lent out and has several names down for it when it returns.
A New York firm offers nine pieces from the Merry Widow Opera with words and music for 25 cents. The notice invites readers to send for the publication and highlights current popularity in London Paris and New York. It also promotes Garfield Tea as a remedy for digestive issues and a note on how winning manners affect matrimonial outcomes.
Milwaukee grain merchant J. H. Van Burden warns the western farmer faces losses of at least 100 million dollars yearly due to rats. He estimates a national rat population of 150 million with about a third in large cities and notes rats consume about 50 cents worth of grain annually per rat.
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