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Newspaper
Panguitch Progress
Location
Panguitch, Utah, United States of America
Date
Dec 19, 1913
Page
3
A lighthearted scene unfolds as a young officer Robert Peeler-Captain seeks favor with a nursemaid and her child in a sunny park. She playfully rebuffs his advances noting discipline and grooming, while he ponders his next move on his beat.
The Professor asks if gold can be extracted from seawater while The Prosperous Friend laughs, claiming he knows it after running a seaside hotel. The dialogue frames a skeptical, clever exchange about unlikely chemical sources and practical enterprise.
A poem fragment recalls a summer on a farm with praise for land and disappointment in hired help. The speaker notes the hired man failed to yodel and the milkmaid proved a fright, capturing rural life’s rough charm.
A choleric gentleman waiting for a train enters a barber shop and pressures the barber with noisy, deliberate movements. The barber holds the brush and the shaved man snaps at the process, shouting for stillness as he wiggles his head.
Thoughtlean Thunderbolt jokes about a lightning struck telephone pole delaying Ella Brinkley for nearly an hour while neighbors comment on the outage. George complains about service as a neighborly quarrel erupts over the disruption.
A short, humorous exchange shows a wife referencing their wedding anniversary and a plan to celebrate with flowers, while the husband jokes about bringing home “emburger cheese” instead. The fragment hints at domestic humor and a playful couple dynamic.
In a brief exchange a speaker mentions considering using soap and water but worries about skin safety. The dialogue features a cautious tone as one character notes the difficulty in selecting a non injurious soap amidst many choices. The mother figure questions the habit with practical concern.
In a terse exchange Dusty Rhodes tells Mrs Goodhart he did not look for work because he was ill. The dialogue shows concern over unemployment and health as factors in job seeking.
A mermaid captivates with a winsome smile and graceful form though she has never walked a mile. Her promise lies in swift swimming and aquatic charm.
A fragment shows a person vexed by an ongoing demand to commit to engagements. They acknowledge the obligation and describe how one engagement is unavoidable, describing the tension between desire and duty.
An observation on how people elevate a figure as a national institution while others dismiss the praise as mere bait to provoke reaction. The text contrasts genuine acclaim with cynical manipulation in public dialogue.
At a New York banquet a story praised honest labor. Two street sweepers recall a dead comrade, noting he was a good worker but perhaps a bit weak around lampposts, illustrating pride in one’s craft.
A humorous retelling questions the devil tempting Eve. Liteleigh is imagined in playful form. The dialogue imagines a different animal guise an approach would have changed Adam and the apple outcome.
The dialogue shows Tam asking for a smaller, neater pattern and a compact square for a bird cage. Sandam replies they could procure more stock from their factory.
A domestic scene frames a suffragette debate as a father advises progress from small beginnings. The exchange questions what suffragettes want and nudges a practical first step in the dining room.
A traveler finds the ticket office still open though others are blocked. He learns a girl ahead of him bought a ticket, proving the window remains functional despite the disruption.
An elderly speaker laments his cat care lacking amusement features and back fence enrichment. The dialogue contrasts claimed good food and sleeping quarters with feline unhappiness, highlighting an overlooked need for outdoor or interactive enrichment.
A speaker remarks on building “a beautiful house for my son” and is teased as crafting an heir castle. The exchange frames a proposed home as a dynastic project.
A verse fragment mocks a dainty girl forced to chew rough celery. The piece mentions a cat experiment that killed one life and left its organs alive, prompting satire on scientific ethics and the absurdity of the claim.
A summer boarder remarks most vegetables are canned. Farmer Corntessel counters with humor asking for the can opener, implying a mixed approach to gardening and produce. The exchange underscores access to fresh produce and practical frustrations with preserving garden yields.
A brief dialogue recalls a graduation event and discusses Irene's graduation essay. The speaker notes the essay did not fit Irene well over the hips, reflecting casual commentary on appearance in a school setting.
In the report a supposed diamond dealer who escaped scrutiny is labeled a fence. The text hints that whitewashing his role may explain the lenient treatment during the investigation.
