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This newspaper page contains 9 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newton Record
Location
Newton, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Oct 18, 1895
Page
9
A mosaic of quirky quips and snippets from comic dialogue and satirical asides. The piece stitches jokes about lawyers, detectives, prize fights, and everyday life with punchy one liners. Names and places drift by in a lively collage reflecting a bustling urban newspaper humor column.
From the Livening News Newark New Jersey a woman years ago suffered scarlet fever which left a back ailment. After failed surgery and long pain she used Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People and recovered. She praises the pills for curing years of pain and maintaining health posting they build up nerves and aid female troubles.
A mixed clipping on advertising advice and travel notes references printers ads, a Denver trip via Chicago Burlington & Quincy, a Hall name claim for catarrh cure, and promotional maps for Burlington Route. It includes a claim by F J Cheney and assorted quotes about advertising media and travel. The piece also mentions E Locewood Kansas City and Ozark fruit books.
Hoar, a young congressman, endured a painful clash with a Congo worker at the house washroom. The clash began as a practical joke by a page, ended with Hoar’s attacker realizing his error and seeking forgiveness, while Hoar avoided further exposure in the public washroom.
This guide explains a Portland cement and Ked sand mix for areaways and walks. Use one part cement to three parts clean sand, free of earth and vegetation. Wet quickly to stiff mortar, apply at once, let dry for hours to days, then add an outer coat with equal sand mix for smooth finish. Dry thoroughly before winter.
A collage of world facts notes Norway and Sweden briefly united under one king since 1814 with current separation demands, a France bank cellar shipping silver in large barrels, Congo railroad progress at 25 of 93 miles, and population densities of Europe versus the U.S. An etymology claim on Japan links to a Chinese word meaning sun, while Europe and the United States would fit in Siberia. Malta sees bees as a rheumatism cure via inoculation, and Crawford County Pennsylvania reports a hull of a vessel eighty feet by twenty five built with Norse and Phoenician cues.
A patchwork of 19th century notes, sermons, travel ads, and oblique quotes appears from a Methodist convention page. It blends revival anecdotes, itineraries to Helena and Spokane, medical tonics, political mentions, and stray commentary on figures like Lord Roseberry and Senator Edmunds, captured in disjointed OCR snippets.
In a wry exchange a man estimates Arabella's complexion by freckles, claiming 61 freckles cost him 53.29 dollars each after studying her face for 20 minutes. A third party confirms eight yes votes in the discussion of expenses. The banter reveals a humorous take on vanity and spending at a seaside retreat.
Fragmentary OCR notes describe a young child with affectionate phrases and a mention of Friday. The text shows garbled words and incomplete sentences, offering little concrete context or clear events.
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