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Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Aug 09, 1889
Page
3
An eyewitness account describes a visit to a Fort Smith guardhouse where the condemned Pete receives mixed remarks from the hangman and guards. The exchange reveals resignation, grim humor, and the pressure of awaiting execution. Other passages recount a drowning rescue by a horseman and a humorous line from a Hoosier river scene.
An 18th century tale recounts the humiliating scene of a prisoner in the parish stocks under Lord Camden. A skeptic host and bystanders witness the brutal discomfort, while a later court case features a lawyer who learns the true agony from the prisoner’s testimony.
An Indiana man on a steamer traveling the Ohio River with a mare and an eight week old colt was tipped into the river by a sudden boat careen. He surfaced exhausted but alive, the mare and colt also thrown overboard in the mishap.
An eccentric tale from the day recounts Sam Welles arriving from Paris to settle debts with New York creditors. Maunte Co. offers thirty cents on the dollar in cash, and Welles accepts, dining with the debtor afterward. The narrator hints the scene spawned aristocratic youth, profiting from ruin rather than selling goods, a sharp social jab on money and status.
A fragmentaryJosh Billings style meditation critiques egoism envy and friendship while praising honesty and self awareness. The piece contrasts wisdom with vanity, notes the old age struggle to act with dignity, and ends with a reference to Near York.
The piece explains that finders have title against all except the true owner and relays a Royal verdict from ten years earlier. A wallet found on shop premises was returned to the owner who did not claim it for three years, yet the finder later demanded it. The court held the finder’s title valid against the world except the owner. It ends with a quip about widowers and babies, comparing crying and awareness across two six month periods.
A Connecticut town rumor tells of a balloon ascent with a professor inviting crowds to join. A 20 year old farmer steps up, but his father voices doubts and jokes about money and risks. The dialogue shows village caution, humor, and fear of dawn exposure, with plans to stay home and misplace funds.
A brief street scene shows a clerk and customer disputing a bill. The man asserts the note is counterfeit, seeking change. The clerk agrees to handle the matter, while the shopper pockets cigars and leaves. The exchange hints at a broader issue of counterfeit currency in daily commerce.
A garbled miscellany of social chatter and snippets: Omaha spouses discuss dresses at a reception, naval belt strength measures from Mullich, a lamp with a prompt response, a Prohibition paper in Iowa, a Springfield girl praising the Golden Rule, warnings about conversation at the wheel, and a quip about eavesdroppers.
A paralyzed veteran, injured during the march to Washington after Lee’s surrender, faced a recordless claim. His sweetheart’s letters, found upstairs, described the sunstroke and march, providing proof. The letter saved his pension after years of effort, demonstrating the case’s authenticity.
An odd mix describes the origin of a long-standing tune We Won’t Go Home and notes excursions by many railroads. It mentions a speech at the Moisie Partners Association and lists August and October trips to Tennessee Alabama Mississippi and Louisiana with low first class round trip fares via J J Morreth and Wil Finn Till, traveling agents in Chicago.
A frail vendor at the ventral market poured kerosene from a pint can into a lamp after waiting a short time. He then sat with a colorless man at a table, ate a piece of melon, and claimed he was obliged yet unwilling to share copy from a nearby vendor.
A drummer demands a three inch larger uniform for a parade and theatrical use while a different note touts Micetvic Soup as genuine with no imitation. A separate line reports Mr. W. A. Disxos notes pressure from wind at seventeen miles per hour equals one psi.
Mme Phy cite, widow of 50, sued optician M Tanner over a glass eye costing 100 francs after a dog bite left her eye socket empty. She claimed no use for a glass eye and refused to pay. The Justice of the Peace ordered payment. she smashed the eye in fury as the crowd laughed. New Orleans?
A garbled trade item extols a medicine named Dro Tierce's Favorite Prescription claiming it regulates health and prevents happiness loss. The text includes disjointed dialogue about a traveler and a recent membrane transplant to the upper eyelid yielding good results, all in a jumbled vintage ad style.
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