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Newspaper
Myrtle Point Enterprise
Location
Myrtle Point, Oregon, United States of America
Date
Apr 08, 1910
Page
3
A collage of vintage quotes and captions from newspapers. Humorous lines from Chicago Tribune Consolation and Cleveland Plain Dealer plates mix with witticisms about sailors and mustaches and a jokey exchange at a family table.
A writer notes that gypsies first appeared in Western Europe not in 1417 but in 41, while Montaigne’s 1580 Swiss visit inspired astonishment at the abundance of spoons at every meal. The piece blends social satire about sidewalk cleanliness with archival remarks on travelers and cultural observations.
Fred C. Witten of Newark claims Cascarets cleared his pimples and blackheads after years of failed remedies. He notes feeling fine upon waking and urges friends to try the product. The ad invites readers to mail their address to Sterling Remedy Company for a free Gold Bon Bon souvenir.
A dialogue fragment shows Towne claiming his wife can dress on comparatively little money. A Catholic Standard and Times writer asks what “comparatively little” means, while a companion challenges the notion. The passage also cites Mrs Winslow’s Soothing Syrup as a teething remedy for children.
A fair young matron asks to cash a check at a bank teller window. The teller reminds her she must indorse it with a signature on the back. She writes on the back Your loving wife Faith, explaining her husband sent the check and is away on business.
A teacher questions students about the fourth estate while a pupil mentions pirate and quarter section of land, indicating a mix of civic and land terms in a classroom exchange.
A brief Tribune quip quotes a professor asking if each matter particle is a universe, and an answer suggests belief rests on human credulity. The exchange showcases a playful debate on cosmology and perception.
In a chat with Bessie, Bob says golf provides real benefit guiding his temper. He notes improved stroke control and calmness, contrasting with six months ago when he would swear like a trooper.
A fragmentary item notes a single bromide quip about Bromo Quin ine as a cold remedy. The text shifts to a dramatic exchange with Gabriel and a voice identifying as G Bernard Shaw, protesting the playing of The Star Spangled Banner. The source reads like a mock news snippet from the Chicago Tribune.
A humorous exchange questions how many lodges and councils a husband belongs to. Mrs Wilfong answers four lodges and two councils with a quip about attendance and staying later at lodge meetings. The brief dialogue contrasts lodge and council participation.
A historical ad touts Dr Martel's Female Pills as a long standing standard for women's ailments. The copy claims quick and permanent results and notes availability at area stores. An unrelated Washington Star quote about arctic explorers appears in the text.
A literary editor and the author spar over a manuscript the editor deems among the worst in the world. The exchange highlights the tension between authorial ambition and editorial curation.
A brief exchange reveals Algy’s year-long devotion met with a cold response as she hints the door of hope may close. A solitary moment follows his next visit, set against a Chicago backdrop.
The text lists many dessert and savory recipes and kitchen tips: Ginger Cake, Casserole of Beef, White Cake, Oyster Pie, Chocolate Sauce, Cold Meat Leaf, White Chocolate Ice Cream, Baked Bananas, Orange Ice, Layer Cake, plus hints on cranberries grapes jellies pie aromas and utensil care. It preserves period cooking terms and measurements with instructional steps and serving ideas.
He recounts a sea captain who lost everything in a wreck off the coast of Switzerland. She questions as he insists on his straightforward story of the disaster and its aftermath.
Alexander defeats and captures Porus after victory. Porus asks to be treated like a king. Alexander agrees and considers Porus valuable, remarking he might use him as a figure of authority or a regal example.
A humorous exchange has a reporter pressing a senator on who bears the cost of a full wartime footing. The senator replies that the burden falls between American posterity and that of distant powers, then offers a lighter suggestion with imported cigars.
Foot powder claims to cure painful swollen smarting and sweating feet and ease new shoes. Distributed by Druggists and Shoe Stores. warns against substitutes. Sample request directs to A S Olmsted Le Roy New York.
A Cleveland Leader line features Mr Jawback quarreling with Mrs Jawback over brains. She retorts he must have gotten his brains from her and adds that somebody got his brains if he ever had any. The exchange is presented as a sharp family barb.
An advertisement asserts Paz0 Ointment cures all piles including blind, bleeding, or protruding types in 6 to 14 days with a money back guarantee. The copy adds a stray quotation about comets and consolation, suggesting a damaged, incoherent insert.
A note markets Pettit's Eye-Salve as a tonic for eye strain and weak watery eyes. Distributed by the Buffalo druggist Howard Bros. in New York.
A Washington Star quote laments growing lawlessness with sarcasm about planes and gravity, noting progress yet disdain for revived statutes and police rules. The brief exchange features Mr Sirius Barker voicing gloom while others see advancement.
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