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This newspaper page contains 11 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
New Harmony Register
Location
New Harmony, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Aug 03, 1883
Page
2
A mother recalls a mischievous boy who fills the home with tracks and playthings. She describes his growing up, hunger, and battles with a neighbor’s son, then imagines the day he leaves for manhood and another hands data. The poem ends with the certainty that a boy in the house signals a mother’s enduring bond and future loss.
A survey of America’s top humorists praises Robert J. Burdette, Bill Nye, George W. Peck, Opie P. Read, and many others. It lauds their wit, pathos, and moral tone, notes their wide influence, and highlights Texas Siftings, Arkansas Traveler, and Georgia Major as leading humorous presses shaping public sentiment.
A humorous tale shows Jones improvising a home made water filter from a barrel filled with charcoal and gravel. Mrs. Jones spills slop into the barrel, mistaking it for the intended device. The next morning Jones serves Mississippi filtered water to breakfast, prompting Mrs. Jones to scold him and call him a fool. He vows to buy a proper filter once the water works are completed.
A Washington boardinghouse keeper asked President Andrew Jackson for help collecting a long unpaid bill. He advised taking the note to the bank and inscribing his name for endorsement. The clerk later paid once he learned the indorser was Jackson, a quiet reveal that led to settlement.
In a comic scene, Mr. Spoopendyke plots a grand feast for guest Specklewottle on wash day. His schemes collapse as frayed finances, stale meat, and oddball dishes clash with expectations, leaving the guest waiting and the couple scrambling for a solution.
A passage recounts Lord Byron at age ten on the Isle of Man avoiding the softer sex, Mary the Manx girl, and a scene with his aunt. It also tells of Benedict Arnold as a boy refusing to betray companions, choosing fidelity over a gold reward, hailed by a New York World notice.
A collage of humorous vignettes and quips from a late 19th or early 20th century column. Includes puns about liquor, marriage and politics, anecdotes of a California death by inches, a whale of wordplay about donkeys and don’t throw away good whisky, plus a Negro camp meeting song and fragments of social humor.
Story recalls Miss Martha Campbell in North Carolina who hanged herself from a forty foot tree with a bungled knot and drowned after falling into water. Out West a man attempted four methods to die by his own hand including a noose, poison, and a pistol jump, but a misfire caused him to fall into salt water and survive, fined $40 under the Anti death by own action act.
California correspondence notes orange groves invite little strolling due to constant cultivation needs. It describes soil, irrigation channels, and basins to water trees, likening a grove walk to a potato field. It adds insight on women jockeys from farming families and mentions Charles Kingsley’s Lorraine Loree featuring such a heroine.
A Boston Budget tip explains varnish use to refresh chairs tables and surfaces. Apply a thin coat after dusting on a sunny day to hide scratches and marred spots. Rub with a flannel and a touch of linseed oil, avoiding oily residues, then allow to dry before stepping on finished pieces. Coach varnish can revitalize old oilcloths and extend their life with spring treatments.
An Austin lawyer questions a woman seeking divorce about grounds. She boasts ill treatment at home and hints at a past suitor, claiming she could have married another man if not for marriage. The tale contrasts divorce motives with other beliefs.
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