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Newspaper
New Oxford Item
Location
New Oxford, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
May 14, 1925
Page
37
A quirky item places the rolling joke about AS Q as the top entry on the list, highlighting humor and a play on words. The piece frames the Moss Gatherer as the lead item in a column of wit.
The advertisement touts Green's August Flower as a reliable cure for nervous dyspepsia sour stomach constipation indigestion torpid liver dizziness and related digestive disorders. It claims fifty eight years of widespread use in millions of households worldwide and availability in 30 and 90 cent bottles with strong popularity.
Cuticura Ointment is recommended to remove pimples and blackheads, followed by Cuticura Soap and hot water. Daily use should keep skin clear, with Cuticura Talcum included. Also promotes Roman Eye Balsam for morning relief and quips about ignorance solving nothing.
A humorous Boys' Own Paper anecdote features Jones rushing to a tennis invitation. He grabs a bag, discovers it is heavy, and finds he has brought potatoes instead of tennis balls. He jokes about boiled balls and a domestic mix up.
A brief exchange reveals tensions with a long-time cook. One says she hates him and waits to quit until he hosts a houseful of guests, while he claims to give up hosting to fool her.
A witty quip by a Christian evangelist links wealth and art. She boasts a recent fortune and declares a fondness for art, adding she never misses visiting an artery in any city she visits.
An unidentified mule tender named Emanuel Jackson appeared on crutches one morning. A friend exclaimed in amusement that he thought Jackson was one of the best mule handlers, to which Jackson replied proudly that he is, but this mule in the morning did not know his reputation.
Dialogue between Mrs. Nurich and Mrs. Aristair Kratt on sympathy for common people and the idea of being well off without them. The exchange questions necessity and social perspective with a wry tone.
If roaches trouble you, hasten to obtain Sodium fluoride from your druggist. It kills them quicker than a train.
The Columbia Jester records a scripted exchange where a lady questions a servant about a kiss seen at four o'clock. The maid identified is Jane, and the dialogue confirms the timing and involvement of James.
A stranger claims to follow every line in life, declaring a palmistry-based creed. The exchange reveals a quirky belief tying fate to lines on palms as a personal philosophy.
A fragmentary verse shows a man recounting a car delivery and claimed sale. The speaker relays hearsay and conflicting statements about ownership and truth, illustrating a dispute over who actually owned or sold the vehicle.
A lighthearted domestic scene describes a maid and mistress watching Fido and Toutou chase each other through the neighbor’s flower beds, with the mistress noting the dogs' antics keep the darlings out of mischief.
A doctor visits a grocery store and asks about the cheese. The grocer replies that the cheese is a bit stronger, calling it the Progressive Grocer in a playful trade exchange.
A brief Capper's Weekly quip notes that psychology may appeal if it is in fashion this season and costs more than five dollars a yard.
Mooresville figures Locke McKnight and Grover Stutts dead after a shotgun and pistol duel at Stutts’ home. Witnesses say no eye there who fired first. dispute over business led to the deadly confrontation four miles east of Mooresville on McKnight’s farm.
A prisoner at Eastern Penitentiary received a 5000 dollar check from Warden Groome for earnings while incarcerated. He began with training, later sold beaded pocketbooks outside, and left prison with thousands. Inside, the prison offers courses including engineering via state college extensions.
Lindsey M. Franklin of Flushing backed his auto into an open elevator shaft in a garage and fell five stories landing on another car. He escaped with minor bruises while Archibald Nesbett of Bayside, occupant of the second car, required hospital treatment. Both drivers were protected from being crushed as both cars wrecked.
Mrs Augusta Muchl sues Phillip Rudolph of Menominee Falls for 2000 in damages claiming his apiary harbors vicious bees that sting her arm without cause. She charges the bees were recklessly and wantonly abused and harassed by their owner leading to agony.
Jim Gant a longtime janitor at City National Bank in Lexington admits taking five bundles of $500 each from behind the teller desk during a routine sweep. He walked home with $2,500, spent part of it, and was arrested three days later with $1,625 remaining. Bank insured. authorities charge him with grand larceny.
In St Paul District Court Judge Bechhoefer heard the tale of Oscar Peterson and Helen Dahir, accused lovers luring Robert Berns to Harriet Island. Peterson was sentenced to one to ten years in the state reformatory. Dahir faces trial. Peterson testified for the state claiming $7 taken. the victim lost $80.
Philadelphia reports Dr Rodney Wiske of New York predicts the perfect man via regulation of glands. At the Eastern Homeopathic Medical Association, Dr Wiske cites gland function discoveries and a fountain of youth through proper control. Dr William H Diffenbach adds ductless glands offer better youth restoration than monkey gland implants.
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