Kitchener’s Witty Reply to Landowner on Invasion Uniform
A landowner asked what uniform to wear if Germany invaded England. Kitchener replied that the suit to be buried in would be the one worn by a Home Guard member. The landowner then inquired about torpedo boat crews. Kitchener quipped they would be submarines.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kitchener
England
League
Spring Fever and Blood Purifier Tonic Guidance
The article advises that spring fatigue and pale, anemic conditions respond to a tonic blood purifier made from Blood root Golden Seal Stone root Queen's root Oregon Grape with glycerine. It notes Doctor Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery tablets or liquid, available at druggists for decades, plus weekly purges with Doctor Pierce's Pleasant Pellets May-apple aloe and jalap sold by druggists.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Pierce
Boschee's German Syrup Ad Push
An old advertisement touts Boschee's German Syrup as a fifty one year trusted remedy for coughs bronchitis and lung troubles. It claims it gives restful sleep easier morning expectoration and aids natural healing and health restoration. Made in America and sold for more than half a century by Ady.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Boschee
United States
Nature
America
Beard Keeps Soldiers Clean Shaven Despite Travel Curbs
A furloughed soldier from Camp Custer recounts a inspection where all men were clean shaven except one who kept a beard. He explains the beard grew because no barber shop was available on the road. The tale highlights wartime shortages affecting personal grooming.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Camp Custer
Freckles: New Treatment Promises Clear Complexion
An advertisement touts ethine-double strength cream to remove freckles with a nightly and morning application. It claims most freckles fade or vanish, with a money back guarantee if it fails to remove them.
A New Man
A playful exchange features a boy declaring he will be a new man not working as he grows up. Auntie jokes about becoming a new woman, while the child insists he will stay home and be a new papa. The humorous dialogue ends with the boy reaffirming his plan.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Auntie
Lemon skin whitening recipe from grocer ad
An old newspaper advertisement touts lemon juice mixed with orchard white to create a facial lotion. It claims to whiten skin, reduce freckles and redness, and smooth roughness, advising daily massage for dramatic results.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Adv
Proof. “So you think art can improve on nature?”
Witty exchange on creativity and perception frames a flourish about art surpassing nature, using the Easter egg as a clever example.
King of the Clouds Commands a Rain Storm
The King of the Clouds orders Nurse Fog and his mist grandchildren to produce a strong storm. Earthlings complain about persistent rain as the king defends his role and the rain drops vow to punish perceived insults with a powerful downpour.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
King of the Clouds
Nurse Fog
Nurse Frog
Clouds
Harbor board debate on buoy placement amendment
A new harbor board member in a seaside town proposed placing one buoy at the harbor entrance rather than two. He argued that two boys were too young for the responsible role, urging the amendment during the discussion led by Orsi.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Harbor Board
Orsi
Boy Returns Traveler’s Dime After Sandwich
A hungry traveler offers a dime for two sandwiches at a small station. A boy runs to buy one for himself and another for the traveler. The boy returns with one sandwich, and the traveler’s dime is returned as only one sandwich was left.
Nowaday Quotation Sketches in Moral Debate
An exchange contrasts a cynical politician with an honest man describing old age as God’s first labor. The dialogue hints at moral contrast and social critique without naming people or places.
She Wants Yarn and a Khaki Thread
A fragment describes Mary seeking yarn as white fleece and color notes. It mentions a lamb and a desire for khaki yarn with a playful tone. The text centers on fabric material and a nursery rhyme motif without further events.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mary
Adverse remarks and plans in a domestic scene
A scrapegoat scene shows Mr. Dubwaite praising a “stupid servant” while Mrs. Dubwaite endures blunders. Scribbler contemplates an historical novel about Benjamin Franklin, but worries reading too much will spoil the work. another exchange hints at a writer’s caution and humor.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Mr. Dubwaite
Scribbler
Benjamin Franken
Fisherman jokes about taking time off to catch a fish
A humorous dialogue on affording time away from work. One person asks if a trip is possible, the other replies uncertainty depends on catching a fish which would reduce the market bill. The exchange playfully ties leisure to economic impact.
Baby and Horse Tale Draws Reader’s Steady Gaze
A newborn or infant figure connects with a horse in a quiet scene. The story’s tone recalls rural life and gentle companionship through a brief domestic moment.
Fragmentary Lines Hint at Quiet Romance and Card Club
Patchy dialogue suggests a social setting where romantic interests linger and card games are less favored. The speakers reference someone named Dinks and note shifts in affection and leisure activities at the club and parlor. The mood hints at evolving relationships and domestic scenes.
Early bird, clever pups and patient plans
A humorous exchange shows a patient man testing fox names for a dog and a stern parent admonishing about the early worm. The son quips about the worm’s long wait for dinner, while the patient man considers various names.
Longfellow Quote Reflected In Thoughtful Life Lesson
A reflective musing on giving freely and valuing life’s big rewards when smaller pleasures are set aside. The text contrasts generosity with the weight of meaningful choices and the overall measure of living.
Downward Growth
A quirky exchange between a teacher and Johnny explores language roots and growth as words evolve. The dialogue hints at linguistic biology and how vocabulary expands from core roots.
Reliable Swamp-Root kidney medicine advertisement
For years druggists note Dr Kilmer s Swamp Root as a kidney liver and bladder remedy. It claims to support natural function and has a long testimony record. Order a sample by sending ten cents to Dr Kilmer Co Binghamton NY with mention of the paper. Windlesire.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
Kilmer
Dr. Elmer & Co
Binghamton, N. Y
Hall's Catarrh Remedy Adverts Ghost Language
An old advertisement touts Hall's Catarrh Medicine as a constitutional treatment for catarrh with claims of internal action and mucus relief. It promises testimonials and a $100 reward for any failing case and cites Cheasy & Co of Toledo, Ohio. The text closes with a remark about ghosts and dead languages.
MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE
TARAH
Cheasy &Co
Toledo
Ohio
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