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Newspaper
Panguitch Progress
Location
Panguitch, Utah, United States of America
Date
Jun 27, 1913
Page
2
A collection of humorous observations and curious notes from a 1920s urban press. Items include odd crimes, fashion quirks, humorous quotes, and social commentary on manners, wealth, and daily life in cities like New York and Chicago, with brief mentions of readers’ humor and local curiosities.
A garbled archival snippet cites the Philadelphia Record quoting a line about “Walls have ears” and references a pistol and a chafing dish. The passage appears to be a fragmented newspaper item with odd phrasing and hurried dialogue, likely a rail of text from a broader feature.
Chief Justice Nsaace Russell of the court of special sessions visited City Hall on a rainy day to call on the mayor. As he left, he slipped and tumbled down the steps. A passerby helped him up. the judge said his honor remains intact though his spine seems jarred.
After a loss to the Yankees Irvin Cobb the humorist asked Frank Chance for a surprise treat. Chance answered lightheartedly that Cobb could share it with the team, and Cobb invited them over to see third base.
Lord Redesdale told the King Edward memorial fund committee that country grass withers in London while London grown seeds flourish. He called it a striking example of adaptation to environment as discussions considered laying out Shadwell market site as a pleasure garden.
The author debates whether womanliness can be lost amid debates on desexing. Weintinger notes that there are people anatomically male but psychically female, yet no one is anatomically female and psychically male. Masculine appearance does not erase feminine psychic qualities, as Mr Wolninger states.
A Chicago man claims digestive relief and renewed appetite after using Grape-Nuts for years of poor digestion. He says after four packages his stomach is right and he can eat anything. the product is promoted by Postum Co. with the slogan There’s a reason and references to The Road to Wellville.
A temperance lecturer fills a room by displaying two geraniums, one watered normally and the other dosed with alcohol, to show the plant’s decline. A spectator quips that he would stick to water if he were a geranium, while a joke about burglar alarms follows with a punchline about thieves saying it is me.
A brief, pointed exchange between Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Jones centers on tact at a social dinner. Jones suggests Smith would a discuss theology if a lawyer attended, highlighting a lively, witty interchange typical of household notices.
When William ate at his Aunt Marie's home he enjoyed the dessert and asked what it was. The aunt replied it was soot pudding and he remarked that all the soot at their house is black.
A satirical note comments on Mrs Tinkle and Mrs Neaurich growing popularity and mortification over a husband owning railroad stock, reflecting social theater of scandal and public perception.
A playful dialogue frames hope as a lighter, cheaper force than fate or fortune. Howard and Helen discuss thoughts and happiness, the contrast with life’s grimness softened by shared optimism. The judge’s voice adds a crisp, ironic tease about hope as a human refuge.
A speaker argues naming a son John to simplify the city directory, opposing fancy names that echo extravagant holidays or luxury housing. The exchange frames naming as a practical, level minded choice over grandiose appellations.
A garbled line from an old newspaper page hints at a controversial scientific proposition to eliminate a group named dlota. The remark suggests consequences of overreach, hinting at harm and a chaotic outcome.
In conversation, Miss Cayenne suggests Steggins wrote an elaborate sarcastic letter to mock a perceived slight. She speculates he may have hired a new stenographer to show off, noting the tone and behavior hint at an intentional display.
A witty exchange contrasts an old gent who boasted of being seventy years young with a modern sprite who dances the tango. A joke about real estate warns against investing in earthquake country, noting it is all subject to ground rents.
A sharp exchange reveals a scornful taunt about marrying for wealth. A woman dismisses prospects unless the other party has substantial funds, suggesting money as the key motive for marriage.
A terse exchange has a young man seeking counsel on marriage suitability and a lawyer bluntly declines, demanding five dollars as payment. The scene centers on wit and social satire, highlighting financial barbs in a domestic vignette.
Hobbe reports a widow's sharp reply when asked about encouragement after her husband’s death. She says he has been dead long enough, reflecting a dry, ironic reaction to the inquiry.
