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This newspaper page contains 13 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 17, 1874
Page
1
The piece pieces together a satirical excerpt from a stage or salon exchange about skating with Mrs. Twain and Mark Twain. It includes a comic exchange on skating as youth and beauty, Twain's mock bravado, and a lengthy anecdote about a shoemaker’s tears tied to a grandmother and a mislaid shoe. Also features a humorous column on Ladies' Logic with two Victorian examples.
A montage of quips and comments from a Missouri column and reader snippets. It ponders cordial invitations, social vices, and street life with sharp asides about rum, winter hardship, and a range of humorous anecdotes. A Portland Transcript tale about Rev. Burroughs is noted, plus a vague joke on oysters and a Texas editor's brisk dissent on petroleum.
A Paris journal recounts a beggar who arrives nightly at a coffee-house with a clarionet under his arm and asks for copper in exchange for a tune. A generous young man pushes for music, but the itinerant player admits he does not play and uses the instrument to threaten instead.
A Danbury, Connecticut letter dated December 8, 1873 from J. W. Bailey denies kinship with a Bailey family in Iowa City. He jokes about having no relatives and muses on Mayflower ancestry and passage money, urging the reader to deny any relation. He ends with sympathetic regards and a light remark about winter.
A venerable elder, known for lavish exaggeration, was confronted at a church meeting and warned not to yield to gin in the future. He accepted the admonition meekly, confessing his fault and the torments it has caused him, saying he has wept much over it. The gathering adjourned in silence.
A brief antiquated exchange depicts a woman writing to her male friend inviting a game of cards. He reacts angrily, claiming a graduate with such spells is no right bower for him, hinting at a domestic quarrel over a card game.
The Colorado climate is praised for health benefits, quoting an Ohio woman who recovered enough to chase her husband a mile with a pitchfork after moving west. A Troy, New York loafer insults a woman who deflects with yeast thrown on him. he’s now seen as rising. Elmira gossip swirls over a purported premature burial of a local young woman. Albert Pike rents a house in Alexandria, Virginia to reside there. An English wag quips that machinery wheels are so modest they travel in cages.
A New York Times excerpt contrasts modern hotel life with old inns. It depicts an impersonal, aloof hostelry led by unseen authorities and curt clerks. Travelers expect indifference and condescension, accepting modest service as a privilege rather than a right.
A Denver journalist crafts a sensational moral tale. A mother washes a baby while her daughter, soaked in blood, confesses to killing Johnny after a preserves bargain. The mother strikes the girl with a washboard, then kills the baby in scalding water, and flees in shock, prompting Denver mothers to stop washing their babies.
A method for making a durable paste mixes glue with cold water then warm solution and adds a boiling glue mixture to a starch base. Separately a Des Moines druggist clerk markets coal oil, misrepresenting his shop to a tradesman who recognizes the youthful clerk is selling at an exaggeratedly large oil supply.
In Bardosek a fierce blaze consumed 192 houses when a sentinel, forgotten at his post, stayed to guard his post until a corporal arrived. The Emperor learned of the act, awarding 50 roubles, the Order of St. Anna, and promotion to non commissioned officer.
A reader named Tucker asked for a work in the British Museum catalogue titled histories. After a long search, a thin volume was produced and proved to be The history of Little Tom Tucker. Mr Tucker has not reappeared in the reading room since.
Mrs Agassiz plans a biography of her husband spanning years of work begun long ago. The Springfield Republican quips that it is a sweetly solemn thought Richardson may get mad and resign, reflecting a wry obituary of his temperament.
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