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Newspaper
Mooresville Times
Location
Mooresville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
May 08, 1908
Page
2
The Mooresville Times features quips about an odorless onion allegedly invented by a California Chinaman and other satirical lines. It jokes on headlines such as Why American Mothers Fail and Paderewski's wife paying for chickens, while noting an Ohio scientist dying in Guatemala studying flora.
A professor warns that skimping funds could backfire as meat vendors pledge to guard the public from risk. The notion of national pride surfaces with talk that the King of Italy might adopt the phrase our American cousin, altering possessive language in diplomacy.
A Louisiana congressman read an original eight stanza poem in the House the other day and escaped unharmed as other members evacuated first amid the incident.
Mme Goulu declares she has all the matrimony she desires and should recall that better brands exist than the ones she tried.
A Longport widower wed his housekeeper to keep her in the family, a plan he thought novel though it may have been misguided, reflecting a mistaken sense of striking novelty.
The Oklahoma Legislature enacted a law prohibiting eavesdropping on telephone conversations. The note frames this as a loss of a longstanding blessing for the people.
Suppressed excitement in agricultural circles grows from two starting facts. Long Island farmers organize a potato trust while a California Chinese inventor produces an odorless onion.
A sardonic note questions a gun rumored to fire two million bullets per hour. The speaker asks what would remain after that first hour, implying futility of such excessive power.
A Pennsylvania boy who recently recovered from typhoid fever now pursues poetry with zeal. The article notes after-effects of the disease can be more troubling than the illness itself, including a mania for writing verses.
Night views of the Mauretania evoke a mental image of a vast liner like a city adrift at sea, with readers recalling how large communities voyage together across the ocean aboard this grand vessel.
Chancellor Von Buelow says Germany does not seek to deny England sea mastery. The London Times views the remark as a shrewd effort to lure England into costly naval buildup, risking land weaknesses.
The New York World notes the growing unknown dead and larger potter's field burials each year. It recalls Washington Square once served as a potter's field and suggests a modern cemetery layout would still be needed for one year of interments.
The Oil City Derrick notes that nature is turning natural gas into gasoline in the local oil field. Cold conditions condense gas from wells with oil, freezing it in pipes, hindering production. Only 22 of 530 Rockland township wells were unaffected this month.
The hammer, likely the earliest tool, began as a stone tied to a handle by thongs and served as both tool and weapon. Early hammers resembled modern forms but lacked nail claws. Whether hammer or nail came first, the hammer clearly predates the nail.
Reports from Indiana detail a fatal hurricane injury near Spencer to John Scott. Other items warn Dearborn County tobacco growers not to plant this year. Farmer L. Cheesman near Noblesville lies near death from blood poisoning after a horned catfish bite. John Budtka near North Judson shoots himself amid threats tied to his wife’s death. A missing Oolitic man, Joseph Rapshaw, is found murdered in a quarry, erasing earlier suicide theories. A Detroit to Indianapolis electric line may soon connect, with Indiana traction officials pursuing takeover of the Toledo and Indiana Railway to complete the route.
Frances Foxworthy Cooper, 18, wife of Stephen Cooper, was found guilty of manslaughter in Columbus. She was sentenced to two to fourteen years in Indianapolis Women's Prison after a 25 minute jury deliberation.
A planned corporation worth about half a million dollars will buy inside business and residence property in Alexandria where options exist at current market value. This move aims to raise a factory fund of $100,000 to $200,000 for locating new plants in the city.
W. W. Wilcoxen of Wynneville and Dr. W. E. Barnum of Manilla intend to buy a large land tract in Fayette county Indiana to establish one of the state’s largest ranches. Wilcoxen, a sawmill owner, will relocate the mill to the county and clear the land of timber.
A report by Harry Wade grand keeper of records shows Indiana Knights of Pythias in a flourishing condition with 488 active lodges and 62 024 members as of December 31 1907. The lodges hold 2 882 819 41 dollars in total on hand.
Police in Indianapolis were called to stop thefts at the State House as thieves worked on the third floor over several weeks. In one noon theft, hinges from large doors, faucets from hydrants, and nickel plated copper railing from third floor toilets were taken, with property valued at about 15 to 20 dollars.
Landlord Miller of the Johnston Hotel in Logansport has altered the name to Johnson Hotel by removing a space and changing the spelling to reflect 13 letters in the first name. He notes traveling salesmen refused stays due to the perceived superstition.
In Calumet township the temperance forces filed a remonstrance against alcohol traffic, led by a majority of 57 voters. If sustained by the County Commissioners it would close 180 saloons in Gary Tolleston and nearby areas, Gary known as the Still City. The move was organized discreetly before saloonkeepers realized.
Two year old Inez Smith daughter of Mr and Mrs George W Smith perished in a house fire two miles north of Unionville after refusing to leave thinking her siblings were playing. Her parents reported all other children escaped unharmed. The blaze rapidly engulfed the residence causing fatal burns to the infant.
State Bank Examiner Camp orders Malone and Sons private bank in Cayuga closed after finding a $35,000 shortage. The examiner completed an investigation of the books.
A letter to Dr. J. N. Hurty from Rome City druggist W. A. Williams reports massive carp deaths in Noble County lakes, especially the West Lakes near Rome City. The stench is described as awful and farmers fear wells and water supplies may be contaminated. Williams estimates at least twenty tons of fish afloat and urges immediate investigation.
