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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Feb 04, 1871
Page
1
Dispensatory style notice touts Buchy leaves and Helmbold extracts as remedies for urinary complaints bladder and kidney issues, diabetes, and female disorders. Claims include diuretic and tonic effects, with sales pitch urging beware of counterfeits and delivery to address, price detailed per bottle.
An advertising pamphlet extols Hoofland's German Bitters as a pure plant based remedy for liver and digestive disorders. It contrasts a spirit free Bitters with a Bitters plus Santa Cruz Rum Tonic, touting potency, safety, and costly quality ingredients. It lists numerous symptoms of liver and digestion problems and claims quick cure with consistent use, urging purchase through the German Medicine Store in Philadelphia and widespread distribution via druggists.
The Register lists subscription terms for Tut Register at 200 year in advance, 250 after six months, 300 if paid at year end. Advertisements priced by square, column, and duration with double local column charges. All transient ads must be prepaid. no paper discontinued until arrears settled.
A historical note states that subscribers who do not express otherwise are presumed to want continued service. If papers are not desired, publishers may keep sending until charges are paid. Refusing delivery or moving without notice makes subscribers responsible. Removal without informing the publisher requires notice. Courts have ruled that not taking a paper from the office is prima facie evidence of fraud.
A playful set of puns and wordplay riddles. Highlights include G as death through slaughter, sleepers in a train, a muggy day for a cup, Ma caulays for birds, inn attention at a hotel, San Domingo’s banished whites, a chair that dislikes you, B natural as the key note to breeding, and coffee versus tea with note on settling or drawing.
A satirical note cites examples of tactless behavior in conversations. It parodies how to taunt opponents who are physically impaired or sensitive, illustrating phrases that undermine confidence. The piece humorously critiques rude insinuations and calls out利益 in exchanges.
A Boston Gazette tale recounts a pretentious English guest at Tremont House asking to swap rooms after arriving on the steamship. The clerk offers a premium option, but the visitor insists the view on Beacon Street is unacceptable and fixates on a perceived flaw, illustrating comic cultural clash.
A fragment portrays an insane editor claiming a dream in which subscribers step forward, pay their bills, wear honest smiles, and hand over stamps while shouting a odd phrase about high prices.
Mr. T. W. Knox notes Chinese practice of choosing family tomb plots in groves and preserving ancestral bones in jars. Coffins are displayed as household items, with homes often featuring dedicated coffin rooms. He describes coffins as prized, and explains bone removal during ground sales for new construction.
In a humorous election of virtues, Mark Twain’s Early Stunner potato is praised for rapid early yields and hardiness. A mock testimonial recounts odd trials with plastered roads, Irish labor, and a dramatic underground mine that yields a flood of potatoes before a Fenian rumor drives a dramatic disappearance.
A theatrically minded reminiscence recounts General P M B Young returning to Washington after Georgia credentials. He sought removal of disabilities with Thaddeus Stevens who quipped and urged support. Young swore in shortly after declaring himself a straight out Democrat. Bar superstition is the poetry of life. A 20 year old girl in Alton Illinois digs a well for her father at seventy five cents a foot and has had three marriage proposals since starting.
Advice from the Boston Commercial and Bulletin urging prudent planting and orderly farming. Practical maxims on corn, potatoes, rakes, cattle, and hay storage. humorous observations about vegetables, locks, cheese, and seasonal garden favorites. Keeps a folksy tone urging common sense and steady work during seasons.
The piece criticizes young men who seek status by theater snacks and cigars to appear liberal, and women who demand the best seats and fashion. It warns unfledged clerks against flashy spending, urges self denial over costly habits, and condemns so called gentlemen who ignore aid to the elderly. It also rebukes girls valuing gaudy adornments over real work, and men who mock charity while praising fine dress.
A Vermillion tale recounts a visitor who found a Prussian flag at the American House. He misread the colors as a radical mockery of the Stars and Stripes, saying the red stood for Indians, the black for Black people, and the white for others.
How They Look Mr Macray, a Scotch traveler in America, describes Oliver Wendell Holmes as a plain dapper man with short hair brushed down, a gray paw, a strong jaw, a thick under lip and a dash of pertness. Professor Agassiz appears big and genial, with a healthy color and old world trace, a dark keen eye, and a look that could be an English squire. Imernon has a queer New England face, thin features, a hatchet nose, and a childlike sweetness and arching smile.
Workmen on the French and Italian sides removed the rock barrier after Christmas. The Mont Cenis tunnel, eight miles long, costs about 10 million dollars and will connect Journeau in France with Italy near Nardomeche. Projected to finish by July, it may open for railway traffic by early July.
A vivid portrait likens a powerful French political operator to a human spider perched in a plain Versailles room. His web is a vast telegraph network linking France England Austria Russia and other nations, ready to trap political flies amid Europe’s tense atmosphere.
A Portland Oregon woman says nine years of burning coal oil without accidents was achieved by placing a small amount of coarse salt in lamp bottoms. The salt purifies oil and brightens light, and twice overturned lamps did not explode. Salt should be changed every three months.
The article prescribes boiling half a pint of linseed oil with half a pint of neats foot oil. Coat boots thoroughly while warm, let them dry for two to three days, then wipe clean after use. Repeat oiling before going out. apply to dress boots for water resistance.
The notice records Tho Nishus as flown and marks a marriage event with a quotation reading Suffer little children to come unto me. The fragmentary item signals a ceremonial notice likely from a church or community publication and preserves the period voice.
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