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This newspaper page contains 19 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Dec 10, 1908
Page
7
A Chicago Tribune quip features a teacher and a student discussing latitude. The dialogue notes that latitude is distance north and south of the Chicago river, reflecting a humorous classroom exchange.
A fragmentary line shows a speaker asking an officer for the complaint while another character mispronounces rheumatist as a courtroom term, illustrating a humorous miscommunication in a police scene.
Ostend Pa listeners hear a saying about Wall Street money with a father and son discussing why funds flow to easy targets. The father explains money comes from easy people while those who control it are tough to influence, leaving the speaker puzzled about access.
A witty column notes rival cinema shows a curtain and two spooners on the street while claiming to offer real moving pictures at a dime. The piece playfully suggests locals can beat the theater with clever humor.
A captioned humorous exchange shows a child named Kitty arguing with her mother about sitting still at the table. The girl declares she is a fideetarian, sparking a family moment.
A brief humorous dialogue captures Hiram Burrows and Ezra Skinner trading gritty slang about chewing tobacco and a fall that may not last the day, in a compact rustic exchange with a sly punchline.
A humorous quip about a village mothers' club choosing the handsomest baby by ballot with each child voting for themselves. The judge notes the irony as the vote yields a self serving result.
A columnist notes the English language lists over 250000 words, about 70000 more than German, French, Spanish, and Italian combined. The piece ponders how such vast vocabularies are learned or consumed, reflecting on linguistic richness and usage.
A collage of newspaper humor items features quips about deafness overrest and noisy contraptions, married life musings, pranks about ministers and money, social faux pas, and light mockery of ladies and gentlemen. Witty exchanges appear from the Philadelphia Record, New York Sun, Harper’s Weekly, Jugend, and more.
Evanston Illinois resident Sophia Kittleson writes of severe catarrh and throat soreness improving after Peruna tonic. She notes chronic catarrh disappeared and praises Peruna and its tablets as a preferred form.
A collage of disjointed past advertisements and verses includes claims about ear drum transplants in Russian hospitals, a tragic May-themed love lament, and promotions for Dr. Ine’s Great Nerve Restorer and Rybold's Extract. Also features Allen’s Foot-Ease free sample offer and a Yale Record jab at soda-fueled life.
A formula using half pint whiskey with Toris Compound and Syrup Sarsaparilla Compound is described as an effective treatment for lame back rheumatism. The Globe Pharmaceutical Co. Chicago manufactures Toris Compound, though ingredients are available from any druggist.
Mrs Chugwater asks what a homestretch means in a newspaper scene. Mr Chugwater yawns and leans back, explaining with a slow extended arms gesture and a weary tone.
A miscellany notes global trivia including currencies, libraries in New York villages, women suffrage in Finland, Berlin ice rink, ivory nut usage, steam power estimates, Mora sugar beets, Australian theatre history, stationery thumb marks, Bertha Ayrton’s work, Kittery Maine library, Henderson almonds, a banker’s anecdote.
A garbled text notes fur and hide hunters, price lists, and an appeal to customers. It mentions a magestic bait decoy extract and shipping, then shifts to a classroom tale of a fox and a grape ending with a child’s mispronounced version of Aesop in Little Italy.
A caller identified as Mrs Pneubride asks the health department to dispatch an officer to 697 Bilgus Street after reporting a house swarming with cockroaches. The Chicago Tribune note records the telephone exchange.
In a rustic dialogue Uncle Jed refuses to sell votes saying they do not trade in these diggings. An impromptu Cesandrum features a misquoted exchange with Miss Tartan and Percy Sorreltop about punctuation and a harmless exclamation.
Mr Trueboy vows to keep his word to his wife by dictating twenty six letters before leaving for the club. He instructs a friend to note the alphabet sequence as he finishes his task and joins three companions at a card table.
A brief joke exchange about milk yield and sale prompts a grim punchline. A veterinary note laments a horseman’s illness and a groom counsels parting the dog to another owner.
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