Realities and unrealities of life quoted in humor
A Nebraska State Journal quip contrasts life’s realities with semantic rheumatism and domestic quarrels with a hired girl as the most painful experience they ever had.
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This newspaper page contains 14 articles. Subscribers can read the full text of each article.
Newspaper
Moulton Eagle
Location
Moulton, Texas, United States of America
Date
Mar 03, 1905
Page
4
A Nebraska State Journal quip contrasts life’s realities with semantic rheumatism and domestic quarrels with a hired girl as the most painful experience they ever had.
Some grocers refuse Defiance Starch 18 oz due to 12 oz stock and fear of resell to customers who bought the larger size. Politicians criticize liberty as misused in public discourse.
Readable text notes a three and a half mile lightning conductor from Lugspite weather station in Bavaria to a lake. The fragmentary OCR mentions medical ointments PAZO for piles and Mrs Winslow soothing syrup for teething, plus unrelated lines about Adam and emblems of peace and war.
A clerical man in a trolley car praises a well mannered young man who declines liquor and smoking. The man asks for the motive, and the youth explains he cannot dissipate while dealing a fare at the gaming table. Collier's.
New Hampshire Governor N J Bachelder objects to hanging game for weeks claiming venison should be fresh and sweet. He recalls a New York restaurant joke where a diner insists a three week old steak is fine as venison, highlighting common taste for immediacy over traditional aging.
An elderly couple on a small north Ireland station journey boards a train with curiosity and anxiety. While crossing a long bridge the old woman fears for safety but calms as the train returns to solid ground, whispering a relieved exclamation about the ground being struck again.
A poem listing celestial personae and famed figures. Mentions Nordica Brunhilde Empress star Walker Homer Melbalo Fremstad Venus star of song and Alfred Bryan as a luminous cast linked to starlight and harmonies.
A Russian timber dealer reports a vast oak deposit in a southern Russian river region, spanning about 150 square miles with logs 40 to 200 feet long and 15 to 20 inches in diameter. The ore yields at least 150000 logs averaging 70 feet, showing at least twelve color shades from variegated river bottom soil. Meanwhile in New York, Delaware County’s Helen Gould funds Roxbury’s church library and park as gifts from Miss Gould, enhancing the town’s summer home landscape.
A health ad touts Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for nervous exhaustion during menopause with a Chicago testimonial. The second part argues for the Southern Pacific merger bill, praising consolidation to unify rail lines, extend routes to Cuero, and boost efficiency and state tax values, while noting opposition limited to local interests in Victoria.
Poem excerpt about summer in the heart and nature imagery contrasts with seasonal frost. Brief line about Hunt's Lightning Oil sale to Frank Swartz of Gal medicine. Then a listed European life expectancy table cites Norway, Sweden, England, Belgium, and others with ages ranging from thirty-two to fifty.
Advertises Defiance Starch as more flexible and lasting than competing brands offering one third more value for the same money.
A collected page quotes Arthur Burritt about humanity lifting through sympathy, then records a Thurso family of eighty seven in stone quarry work. It recalls a racehorse fox scene from London Chronicle and praises Defiance Starch while noting measles and marching tunes in 19th century tone.
A letter from 1897 recounts Dr Hartman's treatment with Peruna and Manalin curing chronic constipation and catarrh in elderly patients. John O Atkinson, Elke and Alla Schwandt share long histories of relief and gratitude after using Peruna. Hartman invites inquiries for medical advice.
African epicures consider the tongue of a young giraffe a great delicacy. The meat of the animal is said to taste somewhat like veal.
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