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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Nov 18, 1881
Page
3
A dramatic monologue expresses vanity and irony as the speaker laments being bald while noting wealth beauty and social status. The piece alternates with mockery and resignation as the speaker imagines trading heads and confronting public scrutiny.
A Chicago Tribune piece honors James A. Garfield, tracing the future president from a log cabin upbringing through war service and political ascent. It emphasizes his belief in public duty, restraint, and rule of law, citing his acclaimed speech in the House and his call to trust public opinion to safeguard liberty against danger.
W A Croffut recounts a Verona visit chasing Juliet’s tomb with a guide who mistakes a watering trough for a grand fountain. Folk doubt Juliet’s bones lie beneath while misheard phrases fuel comic confusion among travelers from Albany to Hartford.
The account recalls the pivotal convention day when Garfield first rose to applause as Conkling spoke. It notes the writer’s surprise at Garfield’s nomination and election, then recalls his gracious acceptance, the poignant tribute to his mother and the enduring note of national worth in the remarks after his wounding.
A translated clause on renouncing allegiance prescribes severe penalties including confiscation, banishment, and slave distribution for families of criminals, with strangling for concealment and rewards for informants. An insertion peddles Dr Bull's Cough Syrup to prevent hacking coughs amid the text.
A collection of antique health claims praising Hop Bitters and various patent medicines. It touts Dr Hall's recipe for drunkenness cure, St Jacobs Oil for rheumatic pain, iron tonic claims, mineral tonics, teething syrups, and nerve liniments. The pieces promote quick fixes, sensational results, and wide drugstore availability without medical verification.
William J. Coughlin of Somerville Massachusetts recounts a 1876 lung illness with bleeding and a 1877 hospital stay. Doctors said a hole in his lung was as big as a half dollar yet after using Dr William Hall's Bateman remedy he recovered, claiming it cured consumption and improved his health beyond three years.
A Cincinnati Commercial description notes a 64 by 14 by 2 foot white oak hull, draws twenty inches, with tubular boiler and two engines from Ohio Machine Co. The vessel features a Queen Anne dining room, Eastlake saloon, and lavish state rooms. Built for A Vogeler & Co Baltimore for exclusive use distributing St Jacobs Oil along rivers, crewed by their officers, not carrying freight or passengers.
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