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Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Sep 24, 1908
Page
3
Ww. Wi Condr 8. P. Ry. Ti Van Ness of San Antonio Texas writes that in 1002 he suffered night sweats deep cough and head and chest pains from catarrh. He tried remedies before Peruna and after a thorough course his alarming symptoms vanished and his health improved. he has used Peruna again to cure colds.
A United States study on illiteracy shows Iowa with 23 illiterates per thousand, Louisiana at 385. No state with compulsory education exceeds 84 per thousand, while the eighteen states lacking compulsory laws range from 111 to 385 per thousand.
A brief London Telegraph quip depicts a barber teasing a bald customer and a squinting reply. The exchange highlights humor in everyday barber shop banter and social nerves.
Mrs Struckoyle defends her son's posture amid a caller's remark. She asserts his legs are straight like others, rebuffing the compliment and offering a sharp retort in a frostily tense exchange.
Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands favored skating and riding as her favorite amusements in adulthood, while in childhood her caretaker or keeper tended poultry.
The diarist Hearne recounts a period in which youth were compelled to smoke. He recalls Tom Rogers, a yeoman beadle, saying Eton pupils were made to smoke every morning during the plague year and that Rogers faced severe whipping for not smoking.
The best authority identifies C. B. Eddy, a Providence Rh I banker's clerk, as the country's most dressed man. Eddy reportedly owns about fifty suits, with a salt for nearly every daily activity and continually adds to his collection.
A dialogue with Mrs Haan and Mr Ferguson jokes about how Laura can deposit money while away by going to the bank and making a noise like a depositor. The note ends with a quip about using Mothers Winslow’s Syrup for teething children, attributed to the Chicago Tribune.
The New York American notes the Phoenicians shaped the great Phoenician alphabet with some hieratic signs from Egypt, but credits the invention to the ancient “Yankees of antiquity,” underscoring Phoenician ingenuity rather than Egyptian influence.
Local ads claim Hall's Catarrh Cure treats catarrh as a blood or constitutional disease. The remedy is described as internal, acting on the blood and mucous surfaces, combined with Hall's Family Pills for constipation. Testimonials are advertised as free upon request from F. J. Cheney & Co of Toledo Ohio.
A new mercury vapor lamp features a quartz tube inside a glass globe resembling an arc lamp. It operates at 220 volts with 3,000 candle power and 0.25 watt per candle, rated for 1,000 hours life and claims no electrode replacements.
Mrs Outsome complains of heat and sunburn in a hot place while Mr Outsome compliments her tan as a pleasing light brown. The exchange ends with a playful remark about the tan turning away wrath. The Chicago Tribune notes the banter as a humorous domestic moment.
Travelers in the Alhambra area plan to depart after noting the coming American presence. They hurriedly gather trinkets and regret not being able to transport the landscape itself.
The dialogue shows a candidate learning of a political turn from newspaper notices and a printer's inkling. The exchange features a doctor, professor, and chairman discussing weekend plans thwarted by duties and fate. The Chicago Tribune quote marks the humorous exchange.
A collage of comic quips and brief notices from various papers. Humorous exchanges in social settings appear amid short items on industry, travel, and current events, with a dash of global trivia and literary tidbits.
A farmer’s sagnacious dog trained to count sheep by moving stones at an open gate discovers an extra lamb added during the night while counting the flock. The dog’s action reveals the uncounted addition through the stone-removal method.
The London Standard notes that all Australian children are drilled and elder cadets attach to military forces. Cadet corps operate in large schools with khaki uniforms and light rifles. Annual shooting matches reveal many skilled youths.
The Taiyo of Tokyo warns that the white peril in the East threatens as much as the yellow danger to the West. It urges China and Japan to unite to halt European and American control of Far East industrial and commercial markets.
Bishop Potter heard a Cooperstown school boy’s essay on clergymen at an ecclesiastical dinner in New York. The joke classifies clergymen into bishops rectors and curates and jokes that a curate is thin and married while a rector gets fuller and preaches longer sermons.
A Kansas City Journal item recounts a woman leaping before a car and a parodic remark about an actor seeking the spotlight. The report frames the event as a question of whether the act was deliberate or an accident, noting public debate over motive.
A witty quote from the Louisville Courier-Journal contrasts a woman cherishing a photograph with a man named Henry reflecting on hair. The exchange lands as a humorous cultural note in the paper.
A New Hampshire village tale follows Tom the house painter as he chats on Main Street with a resident about a quarrel with Spinner the old man who threatened to paint himself. The butler and coachman exchange mismatched jokes about a safety razor versus a currycomb in a lighthearted exchange.
The Well Informed demand a simple pleasant and efficient liquid laxative. California Fig Syrup Co. offers Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna, a known wholesome gentle yet prompt remedy. Buy genuine California Fig Syrup Co. product from leading druggists at fifty cents per bottle.
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