A humorous quip about a lady archer wearing a red hat entering a pasture and risks hitting the bull's eye, playing on words to tease precision and flair.
In a clipped dialogue Mamie asserts she is well natured and hates to refuse a man, while Katie counters that such behavior is not kindness but desperation, reflecting tension over manners and expectations.
A stern mother asks a young man about his serious intentions toward her daughter. The daughter protests, insisting he is not the right match. The exchange captures a tense family moment in a domestic scene.
In a furnace room scene the janitor admonishes Nels about purchasing on credit. He mocks fashion, promotes spending to create status, and boasts of savings and debt avoidance while claiming to wear diamonds and own a phonograph when able. He claims credit drives desire and advises drastic choices if debt looms.
An old driver on Crawfordsville Pike persuades his recalcitrant horse Sam to move by withholding and then offering a stolen sugar cube. The scene unfolds with the driver lecturing about debt and thrift while the horse resists before lurching toward town.
Mrs. Caroline Earle White recalls how Matthew Arnold amused Johnnie Coleridge, a four year old friend of Stephen Coleridge. The poet treated the boy as his horse and sent fairy tale books with affectionate inscriptions.
A fragmented OCR excerpt lists Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup teething remedy and Dean's Mentholated Cough Drops, plus a shoe powder, all cited in stray ad-like lines and quote fragments, with scattered dialogue from Puck.
Ad copy touts Ho moenta a syrup for catarrh headaches and multiple ailments. Claims include immediate head opening, six minute headache cure, and permanent relief for catarrh throat stomach bronchitis and colds. Available from New York Drug Concern by mail for 60 cents.
In Pittsburgh a wealthy man with an $8 million car faced a crisis as a woman he knew fired a shot from a hotel, missing him but striking the chauffeur in the leg. He quipped that the attempt could have punctured a tire, calling it a narrow escape.
A suffragette speaker mocked husbands for domestic chores, challenging any man to prove daily contributions without complaint. The anecdote notes a husband in the room who didn’t dare stand up, refraining from defending himself.
Young Van Windle waits in the parlor for Julia. After half an hour a maid named Marie appears with a smirk, saying it’s not Julia’s mind she’s making up, but something else.
In a Vanapolla Star excerpt, Blniack allegedly left California not by choice but due to refusing to boast about the climate. The piece frames the departure as coerced, hinting at political motives and media dynamics.
A humorous exchange features a mother asking about her boy’s pants and the reply that furniture polish is the source, revealing the child polishes the banisters. The line highlights a playful domestic moment with lighthearted wit.
A playful exchange notes a misread cue in a sports context and reflects on a boy learning good habits by avoiding his father’s path. The dialogue hints at humorous misinterpretations and the value of following wise examples.
A testimonial from a man who recovered health after switching to Grape-Nuts and Postum at Battle Creek. He describes lifting stomach trouble, easing nervous strain from long hours, and gaining energy to work all day and study at night. The letter touts improved appetite, nerves, and body-brain vitality.
A humorous dialogue from Harper's Magazine features Harold blamed for missing a Sunday school dance and a mine outing. The reverend praises the father, who explains he would not let the boy go because there wasn’t enough to share for two.
A teacher distraught by a pupil Willie’s odor sends him home for a bath. The next day Willie returns with a note from his father insisting Willie isn’t a geranium and should not be smelled, highlighting a humorous misunderstanding of Willy’s condition.
Aureka, BM Ivo claims to have devised a phonograph attachment for an office telephone that will speak in his voice when the phone rings. The device is said to deliver a message like Yes, Mary, I’m still here, Now don’t bother me, for I’m busy, Good-bye.
A jumble of gibes and gaffes from several papers sketches social misfires. A wife plans to shop and attend church while a husband jokes about Sunday closures. A cafe scandal and nuptial quips punctuate a mosaic of lighthearted remarks and misunderstandings.
A fragmentary newspaper flavor shows a studio visit with a post impressionist work described as among the best. A master explains a color palette, while readers recall quips about barber visits, family mischief, and a gymnastic stunt at a club.
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