A fragment from a judge's remark recalls a whispered kiss at the gate described by a woman as part of a past romance. The exchange centers on a secret held by the speaker and the lover's reiteration.
A judge sits as a key witness faces cross examination in a courtroom drama. The lady's maid testifies she was in the mistress's room at seven, dressing hair, amid tense questions about the mistress's presence. The barrister presses for precise answers in a high stakes scene sourced from the Argonaut.
A couple on their Scarborough honeymoon are urged to visit the cemetery before leaving. They plan to go but forget, and the wife reminds her husband George that the cemetery was not yet seen. He replies that he desires the pleasure in the future. Pearson's.
A lighthearted exchange plays on a wife hunting outfits and a husband suggesting a stage role. The flirtatious banter hints at humor and social habits without revealing concrete events or locations.
An old hunter tells his son that some clients want to see real bears while others only want bear tracks. He counsels that if clients are satisfied with tracks, the son should not try to show them a live bear.
A speaker derides another’s dog as less valuable, noting the animal scratches in cheap dirt while implying it could be in more valuable surroundings. The exchange centers on perceived worth and status with humorous contrast.
A hostess urges a young woman named Clara to sing at a social gathering, and Clara responds she will try to sing. The exchange captures a quiet moment of performance pressure and social etiquette.
Outs. notes Bella and Ermentrude are not on friendly terms. The two girls are described as sixty mad at each other, furious at having to share the same telephone system.
A humorous sketch centers on Maggie and Chimmle arguing over suffrage and who would transport Maggie to the polls. Maggie insists on votes for women, while Chimmle jokes about a burg wagon to take her to the polling place.
A Central Park West boy and a neighbor girl play evenings. The girl calls him to come out, but he tells his mother he cannot go over because he must bathe. He then says he thinks the rest need not be called.
Sam Marcus of Lowell Place Chicago describes severe eczema on hands lasting two years. He used Cuticura Soap and Ointment with warm water, applying twice daily for about five or six months, and was cured. The ad notes Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold worldwide and offers free samples with the 32 page Skin Book.
In a tale from the Saturday Evening Post, James C McReynolds, who helped investigate the tobacco trust for the government, recounts practicing law in a Tennessee town. A neighbor sued for ten thousand dollars after being called a hippopotamus, a remark misunderstood as a compliment until a circus passed through town.
A Washington scientist and avid natural history student captured a fine beetle and pinned it with a diamond scarfpin. On returning to the library the beetle escaped, flew out the window with the pin gleaming on its back, and neither the beetle nor the pin has been seen since.
A compact meditation urges choosing joy today and bearing trials with patience. It notes we are dead to yesterday and unborn to tomorrow, urging focus on present blessings and endure hardship gracefully. The quote by Jeremy Taylor reflects stoic restraint and daily mindfulness.
In a casual office exchange, residents discuss affordability and reveal plans to install new street numbers on houses along their block. O Beettle explains arrangements are underway to update address numerals.
Excerpt shows a conversational fragment with lines about belief in success and a reply that suggests inexperience. The text appears as an incomplete quotation with truncated phrases and missing context.
In a Pittsburgh Chronicle Telegraph item, a group of boys play near a dangerous edge when an old onlooker suddenly cuffs one youth. He explains his action by saying he cannot stand the uncertainty, even though he does not care if they fall.
A fragment notes a man described as a hot art artist who is said to act as an advertising agent for a new furnace. The quotation hints at a local personality shaping the sales pitch.
A brief note describes a chance encounter or missed chance as someone left home and neighbors were nearby. The tone hints at an informal, casual moment with potential implications for plans or introductions.
Pentwater Michigan resident Mrs Alice Darling says a year of severe back pain and immobility improved after taking Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Another Peoria Illinois woman Miss Cuara L Gawwitz reports relief from chronic backache dull headaches and heavy side pain after use. Such letters claim the remedy’s value for women’s ills and invite others to try it.
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