Quippy Gossip in The Mooresville Times
A collection of humorous vignettes including a Gotham masher dating a boxer, a Tacoma bootblack retiring wealthy to become a gentleman, and a lawyer named Sex tossing ink that injures a bystander.
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Newspaper
Mooresville Times
Location
Mooresville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 31, 1908
Page
2
A collection of humorous vignettes including a Gotham masher dating a boxer, a Tacoma bootblack retiring wealthy to become a gentleman, and a lawyer named Sex tossing ink that injures a bystander.
Despite prejudice against the twenty dollar gold piece the public will not refuse it when presented. The coin’s acceptance persists as merchants and individuals handle transactions without apparent hostility.
An abstract musing notes the link between cognitive lines and the human form, asking why more women do not mirror the interrogation point as a symbol of inquiry and reflection.
An Australian physician asserts sour milk is the sole true elixir of life. He notes it suits people with a liking for its qualities and its purported health benefits.
Author warns that a crowbar baring the front door signals escalation to battering rams in robberies. The piece argues homeowners feel robbed when forced entry begins with a crowbar, implying threat of greater household invasion.
A South Norwalk man comes home from the civil war amid suspicions by his wife that he paused somewhere along his route.
An invention introduces a vehicle capable of operating on land or water. The inventor notes the need remains for an automobile that can operate in midair, highlighting future design goals beyond amphibious capability.
The New York Sun recounts a burglary case where a thief was shot through the door, an effective method that literally let daylight through him.
London planners project a population of 16 million by 1960 as England considers expanding its territory and resources to support a growing urban area.
Sixty eight ministers have preached trial sermons in a Butler Pa pulpit and all have been rejected. What that congregation needs is certainly not nerve.
An Atlantic City man went to jail rather than kiss his wife, a punishment deemed unnecessary if the spouse belonged to another man, highlighting a curious marital dispute.
The speaker, G Bernard Shaw, sarcastically labels the public as villagers and notes many are unaware of Miagracefus being a villager.
An American girl named Miss Mary Money has applied for a jockey license in France. If money truly makes the mare go, she may soon ride in French races.
A prominent Chicago debating society member named Twaddle is well known among members who are likely accustomed to his influence and remarks.
The judge proposes couples study maritime law to guide duties after marriage yet notes it cannot resolve who lights the morning fire six months after tying the knot.
The writer asks if the bird on the new ten dollar gold piece resembles a turkey and argues the turkey would be a fitting national symbol if not for its folly. The piece weighs symbolism and public perception of national icons.
The monarch chose a nurse as the first recipient of the Order of Merit, a move seen as a distinct rebuke to the rank of the "lady novelist." The question remains whether Miss Corelli will stay silent.
The city proposes a sensational theory that the nation harbors more temptations to vice than New York itself. The idea echoes an old minstrel notion of small forces shaping larger behavior, with whimsical references to beetles and bees.
Notable fragment argues that vast religious reserves do not guarantee daily kindness and that zeal for large audiences often masks neglect of individuals. The passage critiques surface enthusiasm over genuine care and small acts of mercy.
In a grand plaza a scaffold rises as five cannons boom, tribes gather to crown Noecbetha emperor. Dona Concha remains calm while a captive marks the sacrifice, and tension builds as the ceremony proceeds under watchful eyes.
A dramatic tale follows Nocobotha’s rise to power among the Auca and the brutal downfall as rival leaders and white troops massacre the Indians. Dona Concha grapples with betrayal and remorse as Don Sylvio and Pedrito crush resistance.
A toastmaster attempts to introduce a famed writer and speaker. Amid a coughing fit he whisperingly confirms the guest’s name as Howard Verne de Vrees, and the speaker is announced as Horace Verdigris to address the gathering.
A brief adage noting that success grants reputation for wisdom, reflecting a common philosophy about achievement and judgment. The line emphasizes perceived wisdom tied to successful outcomes.
In Washington, Rep McGavin of Chicago denounces American heiresses seeking foreign nobles. He jokes about tax plans on dowries, wonders about tariff treatment for dukes and counts, and notes the lure of European royalty for Wall Street wealth. The talk satirically links monocled suitors to national trade concerns.
Des Moines report recounts Elizabeth Sohm editor of the Storm Lake Vidette proposing marriage to secure a male assistant after a county printing bid denial. Rival editor G A Craig replies he can fight and swear for two offices if she will mend his socks. Vidette awaits next edition.
Henry Clews proposes a swap of Theodore Roosevelt with William Howard Taft to resolve issues of former presidents. Clews suggests Taft become Roosevelt's Secretary of War or Navy, or Secretary of State, or premier, to predict an overwhelming Taft victory.
Seattle special reports the largest caribou herd yet seen in Alaska is crossing the Yukon River to escape freezing Arctic conditions. The herd has moved about 100 days and over 100000 animals are now entering the mountains of the lower Yukon territory seeking warmer ground.
