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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Nov 22, 1889
Page
3
A Vermont judge recounts a humorous incident where a young man is tried for upsetting a sap churn. The judge searches the statute book for churns and sap, finding nothing and concluding no law forbids tipping a churn. He notes Vermont’s many maple trees and laments lack of a churn upset statute. The tale ends with the prisoner freed.
A German cousin criticizes American spending habits and servants costs. He contrasts pfennigs and farthings with cents, noting Americans buy excess quantities. He laments daughters' lack of household involvement and praises German training where every girl performs a specific domestic task to support a large household.
In January 1834 Miss J a young English gentlewoman opens a long peculiar correspondence with the Duke of Wellington. The affair lasts seventeen years with frequent lengthy letters and a guarded diary. The Duke remains courteous though weary, offering paternal advice as Miss J pursues a fanciful aim to become Duchess.
A humorous writer laments being pressured to be funny at every social event. He notes comedians face expectations unlike other professionals such as mathematicians, lawyers, ministers, or undertakers. He argues humor is his livelihood but not his only role, and dislikes constant demand to perform.
A Bombay Anthropological Society report highlights Bengal rural beliefs. Curiosities include Garuda driving away snakes, cholera timing affecting fatality, bamboo growth signaling famine, and alms etiquette at thresholds. Superstitions cover snake myths, thresholds, sleep, and omens with ghosts and auspicious cats.
A Harpers Weekly essay critiques New York figures who profit from misfortune and late night commerce. It highlights eye restorers, corn sellers, night peddlers, constant druggists, late dining restaurateurs, and lawyers who operate on or beyond the clock. It notes a new East Side arbitration court run by a woman, a contrast to traditional Hebrew clergy mediation.
Los Angeles Herald reports rumors of an old adobe ruin near Ivanhoe where locals and passersby say Mexicans dig in search of treasure hidden by a famed dead bandit. Sightings of eerie noises and shadowy figures fuel speculation that the place is haunted, though exact treasure remains unfound.
In Marblehead Harbor a countryman extols a yacht as the Mayflower, praising its grace and American achievement. A nautical observer counters that the vessel is the Waterduck, noting the real Mayflower should be seen elsewhere, while the crowd shifts as the debate ends with a sharp aside from the Yankee Blade.
The author extols Cherokee education and discipline, praising their natural system and asking whites to imitate deliberate, thoughtful thinking. He laments a machine like modern pace, urging slower, more careful observation behind wise plans and enterprises.
Statistics show a notable decrease in the convict population over the last twenty years. The total under sentence of penal servitude was 6 405 in July, down from 11 660 twenty years ago.
An acclaimed story described as one of the greatest founded on fact begins in the December issue of Goody’s Lady’s Book, published in Philadelphia. It promises wide interest for both married and single women and will be ready November 15th. newsdealers urged to stock.
An English school boy visits a grocer to buy items at set prices. After listing his purchases he asks what change he should receive from half a sovereign. The grocer hands over the money and the boy leaves to avoid learning his lesson, having relied on the bill to solve the math.
Advertised claims from multiple users in Albion Michigan Prairie City Iowa and others that Hibbard's Rheumatic Syrup and Strengthening Plasters cured Bright's disease inflammatory rheumatism and kidney and liver troubles. Promises delivery via druggists and mail order prices of 1 and 6 for 2. INEUMATIC Syrup Co. Jackson Michigan.
A boy stumbled on Monroe avenue and was helped up by a kind stranger who remarked it would be too early for laughter as winter has not yet arrived. The exchange captures a brief moment of urban humor from the Detroit Free Press.
A reward offer states Hall's Catarrh Cure cannot be cured. testimonials praise F J Cheney & Co of Toledo as trustworthy. The ad notes wholesale druggists Waunine and Mainvix, Toledo National Bank cashier Vax Hoesen, and claims the cure is taken internally with 75 cents per bottle price.
A farmer near Akron reports a hen laying unusually solid eggs after days without laying. Six such eggs have been saved and prove so hard they resist impact when struck against a wall. The tale includes a humorously misprinted local editor notice about a doctor returning to practice.
An assortment of historical ad blurbs touts Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil for flesh and appetite, praise for Lake Superior's size, a Boston hay theft, Britain's empire, Dobbins Electric, cattlemen watering stock, and Brown's Bronchial Troches claiming quick throat relief.
Lawrence notes that Pourrican arithmetic is one of the most flexible of the sciences. The remark emphasizes adaptability of the method and its broad applicability across disciplines.
Mrs Gadabout and Miss Gadabout argue over French novels' value. Mrs Gadabout condemns them as immoral while Miss Gadabout defends their poetic power and potential moral insight for literary young girls. Chicago America.
Manufacturers of Dr Vierve medicines offer a new insurance like guarantee with Golden Medical Discovery and Favorite Prescription. Druggists sell under this certificate promising cure or money back. Also mentions cures for humors skin diseases and female ailments, plus a note for Dr Save's Catarrh Remedy.
The Gueiver recounts a Lent tale of St Kevin at Cambrensis retreat. While praying he raised his hand from a window and a blackbird perched there dropping eggs. He refused to close his hand until the eggs hatched, a legend likened to his usual icon with a blackbird in hand.
The proprietor asks readers to visit any druggist for a free sample bottle of Kemp's Balsam to test its power against severe threat and lung troubles. Large bottles sell for 60 cents and 1.00.
In a terse exchange a horse owner recalls selling a horse for forty dollars a week earlier, now demanding one hundred dollars or a lawsuit. The seller who drove the animal to death faces potential legal action as values rise in the heated dispute.
Claims scientific compounding and safety for adults and children. Highlights ailments like Sick Headache Constipation Dyspepsia Biliousness and serves as an appetite aid. Also reports a snow white 560 pound wild hog shot at Oak Hill Cal with six inch tusks and a lead weight found in carcass.
A compact promotional note extols a weekly magazine, Youth's Companion, detailing its low price of 1.75 per year, availability in Boston, and its role as an educational yet entertaining home companion. It includes parallel notes on Oregon immigration and various 19th century products like eye water and catarrh remedies.
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