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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Sep 11, 1891
Page
2
A jumbled column from The Register recounts quirky notes from Salem and beyond. It mentions a New York boy regaining speech after a robbery, a Burrago woman quipping about bicycle riding, a printer going mad over Donnelly’s cipher, and various oddities from crime to wills, duels, and crankship in public life. The tone skewers sensational items, social quirks, and distant events with wry commentary.
A Southern Pacific conductor condemns a conductor craving the glory of guiding a special train, especially a President's train, calling him a greater ass than expected, while management treats staff with tight control as if they were pickpockets. He notes several supervisors watching closely, hindering autonomous command of the train.
Observers describe trains in rapid, disorderly movement as if guarding the President from a dire threat. The speaker notes personal experience in helping transport leaders but declines to haul the President himself, citing risk and duty.
Census taken in February places British India population at 220,500,000, up 26,000,000 in a decade. East Indian feudatory states add 65,000,000 under British protection. Bengal alone covers one twenty third the US area yet holds 9,060,000 more people than the United States, with 715 persons per square mile of cultivable land. The peasants in congested districts seek new homes in less dense regions.
The Detriot News reports that Attu holidays are shifting from grand patriotic displays to national rest and family gatherings. The old Fourth of July celebrations once led by bombastic orators fade, replaced by quiet picnics, athletic sports, and simple family parties. Firecrackers and cannons, once symbols of patriotism, may eventually be banned as breaches of peace.
A Seminole in the Indian Territory was tried by the council a month after murdering a fellow tribesman with a hoe. He was executed by two braves firing rifles at a rock, dying instantly and his body cremated. The account praises the promptness of justice and the method as commendable.
A Catholic Union critique denounces repeated jokes about women in public life and domestic roles. It condemns hostile, demeaning humor toward typewriters, female lecturers, doctors, and other women as cruel and ignorant. It urges men to stand against belittling remarks implying women are inferior.
A health broker from the far Southwest recuperates in Tombstone jail after stealing a hind quarter of beef. In his lonely cell he writes to his father asking for cash, describing his light confinement and ongoing hunger.
A poetic piece speaks to a spirit of night as an angel guiding sleep and soothing fever. It contemplates mourning and the coming of day, envisioning the sun as a supreme, healing force. The verse ends with a solemn reflection on transition from night to day.
In a circus tale a trapeze prodigy named Gertrude flees an abusive owner Jenkinson seeking shelter near a cottage. She hides in a cellar as the troupe searches town, only to be found and recognized by a praying mother who cradles her at last. The troupe departs with the missing girl still untraced.
A Boston laundress and her husband, a Harvard medical student, were identified by a society ring as a friend of a wealthy classmate. The wife had earlier helped him finish his education by washing clothes, and the couple faced hard times with dignity, later improving as he advanced in his profession.
Millionaire Potter Palmer sits in his Palmer Wrotel office gazing over receipts. The aging financier, famed for title deeds to a palace, recalls a Wisconsin governor’s wife and a blue satin sofa incident illustrating his prudence and devotion to his wife.
The Philadelphia Press notes Boston waiters form an alliance to set wages hours and rules. They urge public backing to curb tipping which has become an obligation and fuels poor service. A public tariff in hotels is proposed to expose tipping exactions and help travelers judge value.
A magician’s piquing stunt uses a cork sealed with wax and a crooked pin threaded to a button. A sunlit glass bottle reveals a thread cut in two with the button resting at the bottom, shown to the audience as the bottle is retrieved.
A discussion on laughter boosting the body’s vitality explains how a hearty laugh quickens blood flow and strengthens health. A tale follows of a man punishing a parrot for mispronouncing uncle, then discovers nine fowls strangled while the parrot repeats uncle.
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