Wisecrack on vegetables and octogenarians
A child explains a vegetarian as a person who eats vegetables. The other boy, Eddie, misdefines an octogenarian as someone who knocks gelarians, delivering a playful misdirection in a humor exchange.
This is just the beginning! Our collection holds over 300 years of history, including rare newspapers, obituaries, marriage records, birth records, and so much more—most of which you won’t find anywhere else!
This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Paris Post
Location
Paris, Idaho, United States of America
Date
May 31, 1912
Page
7
A child explains a vegetarian as a person who eats vegetables. The other boy, Eddie, misdefines an octogenarian as someone who knocks gelarians, delivering a playful misdirection in a humor exchange.
Two children discuss a family party and a Bible line about wine, asking their mother for a little to ease their stomachs. The scene shows a curious exchange with the mother affirming biblical reference and the boys seeking relief.
A playful excerpt shows Little Florence crying from a toothache while her Christian Science aunt teases about faith. Nearby, Little Jefferson ponders origins and mischief, asking how he could be dust from earth yet come from heaven and if a woman could stand when he sits.
Storm centers move from the Mississippi Valley or Caribbean, making Atlantic predictions possible though warnings remain scarce for western Europe. Director Andre at Lyons Observatory studies galvanometer data from wireless stations to let storms telegraph warnings ahead of arrival. He has gathered electrical disturbances linked to storms and works to learn to read them.
Mrs. Mary W. Ramsey of Colorado Springs recounts a three week old son’s eczema and subsequent boils. After doctor treatment failed, she used Cuticura Soap and Ointment and notes dramatic improvement within days. She praises the remedies and offers free samples by mail from Boston.
Aunt Caroline reports meeting a ghost by the well and claims it spoke to her. The mistress of the house doubts ghosts while the exchange reveals a tense social moment and a hint of dialect humor in a Southern setting.
A miscellany of notes cites the Country Gentleman on genuine maple sugar flavor and critiques of commercial sugar. The column mentions road signs, a Garfield tea remedy oddly misdescribed, German silver composition, Mrs Winslow’s Syrup for teething, early gas lamps, spring changes, and a North Dakota man with a long toast.
Martha McCulloch Williams outlines fish recipes enhanced with milk eggs and paper bag cooking. Methods include fish custard timbales rissoles patties planked fish and layered creamed boiled fish, each baked or boiled in a greased bag with minimal water for flavorful results.
A 1911 article details a paper bag cooked dinner for women guests. It lists dishes including cantaloupe, roast quail, baked ham, celery, nuts, asparagus, mushrooms, spiced apples, bananas, short cake with foam sauce, claret punch, and coffee. The quail are bacon wrapped and bag cooked twenty five minutes. asparagus and mushrooms are prepared in buttered bags with lemon juice and cream.
Instructions for preparing sweetbread with mushrooms and tomatoes baked in a paper bag. Step by step, trim and dice ingredients, place breadcrumbs and thin bacon, season with sweet herbs, seal the bag, and broil for about twenty to twenty five minutes. A fancy method adds onion carrot ham thyme bay leaves and herbs before larding.
In Brooks’ Club London style, three or four mushrooms and two or three tomatoes are skinned and seeded. Add a dash of sherry, seal the bag, broil, then bake twenty five minutes. Thicken gravy with arrowroot and burnt sugar if desired. Remove items, strain juices, serve the hot gravy over the sweet bread.
Venice tempts travelers with moonlit strolls and sunset walks through old world lanes. The article notes canals, bridges, and carved doorways, plus St Mark’s Lion and St Theodore on Piazzetta columns, said to originate from Syria and built by a Lombard engineer, Varistian.
Six Chicago women form a club to share an electric vacuum cleaner, washing machine, two electric irons and a drying fan. Dues cover upkeep, about three cents a week. An initial fee equals the appliance price divided among six members. The group rotates the gear among neighbors with a boy delivering each time.
A New York dentist suggests nitrous oxide as a police interrogation substitute. He argues that gas anesthesia is the least dangerous option and would cause a suspect to answer truthfully during recovery, then fully realize what he said moments later.
A reflective line on life and cinema notes that meaning emerges at the movie’s conclusion, suggesting a viewer’s interpretation evolves as the narrative resolves. The voice muses about expression and the idea of speaking weighty thoughts, hinting at the craft of dialogue.
A playful note imagines Julius Caesar debating a river crossing and a modern toll. The speaker jokes about the Hudson River Tube and a seven cent fare as a humorous anachronism.
A cheeky classified note touts Allen's Foot Ease antiseptic powder as a shoe size amailer for dancing and breaking in new shoes. It offers samples and lists Allen 8 Olmsted Le Roy New York for response. A quip follows about a girl and a spendthrift fiancé.
The Paxton Toilet Co of Boston will mail a large trial box of Paxtine Antiseptic to any woman free upon request. The product is advertised as a delightful cleansing and germicidal toilet preparation.
A quirky sketch notes that perseverance yields mixed results and mocks a London boast while praising Scotch heaviness among British subjects. It frames Garfield-Tent-London as a healthy capital and hints at stubborn Reniece yielding to persuasion.
Manila plans to transform the bastion near Victoria Gate into a modern club by adding ten public tennis courts with baths lockers and reading rooms for city residents.
Howell asks about a new home while Powell calls it a flat failure noting fourteen percent of the egg is albumen in a quirky, fragmentary exchange.
In Sikeston Missouri Mrs Dewa Bethune recalls seven years of monthly illness with weakness, backache, and nervous strain. After using Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound she regained health, can do housework, garden, milk cows and entertain guests. Another testimonial from Murrayville Alabama Mrs Charles Moore credits the remedy for avoiding surgery and hospital care, returning to good health.
We want people to find what they are looking for at NewspaperArchive. We are confident that we have the newspapers that will increase the value of your family history or other historical research. With our 7-day free trial, you can view the documents you find for free.
People find the most success using advanced search. Try plugging in keywords, names, dates, and locations, and get matched with results from the entire collection of newspapers at NewspaperArchive!
You can also successfully find newspapers by these browse options. Explore our archives on your own!
Browse by location and discover newspapers from all across the world.
Browse by date and find publications for a specific day or era.
Browse old newspaper publications to find specific newspapers.