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This newspaper page contains 24 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Newberg Graphic
Location
Newberg, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Aug 08, 1907
Page
3
An advertisement claims S. S. S. thoroughly cleanses the blood and renovates circulation to expel poisons causing rheumatism. It warns that the disease cannot be rubbed away and ties symptoms to uric acid buildup, urging readers to consult physicians and request a free treatise on rheumatism.
A tombstone unearthed at Culroes Abbey in Fife is believed to date from the fourth century AD. In London a Petrus Guarnerius violin dated 16095 sold for £260, while a Nicholas Lupot violin brought £240. Americans and American capital invest in Ceylon to develop its tea industry this year.
Six years at hard labor are imposed. The defendant, urged by Burglar-Judge, seeks permission to learn a trade through a correspondence course, requesting a tangible route to reform and skill development.
The Yonkers Statesman cites a claim that NYC arrestees average 22 percent age and one in five is a woman, with commentary by Egbert noting women would lower the average. The remark reflects the era's statistical humor rather than formal data.
A light dialogue debunks a circulating rumor about an impending marriage to Col. Gascop. A matronly friend notes she has been married to Dr. Permangan for thirty seven years and still does not know him, underscoring how little rumors prove about personal ties.
Professor McGoozle apologizes for lengthy chatter about his hobby. Miss Genevieve expresses interest and says she could listen for hours, while Miss de Muir confirms she is indeed intrigued.
A Chicago News quip recalls a couple's wedding day with a sharp remark about love. She says she believed sunshine filled her heart, but he replies that it was only moonshine. The playful line underlines a humorous take on marital romance.
A tense night scene unfolds as a mother calls Marie to come inside. A sharp voice from the front porch corrects her, declaring this is Clarence, not Jack, changing the expected confrontation.
The text cites Sir Henry Samuel as a Unionist candidate and labels the “legislative gar én of the Liberale” an arid swamp. It notes Biggs-Dopsons as exclusive, with remarks about wire screens on their doors and windows to prevent association with neighboring files.
The article traces the etymology of hurrah from ancient war cries across cultures. It notes claimed links to Hosanna and various forms like Norsemesf Turaie and Huzza, Hurray, or Hurrah, and explains its wide use across nations as a rallying shout.
Miss Agnes Slack of the International W C T U relates a temperance parable on the Merion about a dinner table scene. A boy asks why his father's nose is red, the father blames the east wind and beer, then the mother says pass your father the east wind and keep the cloth clean.
A boy in charge of the morgue at Daily Thunderbolt wonders if a portrait matches the night editor's request. He pleads for staff to bring down Knox, Boss Croker, or Harry Orchard for identification.
A long collage of light humor lines from various papers sketches punchlines about trains, cooks, marriage, college tuition, satire on politics, and social etiquette. Names like Loucity Courier Journal Cleveland Plain Dealer Philadelphia Prep and Chicago Daily News appear through wry captions and exchanges.
In a casual exchange, a neighbor praises a two hour Alaska lecture while Mr. Dodd admits it felt tedious to him. He relays how the talk left him tired though he finds rest afterwards splitting wood in his woodshed.
Dr Otto Kalischer of Berlin conducted experiments showing dogs can distinguish musical tones. In tests the dogs received meat morsels only when a specific note was sounded, with results published in the Berlin Academy of Science proceedings.
A vivid slice from Smoketown ballroom life where beauty and chivalry mingle as Dentley mixed in the dance until seven o'clock. The London milkman image contrasts with daily labor as he covers routes on foot with a three wheel hand cart.
A Philadelphia Press quip notes Burroughs as a master at spinning stories while revealing he is financially broke. Separately, Ostend reports an artesian well water now touted for medicinal qualities similar to Vichy, after fifty years of waste.
An old advertisement promotes Allen's Foot-Ease powder for foot care sold by Denes Druggiats in New York. It features a quotation about going west to help the country grow and contrasts growing up with the country to grow up properly as cited by the Washington Star.
A postal clerk quotes a customer who decries irregular mall fan deliveries. The exchange includes a garbled name line Viade voledoweschowsk and a pun about letters, reflecting a light humorous item in the Philadelphia Press.
With a decade in business Aaron Wells known as Pinochie dominates Cornell debt. He buys second hand clothing at low prices then resells and lends money with high markups. Fraternity men and well to do students rely on him for quick cash for home trips bets and bills. He tracks clients and collects debts, sometimes through parents.
A 1778 Ohio conflict tale recounts Captain Robert Benham wounded in both legs. he hides under a fallen tree and, with a comrade, survives by cooking, shooting a raccoon, and foraging. A borderer with two arms joins, aiding escape toward Louisville by river boat after months of peril.
A Philadelphia Press quip notes a salesman avoiding business talk after a buyer asks for an order. The boss jokes the buyer may have had a bad reaction to a dinner, implying the meal caused dyspepsia.
In a humorous exchange Mrs. Wickler and Wickler spar over price increases. She insists not all wages have risen while he challenges the claim, citing his own salary as evidence of stubborn inflation and disputed value.
The Fort Worth Record notes how some Australasia tribes retain a gesture code as efficient as speech. The passage contrasts family sorrow over Grandpa Jinx with humorous memory of him being tied to a churn to make butter.
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