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Newspaper
Panguitch Progress
Location
Panguitch, Utah, United States of America
Date
Jun 13, 1913
Page
2
A ribbing collection from Panguitch Utah readers includes spoof headlines on simplified spelling at Harvard, outfits for hats, tea prices, vacations, and local curiosities. The column mocks travel, politics, fashion, and journalism with light quips and stray anecdotes about sausage, shipbuilding, bicycles, and Paris police.
A series of brief lines depict quirky exchanges among townsfolk. Bunkeed humor and a farmer’s chat with a policeman mix with playful jabs at a failed manuscript and a nervous telephone operator who quits after a formal introduction.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer item relays Hon James Yates Mellen speaking with a colored man about church attendance and election doctrine highlighting unexpected political candidacy context and social dynamics in a humorous exchange.
Prof Clothier of the University of Arizona discusses the tepary bean as a new dry farming crop from Papago Indian sources. Across three years, tepary beans averaged 473 pounds per acre, with later rains boosting total to 775 pounds. Pink and other beans yielded far less under similar conditions.
A brief vintage exchange shows a salesman guiding a customer through carpet remnants in a flat setting. The dialogue frames a shop interaction with directions to find remnants.
A collage of wry quips and headlines from a late era humor column. Pieces reference infants with glasses, a missing name for a child, rope walking with a hobble, and observations on aging policing. The tone blends irony about society and daily life with playful wordplay.
A fragmentary exchange features a lover addressing his sweetheart about “your father” with a suggested uplift in the town. The faltering reply from the fair girl mentions Harold and a concern that someone may have been trying something inappropriate.
A playful exchange questions animacy of common tableware. A dish and a cup are used in a whimsical dialogue about talking and running away. The piece presents light humor and kitchen imagery.
A Yale Record piece notes a neighbor who claims to paint on an empty stomach, described as a true Bohemian. The quick retort confirms the neighbor is a tattoo artist, adding local color to campus humor.
A fragmentary excerpt presents a traveler asking when a ferry runs and an elder replying with a quaint cadence about ships bell signals and timings. The rustic exchange evokes maritime life and a bygone timetable practice without modern precision.
A brief satirical note on spring's impact as writers boast of editors accepting submissions. De Rhimmes quips editors become careless in warm weather, hinting at seasonal laxity in magazine publishing.
A fragmented dialogue piece discusses a yound salesgirl at a local department store waking for work and a philosopher’s quip about gender norms. The conversation touches on sleep deprivation and a man’s expectation of women’s behavior, ending with a remark on how a woman acting “like a man” could be judged differently.
A terse courtroom exchange highlights the judge questioning weighing with or without a coat. Mike claims innocence and insists he did not weigh. Pat argues about attire. The dialogue veers to a joke about a well dressed thief, ending with a pun about taking offense rather than goods.
Percy asks if his mother would object to visiting Evelyn. Evelyn replies she has no objections since her mother believes there is no likelihood of Percy proposing.
A mother debates keeping a new cook who boasts about a bright bread rise. The aide claims yeast causes fermentation but denies scientific knowledge, leaving the house split over trust and competence.
Sea creatures such as salt water mussels and oysters show remarkable longevity with ages comparable to ancient trees. Sea anemones may live long, though their life spans are uncertain. Sir John Dalyell noted a liver-colored sea anemone in Edinburgh that lasted seven years before dying in 1887 after a period of vitality.
A Downey California mother describes an eight year old boy with ringworm spreading from a small purple blister on the shoulder to the neck. Red swollen itchy sores caused sleepless nights until Cuticura Soap and Ointment were used, curing in a month. The husband also uses the products for scratched hands. Signed Mrs Harry West April 6 1912. Cuticura Soap and Ointment advertised worldwide with sample offer from Boston.
Beginners in the poultry business neglect stock when not yielding profits and fail to foresee future consequences. Success requires constant care, good feeding, and fresh water from hatchling to laying. The advice emphasizes steady management and the need for strong equipment to lift heavy loads.
A garbled dialogue scene presents a lecture on ism and pain with a crutch-wielding entrant. A quip about rheumatism follows, while stray items reference a teething syrup and a proverb on life spent in self-reflection, concluding with a remark about deaf mutes.
A series of testimonial letters from women in Kansas and Montana praise Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for relief from backache headaches dizziness nervousness and irregularity. The letters claim cures and recommend the remedy to others, reflecting early 20th century health advertising.
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