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This newspaper page contains 17 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Dec 16, 1887
Page
3
A Kansas City notice reports Mrs. Judge Hooter’s funeral at 1 pm and a hurried sale of Fairview Addition lots to aid the widower. A Dakota railroad tale riffs on cow delays and a Wyoming-lawyer quip leads to a Jersey return, with a New York trust dispute over iron ownership in American Cultivator.
A guide explains common business terms seen in failing firm accounts. It defines ordinary business paper where one note proves a debt, accommodation paper from bank loans, gilt-edge for first class paper, kite paper as a winded scheme to fake capital, and trust receipts describing import financing with proceeds to the bank.
A linguistic parade of malapropisms and idiosyncrasies from various British and Irish characters. Stories of a French visitor mispronouncing words, a deaf aunt asking a doctor to look inside her head, a Paisley publican’s servant, and humorous regional misstatements from Welsh, Irish, and northern Irish speakers, illustrating playful yet vivid turns of phrase and cultural quirks.
An 19th century tale from Old Wilner in Houston County recalls teacher Moore, his wife Martha Anne Moore buried there, and a mossy epitaph carved by the headstone reading Don’t Shoot Birds Around Martha’s Grave, a rare historical memory from the vanished village once county seat.
An old country gentleman, Uncle Danl, defends a reputed criminal by noting Jim was a good smoker as he joins the angels. A collection of light anecdotes follows, including teacher jokes and college examples of social manners and mischief from campus columns.
A historical profile on Colonel Seth Warner of Vermont, hero of the Revolutionary War, his role against New York authorities, and his later ventures promoting Warner's Log Cabin Remedies. The piece links his legacy to Ethan Allen, his descendants, and the new line of vegetable medicines said to cure ailments with simple herbs and roots.
A reflective piece on dying gently from a common disease and the fading of senses. It cites Dr. T. L. Cuyler and anecdotes about loss of pain, hearing, and sight, including a physician noting darkness and Lincoln’s implied fate. It also mentions battlefield deaths and drowning, noting calm, numb, or exhilarated sensations.
A terrier belonging to a lady friend chased a monkey owned by an itinerant organ grinder. The monkey, calm in jacket and hat, saluted with a raised paw as the dog hesitated. The dog retreated in a display of astonishment after the polite gesture, and the monkey departed before the dog rejoined the scene.
The article traces shorthand from Timon Bright to John Willis and the rise of Pitman phonography. It notes nearly 500 systems once existed, Pitman’s method flourishing with 500 editions and a million copies. It contrasts American use of stenographers with England where private stenography is less common.
Dyspepsia invading the stomach leads to rapid decline of vigor and severe tissue waste. Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is urged as a thorough, rapid stomachic that repairs declining tissues, prevents constipation and liver complaints, and aids convalescents, while also aiding malarial and kidney troubles.
A classroom anecdote recalls students describing the Roman Empire as Christianity spread. The teacher asked if Rome was growing and, after a noticeable negative glare, the pupil exclaimed Smaller, illustrating how perception shaped a moment of learning.
A verse tale explains Laura’s decline as her fragile health and nervous temperament push away her wealthy suitor. He instead courts her energetic cousin Ellen, while Laura seeks relief in Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription, advertised with a manufacturers’ money back guarantee.
A collage of early 20th century medical advertisement prose touts Dr Sage’s Catarrh Remedy Scott’s Emulsion Brown’s Bronchlal Traches and Doctour’s pills. It uses market claims of cures for catarrh coughs colds and throat ailments and wry lines about love and marriage contracts. The copy cites doctors and locales in promotional voice.
A stock broker cannot expect to feel bully when he has more troubles than he can bear, underscoring mounting pressures in the financial market and personal strain amid a difficult period.
Doctor David Kinnepy of Rondont New York offers his book How to Cure Kidney Liver and Blood Disorders praised for merit and beauty. Included are two articles by Col Judson Ned Buntline. Annual price printed as 25 cents. send notice with paper name and 2 cent stamp to receive free by mail.
The leading features include six illustrated Serial Stories by Trowbridge and Stephens, two hundred Short Stories and Tales of Adventure, articles by Gladstone Tyndall Wolseley Alcott Crook and others. Companion publishes two million Theodora weekly. Subscribe now for $1.75 and receive free until January 1 1888 plus a full year from that date.
An editor letter promotes a positive remedy for consumption claiming thousands cured. The writer offers free samples in exchange for reader addresses. The message names T A Slocum M C and references Grand Rapids Michigan. An advertisement notes a rival Pin Worm Cure by G G Stseer of Grand Rapids.
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