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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 23, 1891
Page
19
A rugged admonition delivered in verse warns both young men and women to avoid debt and live frugally. It reflects a rural 19th or early 20th century voice advising thrift, self restraint, and prudent money saving to prevent hardship and loss of blessings.
In Cooney Island, Mickey Finn's billy goat rivals a ram in a drawn out turf battle that ends with Mike Welch battered and patched. Patsy Fogarty holds the ram by the horns as a crowd watches, while others improvise to separate the stubborn animals. The tale ends with Mike nursing bruises and a spike in plaster demand.
In Mortal Peril Dr. C C Abbott recounts a tale from long ago of Hannah an old woman in a wild swamp near Camden and Amboy Railroad who hunts whortleberries only to be chased by a ghostly bear. A misstep leads to a sink in an old well and a humorous rescue by her husband as steam whistle bears down.
A lengthy playful piece centers on Simon Suggs, Susan Sykes, and Surname-rich dialogue filled with S words. The comic scene features Susan resisting Simon's flirtatious patter, a lively string of alliterative exchanges, a swoon, and a culminating salute as they discuss a forthcoming union. The piece ends with a note on piano care in extreme climates, urging iron-framed pianos and controlled room temperatures.
A humorous tale unfolds around a vain barber and a lovestruck young man who trades his bald head for a shared toupee. Louise, the lover, donates hair of chestnut hue matching fringe to crown Romeo, blurring lines between romance and vanity in a witty vignette.
A New York Weekly quip shows a customer puzzled by a 50 percent rise while a new boy explains the tariff duty has increased by 6 percent, illustrating a sharp price explanation in a humorous sketch.
A collage of product pitches and quips touts Syrup of Vies as a perfect laxative and diuretic, Browns Bronchial Traches for coughs, Breecnam's Pills for bilious and nervous troubles, and SAPOLIO cleaning soap. Anecdotes claim personal belief shapes character, with random lines on college progress and chorus hits. Ends with Lisa's Cure for Consumption and a 25 cent price note.
Letters from customers and engineers praise August Flower as a near miracle remedy for dyspepsia. Septuagenarian users and professionals from Levis Quebec to Sydney Australia recount dramatic improvements. G G Green, sole manufacturer, Woodbury New Jersey, endorses the product.
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