King Alfonso III narrowly escaped a fatal boar charge during a Madrid hunt. A wild boar charged the party after the king fired, prompting a second shot from a huntsman that killed the animal. The king was unharmed.
A Portland Maine special fire burned for nearly ten hours, endangering the business district and causing damage estimated over 900000. Firefighters, aided by outside cities, finally confined the blaze to the original block.
In Frankfort Indiana Special Coroner G W Brown returns a verdict that Mrs Samuel Dukes died by her own action, shot through the heart a week after she was found dead with a billet through the heart.
An organized movement against prohibition is forming nationwide with brewers and dealers in supplies and machinery behind it. In New York the Manufacturers and Dealers' Club of Greater New York is coordinating efforts including circulars to firms in the financial district to widen membership.
The Madison Square Garden murder trial moves toward verdict as the prosecution, led by District Attorney Jerome, avoids scientific insanity testimony. Defense counsel Martin W. Littleton argues the state has not disproved insanity, urging the jury to consider the burden of proof and instructing them to doubt Thaw’s sanity if reasonable.
The loss of a large diamond hair ornament valued near $10,000 has caused a stir in Chicago’s top social circles. Mrs. W. W. Kimball owned the piece and reported it missing after returning home from a Sunday night reception hosted by Mrs. Marshall Field.
In 1907 the First division police of New York City arrested 149,494 people an increase of 8,202 from 1906. Of those, 126,627 were male and 22,867 were female.
The New York World cites Moffat and Western mining leaders as financiers of Bryan in 1896 and 1900. The St Louis Post-Dispatch accuses silver men led by Marcus Daly of funding over 90 percent of the Democratic committee in 1896. Both papers frame the issue as corporate influence and call for campaign finance reform.
Chicago reports Prof W B Elkins proposes a community of interest with a village doctor and lawyer free services, shared dining, rail fares at 40 cents a mile, no more servants or day laborers, and overall healthier wiser people. He foresees new social order and a peaceful twentieth century.
The article rebuts Henry Reuterdahl by asserting U S warships are not inferior and relies on government documents and established facts. It argues gun elevations armor belts and torpedo capabilities, concludes the navy ranks second to none in general efficiency.
Reverend L Moore Smith pastor of Scotch Plains Baptist Church resigns after church members oppose his breeding dogs. The Plainfield special report notes a portion of the congregation objected to the practice.
In Anderson Indiana the jury found Shirley Doyle guilty of attempting to commit murder in the second degree after less than an hour's deliberation. The crime occurred on March 19, 1905, when Doyle, then on parole, cut the throat of 19 year old Lida Scott during a buggy ride.
Reports from St. Petersburg and Helsingfors claim the Emperor ordered the partition of Finland and the Viborg district annexed to Russia. An army corps would be sent to the Grand Duchy to quell potential protests.
In Worcester Massachusetts special coin authorities report J B Hamilton of Springfield unearthed an ancient Roman coin while digging for earthworms for a fishing trip. The piece is dated at least 2157 years old and valued at about 1500 dollars.
A young English employee at a large life insurance firm reportedly trampled an American flag in company offices. The Star-Spangled Banner Association formally demands the man be discharged over the incident, stirring patriotic outcry in New York Special.
New Haven light tender Nils Nielson cut his throat in a Lighthouse on the breakwater after prior suicide attempts thwarted by assistants. Renowned for lifesaving rescues in Long Island Sound he earned a Congressional medal two years earlier. investigators cite lonely, unbalanced mind as possible cause.
Baltimore suffered its largest blaze since 1904 as three firemen died and ten were injured including George Horton chief of the department. Damage is estimated between 400000 and 600000 dollars.
In New York the bootblack privilege in the new twin McAdoo Terminal Buildings on Cortlandt street has been leased for twelve years at a total rental of 124000 dollars. The annual rate comes to 10833 dollars and 33 1 3 cents.
Oklahoma town named after Warren Sayre of Wabash. Evansville man Christian Epple scalded to death by a bursting steampipe at Blount Plow Works. Connersville gains a daily paper with Courier Newspaper Company led by G. H. Hamilton. Vermillion County residents form an interurban line group Clinton to DanvilleIllinois. Gas City merchants form Commercial Club. Wayne County Republicans bar candidate treatment and vehicle access to polls.
Noblesville blacksmith James Wood has patented a mail catcher for trains that can pick up and deposit mail at stations not on the train route. The device is reported as successful and ready for use.
The Indiana Democratic Club will host a Bryan banquet at the Claypool Hotel in Indianapolis on February 17 with W. J. Bryan in attendance. Accommodations are planned for 700 guests.
Samuel E. and James M. Twigg who sold the Pennville Record to Walter E. Grant have purchased the New Era plant at Cicero and will revive the publication.
Ruth Wakelan, a young English girl now residing in Boston, Massachusetts, has located her aged father in Anderson after an extensive search spanning nearly fifteen years. The reunion marks a long awaited family reconciliation.
James Merriweather of Ft. Wayne served as chief clerk for the Grand Rapids and Indiana. He died in a cottage fire at Rome City during a routine winter trip that became a summer stay.
