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Newspaper
Patoka Register
Location
Patoka, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Jul 17, 1908
Page
8
The column surveys a string of humorous and curious items from around the world and society. It jokes about court etiquette, a Nashville divorce claim, a Chicago crib, tin ore finds in Alaska, and Edison on sleep as habit. It also notes a duke of Abruzzi naval year, Mme Eames in Europe, ballooning in Philadelphia, and New York city kitchen misgivings.
A cultured Philadelphian abroad complains that American diplomacy is a butt abroad. The writer asserts it has struck several exponents of foreign diplomacy off the bridge and continues to butt.
A New York woman lawyer announces her office will serve women clients only, prompting debate as to whether female clients will seek male lawyers instead.
A university professor is quoted predicting Timbuctoo as the world capital four millennia from now. The remark is met with skepticism, noting prudent investors should wait centuries and verify broader risks before buying land for a speculative rise.
With two cent postage for letters between England and the United States, postages may drop to one cent. That reduction could lead to more ocean liners and travelers sending home mementos, as cheaper rates spur a flood of souvenirs from travel.
The Chicago mayor, long known as a bachelor, reportedly married in a clandestine ceremony two months ago without public notice or newspaper coverage. The event drew attention for its unconventional approach and potential personal rewards.
In London of 100000 spectators the opening ceremony for the fourth Olympiad unfolds in heavy rain. King Edward speaks as 2500 athletes from 30 nations file before royal boxes while Americans lead the parade amid cheers and royal observers from Europe look on.
St Paul welcomes the thirty fourth annual convention of the Ancient Arabic Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine. Visitors estimate 40 000 to 50 000 by Monday night. Downtown streets glow with illumination as programs unfold through the week. The imperial council opens Tuesday with planned entertainments for Shriner members and guests.
Paris advices from Port au Prince warn that conditions grow more serious after the burning of the French hospital. An outbreak is feared among Haitians hostile to foreigners as the French cruiser Chas seloup Laubet remains the only warship in the harbor.
Boston editor Erastus Blakeslee author and publisher of Graded Sunday School Lessons died at his Brookline home after a brief illness. Civil War veteran and brevet brigadier general noted for bravery.
New York recorded 93.7 degrees at official readings on Sunday with higher readings on street thermometers. Police reported two heat related deaths and numerous prostrations despite the extreme temperatures.
An electric storm in Philadelphia struck a trolley car returning from a suburb. Passengers panic led to five women being thrown to the roadway and badly injured.
Frank Howard of Harvard Illinois died instantly after being struck in the heart by a fast pitched ball while catching during a Rockford baseball game. He was 16 years old.
A synopsis of the Democratic national platform calls for government by the people, publicity for campaign funds, direct election of senators, strong trust busting, tariff revision, income and inheritance taxes, railroad regulation, postal savings banks, and an eight hour workday. It condemns imperialism in the Philippines and urges peaceful international arbitration and expansion of irrigation and forests.
East St Louis officials bring Charles Bennett from Tamms after a description from police. Eyewitness Phillip Long could not positively identify Bennett. Bennett claims an alibi. investigators will verify it before determining connection to the murder of Rudolph Reichel.
Kewanee man 24 shoots his sweetheart 20 in Neponset then suicides in front yard of BE D Carpenter family. Anna Weingartz is taken to Keewanee hospital. No motive known though believed to be a marriage demand refused. both from Kewanee.
Belleville reports a steam pipe burst just as a cage with 12 miners began descent at the Little Coal mine. Engineer Sidney Rowland held the lever to stop the cage, enduring severe scalding as the crew reached the bottom. He faces extended incapacity from the injuries.
Arcola merchants will sweep in front of their shops daily to save the city expenses as aldermen report no funds for a street sweeper. A drowning victim near a Union Electric barge on Ashley street is identified as a 26 year old man from 2220 Howard Street, St. Louis, by a brother.
A man who gave his name Newton Knowles from Westfield Massachusetts was killed in the Hillsboro freight yards while attempting to jump a moving freight car. He was identified as a mechanic seeking work and appeared stranded at the time of the accident.
A Joliet blaze gutted the Evening Herald building with $19,000 in fire loss to structure and contents. Spontaneous combustion caused the fire. The O. B. Brush Printing Co on the second floor suffered $6,000 in damages, fully insured.
Names Board of Health member Dr. Charles A. Boswell of Mounds Pulaski County to replace Dr. James C. Sullivan of Cairo as term expires.
Deneen issues a requisition to the governor of Missouri to return Bonnie Graham to Hast St. Louis where she is under arrest in St. Louis.
Florence Gruner aged 15 was shot and fatally injured by her uncle Chicago butcher Gilbert Gruner after which he killed himself at their home. Police reported the deadly sequence as a domestic tragedy in a quiet Chicago neighborhood.
Fairfield Perry Young, a local farmer near this city, fell from a hay mow onto a pitch fork handle and is in critical condition.
Bloomington Pearl Armstrong a conductor on the Illinois Traction was killed here when struck by a car.
The cornerstone of a new Methodist Episcopal church was laid on Wednesday in Sycamore. The Oriental brick and Bedford stone structure is planned to cost $40,000. Cobden Postoffice Robbed by burglars who shattered the safe with nitroglycerin and fled after taking about $100 in stamps and coins, leaving $25 scattered.
Medina resident G W Winney urges kidney sufferers to write for a testimonial of Dean's Kidney Pills after doctors and two hospitals failed to relieve him for eighteen months. He claims weight gain from 143 to 162 after 10 to 12 boxes and calls the pills a cure. Sold by Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY at 50 cents a box.
A humorous exchange in which a speaker urges perseverance with the motto Stick to it while a younger person quips about removing a sheet of fly paper stuck to him. The Philadelphia Press quote frames a practical joke or wry dig at stubborn resolve.
An OCR fragment shows quoted lines about personal worldviews and value, attributed to Lowell and Socrates, alongside small ads for Lewis' Single Binder cigars and Lewis' Factory in Peoria. It reflects era-style ad copy mixing philosophy with commerce.
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