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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Oct 28, 1871
Page
1
Advertisement for H. T. Helmbold’s Compound Fluid Extract Catawba Grape Pills claim relief for liver complaints jaundice bilious affections and headaches. They tout vegetable composition no mercury or deleterious drugs and compare favorably to purgatives, promising invigorating effects and no nausea or griping.
A humorous Old West piece follows Euphemia and her companion on a deer hunt near Sugar Valley. Euphemia unexpectedly spots a bear, declares courage, and directs their actions while her companion timidly assists. The tale blends frontier wit with a quirky portrait of frontier life and personal fortitude.
A Calvary church member rents out a house across from a graveyard to a Dutchman with many children. The Dutchman pretends to accept terms and reveals all his brood are in the graveyard. Later, rent day brings chaos as children run amok with cat harnesses and mashed potatoes.
Henry T Helmbold proclaims his血 purified medicine to eradicate scrofula syphilis fever sores ulcers and many chronic diseases. The advertisement claims blood purification removes constitutional ailments and purifies the blood restoring health and beauty with a complexion clearing remedy for bone pains throat ulcers and skin eruptions.
Advertisement proclaims concentrated fluid extract budy cures for diabetes and kidney and bladder diseases, inflammation, and urinary retention. It pledges relief for prostate issues, stone, and milky discharges, plus general female and male weakness, with claims of physician and midwife use and minimal diet or exposure changes.
H. T. HELMBOLD S IMPROVED ROSEWASH Cannot be surpassed as a Face Wash and is the only specific remedy for all cutaneous affections. It quickly erases pimples spots and dryness and inflammations, removes hives and patches, restores purity and softness, and promotes healthy tissue action for a clear vivacious complexion.
Advertises Henry T. Helmbold Genuine Preparations with over twenty years in service. Delivery by mail to any address and designed for discreet use. Phased depots listed in New York and Philadelphia. Counterfeit warnings stress buying only Helmbold products. Guidance for confidential inquiries through the druggist and chemist.
The advertisement extols Dr Hooflands German Bitters and the Podophyllia Pill as powerful liver and digestive aids made from plant extracts. It asserts no alcohol in the Bitters, promotes a tonic combination with Santa Cruz rum in a separate product, warns against cheap imitations, lists wide ranges of ailments from liver to nervous symptoms, and mentions nationwide distribution from the German Medicine Store in Philadelphia with agent networks. The copy emphasizes purity, strength, and rapid cleansing action, urging readers to buy from authorized druggists and mail orders via the principal office.
A well known local man recounts seeing spectral figures after coffee and tea, later only limbs remained visible as a retinal illusion. In another library scene a man saw a woman in a red cloak whom the servant could not detect, prompting a doctor to be summoned, though the witness insisted it was a visual delusion.
A paternal advice voice warns a young woman about assessing a suitor before agreeing to marriage. It questions honesty, character, daily conduct, and future plans, urging prudence to avoid regret after years of marriage and family life. The piece emphasizes divine trust and shared happiness as essential.
Charles Matthews records a striking kitchen slang moment from a lunch hour. Seven patrons call for ox-tail, mock-turtle, pea soup and bouilli as the waiter hurries to relay to the cook shouting one ox, two mocks, three peas and a bally.
Ivansville Courier denounces the San Domingo revival as infamous and ill- advised. The piece argues the administration misreads public sentiment after fall elections and warns the people will oppose the plan, predicting broad opposition greater than any figure like Carl Schurz.
A Persian monarch asks an old man to reveal his age. The aged man says four and explains eighty years wasted in folly, four spent in doing good, noting that life is measured by deeds. Caleb Cushing predicts annexing San Domingo will pass Congress next session.
Mr Spillman weds a second wife. After the ceremony he says he will enlarge his dairy. A quarrel over “our dairy” leads Mrs Spillman to seize the poker. He hides under the bed, hat brushed off, then peers out, declaring he is searching for their hat, my dear.
A man revels in imagined relief from debt as his mother in law sails for distant tropics aboard the Curlew. He exults on the shore, dances like a kangaroo, and returns home for tea after sunset.
A compact list highlighting guiding principles for the year. It outlines three valued sets: admiration for intellectual power dignity and gracefulness. hatred of cruelty, arrogance and ingratitude. delight in beauty frankness and cheerful spirit. It also includes prayers for faith peace and purity of heart.
A rural mother gifted her five year old son an outfit of fish tackle. A hen became hooked and wriggled toward the coop while Willie calmly said the bird would stop when it reached the polo, easing his mother’s worry.
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