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Newspaper
Moulton Eagle
Location
Moulton, Texas, United States of America
Date
Aug 09, 1912
Page
2
A collection of satirical quips and curiosities from The Moulton Eagle noting reckless aviators, marriage disputes, political upheavals, fashion trends, and oddball tech rumors. Highlights include a wedding flight joke, head on plane crashes, a rolling Austrian counts, and a joke census on haircuts.
A New York zoo plays phonographs for animals, a practice criticized for harming defenseless creatures. Critics say loud sounds stress animals and hurt their welfare, while supporters claim enrichment and habituation benefits.
A New York justice states that bedbugs in a residence can justify breaking a lease. The opinion also cites one or two biblical commandments as supporting context.
A quirky line suggests whenever a physician denounces evil, it hints at experiments with a girl who eats onions. The remark blends humor and curiosities about medical rhetoric and eccentricities.
A physician argues it is impossible to catch a cold. The remark leaves readers unsure as to whether he is stating fact or trying to fool someone.
A western couple formed a pact where the wife earns the income and the husband handles housework. The piece notes that many men today are taking on both roles and shares the evolving domestic dynamic.
A scientist notes the average man holds 3965 cubic feet of gas, a figure he says applies to the average man not to politicians. The remark underscores a contrast between common folk and public figures.
A remark notes the Washington baseball team attracting greater notice than the White House, highlighting the sport’s rising profile beyond political circles.
A passenger on a streetcar resents a fellow rider reading their newspaper over the shoulder and remains peeved despite cordial company and broth erly affection referenced in the remark.
In a brisk survey, the piece notes men chase speed against time and fate, but eternity outpaces all. It asserts contestants share one endless race where time loses to the infinite.
A Chicago resident predicting population growth notes Chicago may overtake New York by 1937 and whimsically suggests annexing Canada could be part of the plan. The humorous forecast reflects city boosters and statistical fads of the era.
A report describes a secluded Mexican mountain group with a striking trait a vocabulary limited to about 300 words. The piece hints at the social and political implications of such a speech constraint in a remote community.
A deserted wife finds her husband after seventeen years, discovering him now a wealthy and respected piano dealer. The harmony of their past dissolves upon their reunion as secrets unfold.
A New Jersey youth fled the state to Europe to avoid paying a five dollar fine he deemed unjust. The note hints at others preferring protest trips abroad but acknowledges the financial burden of such actions.
Thirteen Italian sailors aboard the Genee say pirates in small boats boarded their vessel during a May voyage from Inagua to Marseilles. The Genee fought back, was forced into boats without water, then rescued by the Allemania near Inagua. A British cutter pursued the pirates as U S authorities consider action.
A three cornered fight near Lakeside Park involves a mad bull, a boy named Raymond Barnes, and his father. The boy was gored several times before the father, using a club, subdued the bull and rescued his son who is in serious condition.
Cape Charles Virginia bride Mrs Lilliston and her former sweetheart Mr Andrew Crothers aged sixty five and sixty seven wed aboard the New York express while en route to New York for their honeymoon. They had been sweethearts in Adamston Vermont forty years earlier when a quarrel separated them and Crothers became a westward mine prospector amassing a fortune. He learned she had never married and visited his hometown to propose and marry.
Edith K. Clotts of Philadelphia sues Frank I. Groman of a South Bethlehem family for $30000 claiming breach of promise to marry. Groman was to wed January 6 1912 but did not appear. Claimed losses include 29000 for marriage and mental suffering 500 for loss of position and 500 for wedding trousseau.
Mrs. W. P. Bheesley of Jersey Shore rural route No 2 keeps her ducklings confined until honey bees finish work. The theory suggests ducklings eat too much and are lost yearly to bee stings, with bees retaliating as the ducklings perish.
London reports Prof. A. B. Macallum, Royal Society fellow, hints at laboratory creation of humans by chemical means. He contrasts old views of living matter with a science advancing toward understanding cell composition and function, urging micro chemistry study to locate cellular constituents affecting activity.
Humprey Dodd, a cautious man, chooses between two village girls and, after meeting Daphne during a storm, offers marriage. He reveals his plan to Aunt Betsey, takes Daphne to stay with the kindly aunt, and asks her to marry him. Daphne accepts, sensing a trustworthy future with him.
Burglars used strains from a phonograph to cover the noise of entering a Minneapolis home. Loot valued at nearly $100 was taken from the residence of P. H. Ware while the family was being entertained by the machine.
Eight-year-old James Gallagher became stuck when a rusty tenpenny nail pierced his palm while sliding on an inclined board in Cedar Grove lane. A farmer freed him by sawing the plank, then transport moved him to Frankford hospital after initial aid at a Friends asylum failed.
A Fargo cat again attracts attention by nursing eight newborn rabbits after dogs raided a local rabbit coop. The tabby has adopted the kits and is caring for both her kittens and the rabbits, surprising residents on Second Avenue South.
The Transvaal gold output for 1911 is valued at 170 million dollars, up from 30 million the prior year, and amounts to about 38 percent of world production. The 1911 dividend paid from this output totaled 37,779,067 dollars, reflecting continued gains in South African mines.
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