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Newspaper
Muscatine Journal
Location
Muscatine, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Feb 29, 1908
Page
11
The Muscatine Journal notes March winds at play on a February afternoon. Citizens report roughhouse gusts rolling hats and turning parasols, delivering dust and a loud, comic parade through town as residents wish for gentler May winds.
A jumble of quotes mocks would be candidates like Bryan Taft Foraker Hughes Parker Lawson Ryan Belmont and others. The piece satirizes the political field with snippets about who might run who could win and who would be best for the country.
A Dog encounters a ner vous Wolf in the woods after misnaming animals from Buffalo to Elephant then Giraffe and Fox. The Wolf threatens the Dog claiming responsibility for the panic. The tale ends with the moral that the doer of the panic must be held responsible.
In a department store tale, a hopeful suitor combats a frigid father by bringing two kerosene stoves to a Friday visit. The stoves melt icicles, warmth rises, and the old man ultimately invites the couple to join the family. The wrap ends with a wink about future plans and a moral about not being frozen out.
A humorous tale narrated by Joe Kerr about a New York heiress with fifteen million dollars who travels abroad with her mother to marry a Hungarian count. The mother seeks a title for social advancement, ignoring love in favor of money and status. The count, though debt ridden, agrees for the American fortune, and a new title is created.
A Pittsburg man recalls a New York City visit to a broker peddling a Western mine. He pursued a hot deal promising huge dividends but the panic faded the venture. He later learns the broker smokes three-for-fives and the deal collapses without a Montana map marking the lost hole.
A humorous exchange shows a customer asking for a huge coal quantity. The dealer clarifies sizes while the customer, distracted, asks for a two thousand pound ton if convenient.
A light verse reflects on fools multiplying during a warm spell. The piece observes weather too warm to skate danger signs and too cold to rock the boat, underscoring cautious humor about seasonal changes.
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