Purdue University President Winthrop Ellsworth Stone reports his wife has withdrawn from society to pursue a mystic Yoga teaching imported from India. The Stone family is distressed, unable to contact her, amid rumors she joined a Kabakon colony in the South Seas. The board voted to retain Stone after his resignation note.
Freeman Moss of Evansville reports discovering a remarkable new insect named the Merry Widow. He describes the bug as the queer est seen in the state with immense wings and protrusions on the tops of its head.
Hartford City temperance forces won a county wide dry victory with wins in every ward and in Montpelier, placing Blackford County and its four townships in the dry list.
The article notes both plaited and plain models are in style this season. It highlights skirts made from thin serge linen Panama or khaki cloth.
A fashion note from the Fashion Editor at 400 Century Building Indianapolis presents multiple skirt designs with sizes ranging from 7 to 36 and 13 to 17 years. Patterns include seven and ten gored flares, bias trimming, and button closures suitable for flannel linen duck or washable fabrics. Regular sales pitch for Paris Pattern No and pattern size requests.
The Brooklyn Eagle notes that U S grain corners are largely a thing of the past as crops outgrow the tactic. It recounts 1867 to 1898 episodes where corners spiked prices briefly, then collapsed, leaving some producers advantaged while others failed.
A policeman tells Mr Goulderbilt his machine ran at forty miles an hour. Mr Goulderbilt replies with stoic duty and sends John to accompany the officer for the fine.
A brief Washington Star satire notes Meander ing Mike asking what a millionaire would do and Plodding Pete replying he would buy a golf outfit and walk for pleasure rather than necessity. The exchange emphasizes leisure versus need in a light newspaper quip.
A Cleveland Plain Dealer excerpt notes that the women in a local card club no longer discuss the difficulty of finding servants, reflecting a shift in social chatter and concerns.
A Sunday school lesson outlines Jesus farewell discourse from John chapters 14 and 16. It explains the Comforter promised by the Father, his role to guide into truth, reprove sin, and reveal future things, and notes the expediency of Jesus departure for the Spirit to come.
The text outlines a sermon structure on the Lord's Supper, heavenly home, and Vine and Branches. It then details the Comforter promised by Jesus, the Spirit's works as reprover guide comforter teacher reminder revealer, and reviews the Spirit’s role in convicting sinners guiding apostles and comforting Christians until the end.
A benevolent old man asks a mother if there are more children at home after her son, a chocolate cream smeared cherub, shares a moment with him. She assures him the child is their only one and he responds with a spirited “Thank heaven” in a warm Chicago Tribune tone.
A guidance on alum stating it prevents blood loss when applied to wounds and provides relief for toothache when boiled in milk. It must be held in the mouth rather than swallowed. A cold water wash with dissolved alum helps bleeding of the mouth or tongue.
A brief humor item notes Mrs. Jones asks Mrs. Brown why her husband acts oddly, joking he is training for a prize fight, but she replies he is simply getting in form to beat the carpets.
A playful exchange centers on a man blaming a horse for misdeeds while Eve retorts that his nature would have found a scapegoat even if the horse hadn’t been involved. The New York Sun quote captures gendered blame in a light, old-timey tone.
A testimonial extols Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as a remedy for female illnesses. Mrs Bertha Muff recounts years of ailment and multiple doctors before following Pinkham's advice and regaining health, urging other women to seek help.
The Pittsburg Post quotes a father reacting to a young woman’s physical culture claim. He jokes that if the rod at one end had straw on the other end she would be sweeping, prompting laughter over pseudo scientific exercise advice.
Moralist warns of overconfidence in outcomes while a jokey counterpart suggests a safer choice. The Detroit Tribune frames the quip as a light exchange reflecting caution in daily life.
Stirrups were unknown to the ancients and first appeared in the fifth century Our era but did not become common until later centuries, with limited use persisting into the twelfth century.
In Toledo Ohio Frank J Cheney and Co certify they will pay one hundred dollars for any case of catarrh not cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Notarized December 6 1886 Seab A W Gleason Notary. Cure taken internally and affects blood and mucous surfaces. Send for testimonials. Sold by druggists. Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
Old books show brown spots caused by bacteria that feed on starches, with fungus and moisture accelerating damage. The tiny destroyer thrives where humidity is high, making storage conditions crucial for preservation.
A humorous brief noting a child named Bessie asking why a parent does not act as nurse while the father is asked to kiss the mother, reflecting playful domestic exchanges in a local column.
Ad copy notes good housekeepers favor Red Cross Ball Blue for laundry with a 5 cent price at leading grocers.
A brief dialogue from Harper's Weekly portrays two brokers, first noting Carter’s slipping health and second recounting that Carter asked for a dollar before leaving. The exchange captures a light satirical moment about trust and finance in a busy market.
The report notes that ninety six percent of coal is produced north of the equator, highlighting a strong geographic concentration of coal mining activity in the northern hemisphere.
An 19th century style ad touts Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup for children teething. It claims pain relief and reduced inflammation, noting the product is sold in bottles priced at 25 scents.
In the darkest night fishes pursue their usual movements the same as by daylight indicating persistent patterns in aquatic behavior. The sentence notes the creatures' continued activity and routine regardless of light levels.
A short reflection contrasts growing stature with true character. It notes that fault finding yields little else and that eternal religion should guide everyday conduct, not just grand moments. Christ is framed as steady amid life’s bitter and sweet.
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