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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Paris Post
Location
Paris, Idaho, United States of America
Date
Apr 26, 1912
Page
7
A rustic dialogue depicts a farmer and a parson trading jabs about Silas Corntassle’s daughter. The semi comic exchange labels the daughter as pretty yet morally questioned, contrasting beauty with behavior.
In a humorous exchange a builder of fireproof structures explains he cannot ask Patterson for his daughter because he is an insurance agent. The banter contrasts fireproof construction with fire insurance.
An anxious old woman voices worry as a deckhand jokes that the boat is a "leaky old tub" and may be sinking or rising, underscoring the perilous voyage.
A comical OCR snippet shows a conductor refusing to seat a passenger who insists the traveler is his wife. The exchange highlights class and etiquette humor with a mistaken identity gag.
A real estate agent notes an unusually healthy suburb while a woman declines signing a lease citing her husband, a doctor, in Louisville. The brief quotation highlights a cautious rental negotiation in a suburban housing market.
A brief dialogue joke features a doctor and speaker discussing medical practice. The throat specialist quips that he only sees patients’ heads and shoulders, implying a focus on upper body. The line plays on a play on words and headlines a humor piece.
In a brief courtroom exchange the judge notes the prisoner appears exhilarated and asks what he has been drinking. The policeman questions the claim as the prisoner insists he has been taking oxygen, but the remark trails off.
Mrs Pozozzle urges her husband to attend Sothern and Marlowe in Rep ertoire next week after hearing much about the production cited by the Kansas City Star.
A fragmented column notes Garfield Tea is described as composed of harmless health herbs. It quips about economy and popularity and includes garbled dialog about kisses and house exits. The piece references Potash-Cohen and Potash-Heneffer and jokes about government forms and suffrage.
Supreme Court Justice Mareau dismissed Samuel Markowitz's suit seeking to annul his marriage to Mildred Markowitz. He called the framing of the issues absurd and noted the plaintiff asked for an annulment because she refused to kiss him. Mildred was eighteen at marriage. Markowitz reportedly had four prior wives, two dead and two divorced.
Jacob visits his friend after learning of his marriage and quietly notes the bride is not attractive. Joseph confirms she has a glass eye and no teeth but will get a set next week, and Jacob adds she is almost bald and deaf as well.
New York reports detail the Titanic disaster on her maiden voyage from Southampton to New York. Survivors tell of heroism by men who sacrificed chances of survival to save women and children. The Carpathia rescued 745 aboard as the total lives lost reached 1601 with Captain Smith among the perished.
J Bruce Ismay issues a statement Sunday night denying involvement in Titanic navigation and any discussion with the captain about the vessel’s conduct. He says he did not sit at the captain’s table or dine with him, was in bed at the time of the collision, and had no plan to return to Europe to dodge investigations.
Major A C Peachen of Toronto saved only a pin from his cabin as he left the Titanic’s box of valuables. He abandoned the money and jewels, choosing three oranges instead, calling the lost fortune a mockery in the moment. Marion Wright of Somerset England arrived in New York to meet her fiancé Arthur Woolcott of Cottage Grove Oregon after surviving the disaster.
Mrs Ava Willing Astor mother of Vincent Astor, will sail to New York at the earliest possible moment to be with her son.
A hydrographic statement says Titanic did follow the spring northern lane and not the southern route. In New York two children recount Captain Smith remaining on the bridge to aid a child as the ship sank, dying alongside a sailor while a girl perished with him.
The farmer notes that roadside dust from automobiles keeps plants free of aphids while costly powders fail. An experiment coating turnips peas and cabbages with ordinary dust showed parasites disappear, suggesting dust can substitute for expensive insecticides and teach economy.
An English scientist argues that as mental progress rises, tooth development laxens across western nations. He claims brain growth comes at the expense of dental health in humans, apes, and Africans, with increased cunning reducing tooth work and blood demand causing digestive issues.
A short humorous dialogue features a city boy testing Uncle Josh with a question about brothers and ends with a surprising answer. Also promotional copy touts Paxtine Antiseptic toothpaste and a brief joke about homemade fudge and candy dates in a weekly column style.
An advertisement promotes Allen's Foot Ease antiseptic powder to reduce shoe size by one for comfort. It claims it helps break in shoes and prevents foot odor. The copy lists Allen & Olmsted of Le Roy, New York, as the address.
A fragment discusses gender and social expectations, cautioning a man to consider others in the world. It critiques health trends and promotes Garfield Tea as a purifying laxative, while noting the American husband’s luck in not needing to buy hair for a harem.
Suffering women praise Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for relief from female ailments. Testimonies from Mrs Henry Leiseberg in Elgin Illinois and Mrs G B Wheftington in Kearneysville West Virginia describe restored health after use. The Pinkham company in Lynn Massachusetts notes thousands of grateful letters and offers confidential guidance.
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