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This newspaper page contains 27 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Jan 21, 1909
Page
3
Advertises Hood's Sarsaparilla as a medicinal tonic with over twenty ingredients. Claims to cure blood, stomach, liver troubles and a range of ailments including fatigue, eczema, anemia, dyspepsia, and loss of appetite while building up the system. Promotes liquid and chocolate tablet forms.
In a playful exchange on a tenth floor elevator Billy, the elevator boy, tells stenographer he feels like he is on a hunting trip as he jokes about “bringing down a dear.” She blushes and calls him the nicest boy in town.
A humorous exchange features a germicide coal merchant remarking that cold weather kills microbes. A customer responds by noting the product also eliminates the poverty microbe, delivering a wry punchline about economic hardship and utility.
An old advertisement touts Bromo Quinine laxative with a claimed signature of E W Grove and a claim it cures a cold in one day. It warns sneezing as a brain clearer and contrasts tobacco snuff with Mrs Winslow’s soothing for teething discomfort.
A professor in moral philosophy defines ethical and intellectual aristocracy to students. A student with a bad eye asks for clarification, and the class discussion frames the concept as being great and good in the professor's view.
A fragment from the Houston Post notes a dubious testimonial for a nerve tonic promising cures. It mentions Dr James and Dr El Kline with a trial bottle offer and references John Rockefeller allegedly amassing wealth from borrowed money.
A fragment ad claims a 0 powder product cures painful swollen feet and sweating, promising easy wearing of new shoes and availability from multiple sellers. reads like a period style remedy notice. A separate court note quotes a judge on a disorderly conduct charge for inviting chorus ladies to a Thanksgiving dinner, calling it reckless daring. A cold remedy recipe, using sar saparilla syrup, toris compound, and whisky, promises a 24 hour cure with a dosage schedule.
Dry weather notes and a lighthearted item about a dusting girl hired to dust a space. The piece highlights a trusted helper who moved all the dust to sight, showcasing a small domestic labor vignette from Chicago.
A poetic fragment describes night transforming the world into a fairyland under moonlight. The speaker notes a gauzy screen cast by her ray, revealing beauty while faults are hinted at by youthful suns.
The Lamb essay Dream Children is offered as two folio leaves bound by Riviere for 1250 dollars. It notes Lamb earned only 850 dollars for two years on Elia. The item appears among a broad catalog of book and technology notes and Alaska book details.
A New York society woman says daily one hour of total relaxation in a darkened room keeps her youthful look and vivacity. An English physician’s tale about a patient who learned absolute relaxation shows how a dropped weight and a bang can trigger calm, suggesting relaxation as a universal aging remedy.
A quip about debt and a dentist leads to a running joke. A woman explains she cannot visit the dentist because she owes him money. The man quips about always breaking down near stores where he owes money, highlighting a humorous pattern of financial trouble.
In a light moment a cigar dealer jokes to the judge about his wife as the courtroom banter turns on a witty remark about genius being a man who has what others lack. The exchange showcases a humorous sidelight in an otherwise formal proceeding.
Letters from William A. Presser of Moline Illinois and A Thompson of Martel Ohio praise Peruna for curing chronic catarrh. Presser reports a complete medical cure after two bottles and no recurrence. Thompson says eighteen years of suffering ended after about a third bottle. Peru na Drug Mfg Co Columbus Ohio offers free Peruna almanacs for 1909.
Conversational exchange on boating fuel use during an all day fishing trip. Acknowledges enjoyment of motor boats and curiosity about daily fluid consumption, with an offbeat reply estimating about four gallons.
A 300 pound visitor at the livestock show leaned over a hog pen as the 600 pound hog lay exhausted. The visitor quipped about prize beauty while the Tribune notes the dramatic scene and the famous Pazo Ointment guarantee offering a 6 to 14 day cure or money back.
A smiling young man offers help with preparing dainties for a church social. He asks for guidance on making popcorn balls and is advised by a practical young woman to wash hands before starting.
A bachelor girl laments paying $3 for a bunch of artificial curls only to find them shedding into her own hair. She pins the grievance to the unfairness of the situation and expresses a sigh about her aging tresses.
The customer presents a check for an overdue milk bill. The collector asks if it is certified, but the customer denies the need, claiming his funds are ample. The collector urges certification, while the dialogue mocks the idea of certified milk.
A man asks a financial editor if a three billion dollar bill exists. The editor confirms a $3 bill was in possession this morning and used to pay for groceries, prompting a playful bet outcome.
A Chicago Tribune note recalls a playful 18th century scene in which a young George Washington contemplates honesty and public image. The anecdote frames early notions of integrity and leadership.
This recent portrait shows Humbert Nicholas, heir to Italy's throne, in a guard uniform. Born Sept 15, 1904 he is the son of King Humbert and Queen Helena and bears names honoring his grandfathers and the Duke of Genoa.
A humorous verse meditation from the Chicago Record-Herald compares a hungry baby, a lost lamb, and a bashful maiden to illustrate the adage it pays to advertise. The fablelike cadence links appetite, rescue, and romance to the power of publicity.
A terse think piece noting that ordinary Englishmen dislike suspicion and cover uncertainty with jokes or practical language. It observes that emptiness or insecurity drives overused humor as a coping device in public discourse.
Belle blushes while confessing to Jack that she spoke the naked truth. The Toledo Blade presents a candid exchange revealing personal sensibilities and social tension.
A brief opinion notes that most troubles stem from carelessness and that negligence underpins many societal problems across the nation. The author cites everyday errors as the root cause of personal and communal difficulties.
A speaker argues that genuine cleverness is shown by how well a plan works. The remark highlights the value of robust schemes and disciplined thinking in problem solving.
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