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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Nov 22, 1906
Page
7
A collection of short humorous vignettes and quips from a newspaper page. Stories include a burglary victim recounting loses and remorse, a Sunday school joke about King David and nationality, and a reception anecdote about a man who ignored a tall blonde when his wife appeared.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer caption describes a German crowd reacting as Emperor William kisses King Edward on both cheeks near a station amid curious tension. The blurred line of dialogue implies confusion over a gun or explosion, illustrating the moment's surreal diplomacy.
The ad proclaims Hood's Sarsaparilla Hows surpasses others in merit and cures. It cites over 40,000 testimonials in two years and claims to purify blood cures for diseases humors eruptions and weakness. It offers liquid form or Gareatahe tablets at 100 doses for $1.
A tired man asks for a room and offers 50 cents two-fifths of a dollar. The clerk quotes one dollar for a night, and the traveler explains he will sleep only half the time, hoping for a cheaper rate.
Maybe Jack notes admiration for frankness and says the speaker’s face is like an open book. Edyth-Well agrees, joking that the face indeed stays open most of the time.
The boss instructs William to split eggs into two piles for separate pricing. The boy asks if distinction is by freshness. The boss corrects him, saying the division is by size, big and little.
Coleridge mumbles about Cologne stench counts seventy one and despaired then an automobile whizzes by prompting him to exclaim there it is and he sniffs the odor and writes his famous poem despite the smell's foulness.
A fragmentary legal notice cites Frank J. Cheney Co offering one hundred dollars for cure of catarrh with Hall's Catarrh Cure. The rest recalls a Union Pacific journey through Wyoming with Mark Twain anecdote and a station scene with hay making and weather, plus a joke about ritualism in religion.
Article notes New York City now operates twelve regular schools with nurses. It also mentions the United States Lighthouse Service incurring a yearly cost of 4.5 million dollars.
A fragment describes Allcock's Plaster as an excellent comforter for back pain and muscle strain. It urges keeping the plaster over the seat of pain for several days to aid sustained relief, noting its renewing effect as it wears off.
A witty exchange centers on Wedderly and a woman whose plans elude prediction. The scene hints at suspense and social dynamics as the narrator notes the impossibility of foresight into her actions.
A fragmented ad snippet features a humorous exchange about lions at mountains and seas. It includes an Easterly Catholic Standard and Times note and promotes Allen's Foot-Ease with free samples for foot relief and shoe comfort, urging readers not to accept substitutes.
The Philadelphia Presa notes Tess-Mr. Magsey has asked Miss Passay for a call, hinting at a forthcoming engagement. Talk among friends suggests a bridesmaid may already be chosen, sparking local curiosity about the wedding party.
Mrs J B Johnson of Columbia Missouri describes two years of dropsy pain and swelling before using Janine Dean's Kidney Pills. After two boxes her kidney action and heart sensations improved and she could raise her arm again. Foam 50 cents a box Foster Milburn Co Buffalo NY.
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