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This newspaper page contains 28 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Paris Post
Location
Paris, Idaho, United States of America
Date
Dec 29, 1911
Page
6
A neighbor plans to buy a rival lawn mower after reading a ridiculous ad promising a flawless cut. The next day the man discovers the ad was planted by his wife, not by the owner, turning a simple appliance joke into a puzzle.
A Scotch minister unexpectedly visits a widow in a cottage on the village outskirts. The widow hides her washing and tells her boy she is out. The minister teases that next time she should take her feet with her when she goes down to the village.
The anecdote recalls Mark Twain being shaved by a chatty barber who, while preparing his razor, asks to retell tales. Twain declines, saying he can remember every word, joking about recalling every remark.
A football enthusiast says they must use star players yet fear losing one. The young bride agrees, comparing the risk to her prized teacups in a lighthearted exchange.
An unclear note notes a doctor declaring a death certificate signed by a colleague. The fragment references personal acceptance of the act and mentions a column or editor’s note perhaps accompanying the document.
A shabbily dressed man, about sixty five, visits a newly owned tobacconist each night for a pipe light. After a week the owner confronts him, and the man bursts with a simple greeting. I am the man who lights my pipe here every night.
In a speech last night a young speaker claimed to tell the truth to his audience while noting that political audiences often prefer stories over facts. The remark underscores a call for candor in public discourse.
In a parable on inheritance a father promises each child twenty thousand dollars a year to spare them from struggle and pursue their talents. One son dies from alcohol, another chases empty amusements, a daughter seeks social rank and faces multiple divorces, while the world notes that greatness cannot be inherited.
A Tin Can jury initially acquitted Hank Hoss of a charge of creating two mute. The judge criticized the panel and urged a reconsideration. After a brief retrial the jury returned with a guilty verdict, prompting a relieved judge to note a recent change on Garrectt Ave.
An intelligent looking lady explains to a gentleman that a new health fad cures ailments by not eating breakfast. She says it is popular in the east and she will try to obtain it. She admits she runs a boarding house and is not a physician.
A young woman advises a friend engaged to a spendthrift man to reform after marriage. The friend replies that reform is unlikely because he spends every penny he earns, and the woman confesses she benefits by spending on her fiancé.
A parent warns a son against playing football this season citing worry for his safety. The dialogue suggests a wish to keep him from danger while a promise to allow participation in the European war if he behaves.
The speaker humorously blends two distinct countries, Rococo and Morocco, despite claiming education from school and college. This light remark, attributed to Meggendorfer Blatter, shows a whimsical confusion of terms.
Spokane, Wash. William R. Miller of Glacier Creek Alaska writes to the Spokane county probate judge protesting the divorce granted to his wife Jane Miller a Spokane nurse on desertion and neglect charges. He claims lack of notice, cites $800 sent to support family, and details years of hardship including Yukon work, canal repairs, a daughter's death, and heart trouble delaying his return to family.
A miner appeals for a court to grant an interlocutory divorce ruling amid claims his wife sues for divorce. He cites 1898 to present devotion, warrants conspiracy, daughter’s loss, and a Seattle sale fallout affecting his half interest in mining claims. He vows wealth may restore their family.
A Delaware fox hunting party including Joseph Becker Edward Neher John M Hance and John B Traitt unearthed a fine fox near Newcastle. The hounds ran well then wheeled and pursued the fox as other dogs joined. After several miles the fox escaped when frightened Reynard fled the scene.
James H. Magee known as Old Mack, a recluse, was buried in Hopkins Missouri after dying this week. Born in 1820 in Ireland, he lived in New York and New Jersey, worked as a plasterer, and later as a contractor building Harvey eating-houses along the Santa Fe line. He had been revived once when believed dead in Burlington Iowa decades ago.
Cleveland police and Judge Levine examine whether John Grownest a 46 year old beggar is deaf or pretending after he writes with a pad to refuse speech. The court cannot decide and sends him to Warrenville farm with a 50 dollar fine and thirty days in the workhouse unless he speaks.
Montclair New Jersey pastor Dr Thomas Travis of Waterung Avenue Congregational Church completed a stone fence about 100 feet long and two feet thick on his new Home on Watchung Avenue. He did all the labor himself and is active in social work health and gardening as part of his public service.
Altoona street sweeper 8 B Tipton found a wrinkled paper he thought was ordinary, but it proved to be a recently executed Judgment exemption note for 1800 dollars.
Reform advocate promotes outdoor work programs for inmates as a means to rehabilitate prisoners. He argues such labor aids discipline, reduces recidivism, and builds productive habits outside confinement.
In Hagerstown Maryland Judge Keedy defended temperance members on the grand jury and condemned jurors who frequent saloons during court sessions. He stated that liquor use impairs judgment and disqualifies a juror from administering justice.
Miss Alta Scott a teacher in Gillette Wisconsin riding with a dog chased a coyote. The dog attacked first then Scott dismounted and hurled a heavy stone, subduing the animal. Her aim was steady enough to worry about hitting the dog unintentionally.
An English hotel guest, famed for his attire, asks a clerk to launder shirts with tight deadlines. After the first shirt is delivered on time, he demands a second by two o'clock. The clerk refuses, the man irately asks to see the proprietor, and the bell boy offers a third shirt as a solution.
A 1911 notice recounts two patient experiences of scalp eczema and hair loss cured by Cuticura Soap and Ointment. C D Thartrington of Creek, North Carolina, reports three years of itching and a complete recovery after two months of use. Samuel Stern of Brooklyn, New York, describes bald spots and crusts resolving with Cuticura products and recommends them. Free samples and a 32 page booklet are offered by mail from Boston.
A brief exchange features Mr Keyne asking about short term bonds. Mr Henpeck responds with a preference for Government bonds and matrimonial bonds, highlighting a humorous contrast between finance and marriage.
Fragmentary dialogue recalls a man claiming to have married inside a cage of wildcats and seeking to revisit the scene amid uncertainty over a missing wife. The odd exchange hints at a sensational incident or crime scene in a historic period newspaper.
A note depicts a wave of girls seeking entry to France’s military academy challenging traditional gender roles. The piece humorously contrasts changing fashions and roles with a nod to tonic claims, suggesting social upheaval and evolving expectations for women.
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