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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Aug 19, 1871
Page
1
Medical ad touts Benry T. Helmbold’s Fluid Extract Rhu barb and Fluid Extract Catawba Grape Pills for liver complaints jaundice bilious affections sick headaches and rough bowels. Describes a pure vegetable formula free of mercury minerals or deleterious drugs. Pills are pleasant tasting non sugar coated and do not irritate the stomach or cause nausea or griping.
Hoofland's German Bitters and Tonic claim alcohol free formula using extracts from German grown roots herbs and barks. The tonic pairs with Santa Cruz rum to mask bitterness and price is $1.50 per bottle. They promise liver digestion nerve and blood benefits with a long symptom list and claim cure for many ailments. Sold by druggists and the German Medicine Store in Philadelphia and across the United States.
An 19th century advertisement proclaims Henry T. Awl embolds Blood Purifier cures a wide array of diseases from syphilis to skin eruptions. It claims blood purification, health restoration, and complexion improvement, presenting the product as the sole remedy for chronic constitutional ailments and bone pains.
An 19th century patent medicine advertisement touts Henry T. Helmbold's Extract Buchu as a universal cure for diabetes kidney and urinary ailments and related female conditions. It also promotes Helmbold's Improved Rosewash for facial skin issues and announces depots in New York and Philadelphia with a warning to beware of counterfeits.
The Register lists yearly prices and advance payment terms, notices of discontinuance, and assorted advertising rates including quarter, half, and full columns. It specifies penalties for arrears, local-column double pricing, and job-work payment on delivery.
A fable about a thief who tricks a king into a fake gold tree using a holy hand and a council of officials, ending with a pardon for the clever culprit. A New Haven tale follows a prank on Dr. Jones with a talking tube and a boy’s butter making method.
The Baltimore Saturday Night surveys a new Navy prayer book by Rev. Newman for Polaris crews. It mocks a “Prayer at the North Pole” wishing to bless liberty education and religion in a region inhospitable to life, noting the impracticality of insuring polar bears.
A humorous dated piece warning women to stay ladylike and pursue marriage, with playful misdelivered spellings and staged maxims. It warns against education, independence, or any ambition beyond domestic roles, urging modesty, obedience, and appearance while lampooning pretenses.
Step by step methods include pouring near boiling water into ant burrows and hills, trapping ants with sticky sweet sheets, placing fresh bones to lure them, pouring coal oil into holes, and burying onion slices to drive them away.
A humorous 19th century view on boils explaining how they start small, grow, and humor others. It notes social reactions, supposed health benefits, and the odd belief that boils purify the blood, calm nerves, and improve temper. Mentions famed names and a parade of remedies including Shoemaker's, Mrs Winslow's Syrup, Spalding's Glue, and others.
A long-winded moral of a so called coming girl outlines practical skills and virtue she should possess, from cooking and sewing to spelling and English literacy, plus health, honesty, and independent living. It contrasts with fanciful Paris fashions and prescribes duty as life’s aim. Also a wartime style quip on crying and Eskimo beliefs closes the piece.
A moral meditation on honesty in family life by Harriet Martineau. It warns that suspicion destroys peace and trust, urges parents to support and protect a suspected child, and extols truthfulness as a public and private blessing for the home and community.
A German party of five hussars quartered at a wealthy Tours area farmer’s home. One hussar fires at a white figure, which reveals the host in a sheet with a bloody knife. Nightly killings follow as other hussars are found slain, their throats cut. The killer is a Frenchman, concealed among cabbages in the cellar.
In a Washington vicinity anecdote from Mrs Randolph's Domestic Life of Jefferson a servant reports a bleeding ax wound to the calf and Jefferson sutures it noting limb anatomy while a physician protests his patient loss. A partisan friend cheers Jefferson on July Fourth as John Adams dies the same day he quips it was a mean Yankee trick. New Yorkers imitate European naming fashions but Harlem on the Spuyten-Duyvil is awkward.
A New York clergyman recently spoke of a woman hating the pearl drops of affection hanging and glistening on her cheeks. He meant to say that she cried.
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