10 Jan 1896
Page 1
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This newspaper page contains 25 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Oak Park Vindicator
Location
Oak Park, Illinois, United States of America
Date
Jan 10, 1896
Page
1
A compilation of satirical quips on politics culture and war from a turn of the century column. References include John L Sullivan Chicago Open Board of Trade Armenians and the New York Grant monument with wry remarks about American,British,and Russian powers and public figures.
In McClure Kansas Mr G Green while intoxicated swore out a warrant against himself was arraigned pleaded guilty paid his fine and went home very happy.
The speaker accuses England of intending to wield power to financially embarrass the United States while asserting Americans can endure with modest resources if England trims back its demands and avoids special provisions to eat.
A college football player reveals a telegram showing students and faculty at a northwest state university offered him payment to pretend as a student and join the team. The speaker questions whether reform must start with university faculties to curb the football fever.
The piece ponders reckless acts by prominent figures. It cites Higginson’s Boston wife eloping with a younger man leaving children and wealth, then Charles W. Deering leaving a life of luxury to join the army. It questions how such moves could be justified by any intelligent reasoning.
A noted U S critic calls Von Holst constitutional history chiefly useful to counteract excessive patriotism. The writer wonders if this explains why the University of Chicago retains him. He warns the president to limit Gen Miles from coast defense remarks or risk long denials about a presidential bid.
The former Benedict Arnold country seat in Fairmount Park Philadelphia, a grand 18th century mansion, is now a dairy cafe run by lessees. Arnold lived there for years after its 1776 sale, later seized in 1780, and the property passed through several owners before the city acquired it in 1868.
A New York World joke short tale features a peddler pressing a shopper with small wares. The brisk exchange ends as the woman rejects offers, mocks suspenders, and quips about hypnotism keeping her bloomers up.
Two travelers recall thefts abroad and in America. One says native thieves stole his sheets while he slept in India. The other notes a room with four real estate agents where a porous plaster was stolen from his back without waking him.
A collage of jokes and light exchanges from Boston Minneapolis New York Indianapolis Philadelphia Detroit and Roxbury pages. Quips cover fishing pond fish ball bearings novel salespeople horses and church choirs with quick one liners and punchy punchlines.
Bronze buttons are used on nastur titum velvet bodices adding metallic detail to the decorative garments.
A New York report describes electric cooking devices transforming kitchens. A table houses heat generators with beneath it multiple ovens and a back shelf, all regulated by a keyboard. Wires are insulated with green silk and connected to copper posts, similar to telegraph wiring.
The Lancet urges proper cistern maintenance to prevent contamination and vermin, criticizing attic tanks with makeshift covers. It then extols the electrical stove for home cooking, noting independent heat units, mobility of pots, reduced coal dust, and a parlor like kitchen atmosphere.
The article praises Alma-Tadema as having a uniquely luxurious home with a wall paneled by tall, slim pictures by different painters including Leighton and Calderon. It notes an oak and ivory piano with the inscribed names of the artists inside the lid.
Dr. Albert Shaw told a New York City legislative committee that limited street franchises should be auctioned to the highest bidder. He cited New Orleans selling an electric streetcar franchise for 700000 and argued that European cities seek suburban development with complex transit to move large urban populations.
Northwood entrepreneur tales recount a small-town paper, the Headlight, touting a bold boil hell plan. The office burned to foundations after the announcement, prompting Major A W Edwards to quip the editor’s stove overheated and the idea tinned over.
In Birmingham city center rats flood sewers causing extensive property damage. Reported a single location where 360 rats were captured in one day highlighting the scale of the infestation.
An early 20th century note covers body hair counts and a quip by Joseph Chamberlain about a postage stamp. It also reports Eden Park Cincinnati’s water works tower reaching 552 feet up, and notes a Lebanon County teacher arrested for ear injury to a student. It mentions Thomas Edison's hearing allegedly damaged by a blow in youth.
Esperanto and Volapuk, artificial universal languages, attract adherents in France Russia Germany England Norway Sweden Italy Spain the United States and parts of Africa. Prominent proponents like D Eyssautier and Dr Zamenhof promote easy grammar with simple root rules and endings for nouns adjectives and verbs.
A 200 pound doe deer wandered near the water works on Marian avenue before vaulting a barb fence and crossing tracks toward Excelsior Spring woods. It spent about twenty minutes at the wood edge then vanished inside the forest under protection of the game law.
A Chicago Tribune quote features a young Full back denying risks in football. He dismisses reports of injuries as exaggerations, recounting minor incidents like a black eye and dislocated fingers while noting extensive experience across a dozen games.
John Smith of New York, a recent Riggs house guest, notes that one in a hundred share his name. He uses tiny postage stamp photos on business cards and enclosures, stamping envelopes to ensure mail goes to him. Visitors to his scheme say it has worked well for a month.
A Sanilac county grower showed perhaps the state’s largest ear of corn. It had twenty two rows to the ear and forty kernels per row for 880 kernels in all, enough to fill a quart when shelled, with stalks reaching sixteen feet high in the field.
Portrait recalls John Carmitchel born 1842 in Ayrshire Scotland. He sailed to America 1853, fought for the Union in Ninth Pennsylvania Cavalry. Now resident of Mount Carmel with wife Sarah Ann Leiby, 20 children, he worked in mines 30 years and awaits pension on health grounds.
The St. Louis cyclist Date Cabanne, famed as a bicycle record breaker, also excels in swimming sprinting boxing and wrestling. At 20 he claimed the Western Association allround championship in 1889 and lists records in one mile two miles three miles and five miles with detailed measurements and training notes. He credits simple cycling routines and moderate beer use, asserting American cyclists outperform older European rivals.
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