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This newspaper page contains 26 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Myrtle Point Enterprise
Location
Myrtle Point, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Jan 29, 1909
Page
2
The Myrtle Point Enterprise notes oddities from Oregon including a cinnamon bear in season, a witty hat remark, and a Southern professor's jab at Mark Twain. It teases a public question on ex-candidates for the presidency and mentions metals aging, a New York police court ladies affair, and a joke about fines dropping to 9.99.
A satirical note suggests magazine publishers search for a new use for ex presidents. A separate sensational line claims a woman plunged three stories into a policeman’s arms, reflecting tabloid melodrama. A quick witted cook is hailed for a shortcut of sorts in handling headlines.
The remark notes the unflagging energy of British suffragists and anticipates their influence extending to fashion by predicting discussions of fall styles among supporters in coming years.
A banker proclaims British Columbia never felt better while the region reportedly enjoys clearer air and improving conditions in the Rocky Mountains, hinting at favorable climate signals.
Postal authorities state registered letters must be delivered to the addressee. The rule offers no protection for husbands who leave letters in pockets of old coats or clothing.
A Kansas school teacher used court plaster to mute a boy by covering his mouth. The remark suggests a broader jab that it would take much plaster to silence politicians.
Hundreds of thousands of men are out of work in England yet London papers find no proof linking Emperor William II of Germany to the unemployment.
Rockefeller says he was a frequent borrower in his early years and is asked whether he would encourage young men who seek his guidance to become skilled borrowers. He emphasizes learning prudence and disciplined borrowing rather than reckless debt.
The article protests Chicago street railway policies that prevent women from getting off cars backwards. It argues this restriction infringes a long acknowledged right of women and calls for a protest from all thinking women.
A remark in the article notes two baldheaded men in asylums for the insane, suggesting the claim is largely true with rare exceptions. The piece hints at how anti baldhead sentiment might fuel debate and early reflection.
The president of the first International Congress on moral education in London lauded American educational thought and practice. He noted the world’s debt to U S schools for teaching morals along with history and arithmetic and welcomed the recognition.
The Verona house cited by guides as Juliet's parents home and Romeo's wooing site burned recently. Though marked with a tablet, scholars doubt the tale. the building dated to the period, but now disappeared leaving travelers to view the reputed Juliet grave at the Franciscan monastery.
W S Rossiter, census expert, argues in Atlantic Monthly that U S population growth is slowing. He notes annual increases were 31 percent from 1870 to 1880, 24 percent from 1880 to 1890, with the trend indicating lower future gains and revised 1950 projections.
From that date to 1900 twenty one per cent. In view of this steady decrease in the rate, Mr. Rossiter estimates that the population in 1950 will not be over one hundred and thirty millions, and after that date will tend to become stationary.
A moral tale compares picking ground apples to climbing for sound fruit. The ground fruit holds worms and bruises, spoiling quickly, while climbing yields sound apples and true achievement without luck. The message urges effort over easy gains in life.
Leslie's Weekly rebukes the idea that fortune comes from being slick and dishonest. It argues true success—moral, intellectual, or economic—stems from honest effort and integrity, while even well-meaning prompts can mislead the ambitious toward material gain.
A biographical sketch portrays Matthew H. Carpenter of Wisconsin, entered the Senate in 1869, as an autodidact who mastered subjects before speaking. It notes his fluency, jury skills, and law study, his West Point cadet days, a furlough, and eventual total blindness yet steadfast pursuit of legal principles.
Evelyn questions the engagement ring cost as a joke about proverbs and ignorance. The exchange features Ethel and Evelyn debating the price and Fred as the ring giver within a light courtroom-library setting.
Pinkerton agency record shows 89 bank burglaries nationwide in the year to Aug 31 1908 with total loot about 129 004 49 dollars. Largest loss 23000 at Farmers and Manufacturers Bank Rock Hill Missouri. hold ups added 25027 45 in loot. Major thefts scattered in Mississippi Valley and western states.
A collage of light dialogue and wry observations from various papers. Notices include landlady threats, jokes about force Niagara, and comic mix ups in everyday scenes from Brooklyn Life New York Sun and Philadelphia Inquirer.
A detective notes that big city robberies are rare now while most crimes target small towns. Banks in New York, Philadelphia, and Chicago hold far more cash today, yet the western and midwestern states show the highest burglary rates, with Minnesota leading in 12 cases.
Mrs. C. L. Orrick takes over her late husband’s business and runs one of the city’s largest blacksmith carriage and wagon shops. The Denver Post notes her success and leadership in the trade.
In a blunt reply during a heated district clash in Illinois, Speaker Cannon's allies faced removals from public offices. When questioned about efforts to respond, he answered that in a political battle, some will fall.
An exchange in a London Graphic item shows Omiasion magistrate questioning Loggs about theft. Loggs quips that previous admonitions covered lemons not oranges, provoking a humorous legal exchange.
London Tit Bits reports a patient with insomnia being treated by a doctor. The exchange notes the patient is alert and knowledgeable about stocks, reflecting a humorous contrast.
Brief haunting note of a performer who vowed not to sing old songs yet sang the new ones, with a sharp line about their quality. The remark contrasts a terse pledge with a later, unsolicited performance featuring a Boston Traveler mention.
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