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This newspaper page contains 22 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
New Oxford Item
Location
New Oxford, Pennsylvania, United States of America
Date
Jun 03, 1920
Page
24
A colorful ad urges women to dye fabrics with Diamond Dyes claiming simple directions for all fabrics and guarantees perfect results even for first timers. The playful copy mentions curious quotes and domestic scenes as selling points.
An argumentative local councillor confronts an opponent’s cease as he defies the notion of six of one and half a dozen of the other. He argues the situation is exactly the opposite, emphasizing a sharp distinction in the dispute.
A remarkably fat couple travels in a New York Pennsylvania Station sleeping car. The wife occupies the lower berth, the husband the upper. Helpers aid the man up to the top bunk as the train halts beside a hog car, whose protests echo through the night while the wife laments Hiram’s snoring.
A humorous remark highlights a young boarder developing a device to stop party listening. The wit notes the inventor aims to mute subscribers during gatherings, describing him as the meanest man he knows.
A sharp witticism claims some women are as set in their ways as an old hen and urges readers to ignore faults by closing their eyes. The remark frames judgmental views on women's behavior as a social trait.
A former buck returns to crime using a flashlight and silk handkerchief in a silent house. He wakes the sleeping man, recognizes his old top sergeant, hesitates, then contemplates a drastic action as he prepares to leave.
A new field akin to forestry is tree surgery. Originated by an Ohio man, a school trains workers who join the company after completing the course. The work is interesting, scientific, well paid and offers a wholesome outdoor life for boys.
A brief cartoon caption notes a pun about Billy not calling his girlfriend on a long distance line due to being too short, reflecting lighthearted humor in the page’s humor column.
A scenario pitched with starfish octopuses and other deep sea creatures is rejected for lack of novelty. Editors warn audiences include hard shells and shrimps lobsters and crabs who would tire of the idea.
A London Tit-Bits quip recalls a girl who refused brandy sauce with plum pudding. Her friend notes the strictness, joking she would not allow her curling tongs near a spirit lamp, highlighting the tale of notable self restraint.
A daughter insists on restitution for a kiss taken the day before, asking her father to tell Dick to return the kiss tonight. The exchange frames a moral test of forgiveness and fairness in a domestic scene.
In a wry exchange, one character notes Grunp’s habit of borrowing only trouble, and that is the sole thing they ever lend. The remark hints at a tense, witty rapport between the speakers.
A playful exchange notes that more fish are eaten in Japan than elsewhere and suggests they can manage the bones there with Japanese wit. The lines mix proverbs and a pun about digestion and national quirks, reflecting light humor.
A brisk quip contrasts two fast tracks to social lift. The first urges employment with an aviator, implying aviation work as a shortcut to success. The second suggests paradoxical luck by placing a mule on its off hind leg, a humorous image of improbable elevation.
A wife chides her husband for overwork and a missed dishwashing duty. He replies about finishing a novel and the strain of work. She quips that training him to wipe dishes would allow him to pause now and then.
A story about Harry-Old Miserly who works hard to build a fortune. He now boasts enough money to cover his doctor bills for life.
The remark highlights Bings as notably successful and calls for sharp thinking in business. He emphasizes personal accountability, stating he chose his path decisively by committing fully and with purpose.
A quotation suggests married men are better soldiers because they are more accustomed to discipline, implying a link between marital experience and military behavior. The remark frames marriage as a source of steady conduct advantageous in service.
Pithy quip from the Louisville Courier-Journal notes a husband who fears he is no match for his wife, while the reply asserts that marriage makes a man subordinate to his spouse and highlights enduring matrimonial humor.
A humorous exchange notes oculists’ bills provoke irritation. One character asks why and the reply cites their nature as designed to develop eye rate possibilities, implying a pun on optics and costs.
A series of short vignettes and quips stock a newspaper page. It contrasts a mule driver’s authority with a humorous exchange about a spoiled fish and a joke about married life. Other items reference wartime speech and a veteran’s remark about peace-time sounds.
A brief humor bit features The Proper Place asking where to place desk articles about the dove of peace and suggesting pigeon holes. Giving Proof quips about Maude being open and hard to quiet, delivering a light, witty exchange.
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