John Millikan the oldest Odd Fellow in Indiana and a lifelong publisher dies at Crownpoint aged ninety four after sixty one years as a Laporte lodge member.
George Smith of Evansville was fined $25 and costs in Police Court for tossing snuff in local theaters to make women and children sneeze.
A group of about 100 men women and children looted 15 tons of coal from a South Bend railroad yard using baskets and sacks. Police intervened and routed the crowd.
Fire nearly wiped King's Station south of Princeton burning for miles. Estimated loss reaches 75000 dollars with partial insurance coverage.
About 25 Indiana city mayors gathered in Indianapolis and a majority voiced they were not in hearty sympathy with the law forbidding reelection.
A group of men seeks to advance the Frankfort to Delphi Traction Company campaign aiming for early completion of the line with a view to extending to Chicago later. Leaders believe the project will spur regional growth and connect major cities.
Marion county records show 625 divorces granted in 1907, up from 583 the prior year. Cruel treatment was the most frequent complaint in petitions.
The Laporte Fish and Game Association announced the acquisition of 3000 acres for a new game preserve in northern Indiana. Officials expect to add thousands more, aiming for a 5000 acre preserve and one of the state’s largest.
A six month old died after swallowing a detached doll arm while playing with two siblings in Orwell. Chris Baur reported the limb came off the toy and the child suffered greatly before passing away hours later.
Randolph County Grand Jury indicts Ira Porter of New Pittsburg for murder in the first degree over the death of his wife from a shotgun discharge. Porter claimed the gun went off accidentally as she handed it to him.
Mrs. John Black a 63 year old widow despondent after her husband died suddenly of apoplexy drowned herself in the farm watering tank near Wabash.
John Hessler of Kokomo continues to live after seven months consuming six soft boiled eggs each day. He defies experts who claimed no person could sustain a single diet for so long despite intermittent sinking spells from lung trouble.
The Reflector, formerly a weekly publication produced by inmates at the Indiana Reformatory, has been changed to a daily publication.
A fragment from a past romance recalls a blond flirtation last summer. The speaker asks what happened to her and notes she plans to marry this spring, describing a Cornell widow and the shifted mood of their exchanges.
Mr Redd notes the Greene couple driving a new car while Mrs Redd compares it to theirs. The exchange hints at a humorous, everyday local moment captured in Yonkers Statesman style.
Fassett A. Cotton, state superintendent, submitted to Governor Hanly, shows Indiana schools cost about $12,000,000 annually in 1907. The state employed 16,841 teachers and 149 new schoolhouses were erected during the year.
In Terre Haute President Clark urged the 11,000 members of the Retail Merchants Association of Indiana to enter politics and elect legislators aligned with merchants. He called for united opposition to parcels post and postal savings bank proposals.
A well on William Thomas's farm near Logansport emits roaring, earthlike sounds at various times day and night. Local residents avoid the area, especially after dark, finding the phenomena mysterious and unnerving. No cause is known.
Albert Teeple, aged 45, collapsed on his mother’s farm near Walkerton after a fist blow from his brother in law Joseph Ballenger. Ballenger, 30, was arrested but released by the coroner after an autopsy showed heart failure. Teeple’s heart was found to be one third larger than normal.
State Fish and Game Commissioner Z T Sweeney sent twenty partridges to State Senator Clamor Pelzer for distribution in southern Indiana to trusted farmers. Warrick county earned $500 last season from hunting licenses, with one third used to replace game killed. The German breed partridge resembles the prairie chicken and landowners are to avoid hunting on their property while caring for the birds. The birds serve as insect destroyers and are valuable to farmers as a conservation measure.
William E. Blakely, Indiana state factory inspector, announced a general inspection of all Indiana theaters after completing the inspection of Indian annlis. He said 150 to 200 theaters exist in the state and small-city theaters deserve stricter scrutiny. He cited the Boyertown theater disaster to warn that even small venues can pose fatal fire dangers.
Logansport ice maker Charles Worken built a large cement basin and, using a thermometer based process, gradually froze water to 14 inches thick overnight. He stored the solid ice in an expanding ice house and expects to meet summer demand from his artificial pond.
Southern Indiana growers celebrate cold weather as spring-like warmth slows budding. Buds on fruit trees swell while strawberry vines show early blossoms, raising concern among farmers about premature flowering in one of the nation’s largest berry regions.
The Charity Organization has opened an employment bureau in Elwood's city building and is contacting large cities for labor needs. There are 2,000 idle men in Elwood seeking work.
A playful exchange features Pretty Teacher and Johnny as he asks about a kiss. He offers to demonstrate if she wants to learn, suggesting a lighthearted moment between the two.
A New York Sun report notes the man avoids muggings by sidestepping Bertillon system procedures and police zeal as the Dark Chamber intrigue unfolds.
A fragment shows a prisoner telling the magistrate that two policemen were drunk when they brought him in, highlighting a dispute or dispute in a courtroom setting.
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