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Newspaper
Mooresville Times
Location
Mooresville, Indiana, United States of America
Date
Jan 03, 1908
Page
3
A humorous exchange aboard a steamship en route to New Orleans ends with a clever punch line. An old lady asks a passenger how far the nearest land is and is told to look straight down, revealing the ship is only two miles from shore.
Levi P. Brockway of Anoka Minnesota says doctors discharged him as incurable after five months in a hospital. He describes heart trouble fainting spells and kidney issues and credits Dean’s Kidney Pills with restoring his health. He reports feeling well since using them and notes the product is sold by dealers for 0 cents a bar.
A fragment quotes Powell and Rowell debating fire awareness in Harper's Weekly. The dialogue hints at neglect or ignorance of a fire by Rowell and suggests a potential hazard unnoticed for a long time.
He and Mrs. Hopper hosted a reception described as old-fashioned with refreshments that were actually good to eat. The exchange highlights the event's nostalgic tone and informal charm.
Mrs. Eliza A. Wiley reports eleven years of hand eczema with cracked bleeding skin and a nail loss ended by Cuticura Soap Ointment and Resolvent Pills. After trying three doctors and many remedies she credits Cuticura for cure and urges others to use the products.
An extensive traveler recalls a remark about heat near the equator and jokes about natives cooling hens to prevent boiling eggs. The notice promotes Mrs. Austin's Famous Pancakes as a hearty wholesome breakfast now available at local grocers.
Guarantee promises to cure itching bleeding or protruding piles in six to fourteen days or money back. Product claims rapid relief and refund offer. Public notice style medical ad language notes efficacy and price.
In a theater scene a performer named Hi Tradgerdy shouts I am mad while a voice from the gallery retorts that the audience members who paid to enter are the truly mad ones. The Catholic Standard and Times records the exchange.
A vintage ad notes Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup for teething babies. It claims gum softening anti inflammatory properties and pain relief for wind colic, priced at 25 cents per bottle.
In Philadelphia Press style, Mrs Nupop worries a worse issue after a night of colic. She notes the baby slept three hours without stirring, prompting maternal concern and a tense update on the child’s condition.
A witty remark from Meggendorfer Blatter features a professor lamenting chronic forgetfulness about a handkerchief and joking about tying a knot in his own. The quip highlights light hearted, humorous sentiment from the period drawing.
A historical report describes knockout drops as tools for thieves and conmen. It details morphine and chloral hydrate risks, methods of administration, and how victims include gamblers, city visitors, and young women. It notes druggists sometimes refuse sales and that cases often resemble drunken incidents.
A Century essay recalls a Confederate veteran who admitted regret at the failure to form a separate nation. The narrator shares how another general dismissed that honesty as characteristic of a lifelong failure, noting such candor would be increasingly rare with time.
In a playful exchange, Green offers a donkey for sale while Brown notes a recent purchase and hints at needing another. The banter continues as Green emphasizes usefulness of a good donkey for anyone in need.
A neighbor teases a dispute with Mrs. Clancy who insists she faced no trouble while recalling a past disagreement with her husband. The Chicago Post notes the quip that “’Twas Clancy had all th’ trouble.”
An essay on how wives suppress emotions and adjust in marriage to maintain harmony. The piece argues that concealment of personal feelings regarding husbands, in‑laws, and children helps preserve unity, with lasting happiness tied to self‑effacement and measured resistance, rather than open conflict.
A stout Englishwoman says American climate suits boys better than Britain as her Yorkshire born sons lag behind Massachusetts and Ohio born brothers in brains. Her husband notes American boys show more cheek while English lads looked up to their father, making him feel sidelined by youthful national pride.
A brief exchange jokes that opportunity comes when one is away and playfully contrasts optimism and pessimism. The Philadelphia Press quotes a witty back and forth about doors and chances.
A young artist asks if his debut work is tolerable. Whistler responds with a witty retort about a tolerable egg, drawing a humorous parallel to the painting. The scene captures a quiet exchange between the artist and the renowned critic in front of the canvas.
In a quip on progress a speaker notes wireless telegraphy and smokeless powder, while Mrs Fidgety jokes that men don’t push to invent a smokeless cigar. The humorous exchange reflects period tech optimism and wit.
A New York Press note argues that a fighter who studies anatomy could speed to world champion status by targeting the temple or lower jaw. It explains how blows to these areas disrupt muscle connections and sever the link between jaw and temple, illustrated by watching chewing.
An old advertisement offers one hundred dollars for catarrh cures by Hall's Catarrh Cure J Cheney & Co Toledo Ohio. It includes endorsements from Walden Kinnan Marvin Wholesale Druggists and notes internal action and testimonials. Also promotes Hall's Family Pills for constipation and states price per bottle.
A Glasgow News humor piece notes children wonder if fairy tales always begin with Once upon a time. Mama responds that stories sometimes start with I have been detained at the office again tonight highlighting busy grownups.
A Detroit Free Press sermon notes that financial troubles may depress giving. The speaker urges brethren not to overlook the plate despite a tight money market.
An old print advert touts BFIMO QUININE as a universal laxative and cold cure. It claims W. Grove signature, world coverage, and a 25 cent price for a one day remedy.
Honest praise from Harper's Bazar notes one day with a cook who baked enough items for a week. The ad claims Mrs. Austins pancakes are the best and easy to try, ideal for a wholesome breakfast.
A playful rant asks how many wives a man may have in the prayer book noting four better four worse four richer four poorer total sixteen. It then quips that Adam and Eve after Eden raised Cain in response to expulsion.
Dr. Evans a witty Melbourne Parliament figure faced playful jibes about Queen Anne. He answered that he knew her, declaring the scholar is contemporary with all time.
The Circassians, living in the Caucasus, favor plunder over industry and train their daughters to be sold as slaves to the Turks and Persians. Thus Circassian beauties shine in harems of the Orient rather than in their homeland.
A wife teases her husband about staying up at a literary club. He recalls reciting lines about chips that pass in the night, in a wry Baltimore American style sketch.
A magistrate questions a woman involved in a scuffle about her age. The woman deflects, saying she is five years younger than the other woman who had her pinched. The exchange continues as authorities seek the ages of the involved parties.
A star objects to scenery ads calling it too commercial while the manager defends them as realism. The exchange underscores tension between artistic integrity and commercial display in theater.
A brief newspaper item notes a contrast between charitable giving and a bank receiver case, referencing Becker and the New York Sun. The cannonical phrase about giving and receiving is contrasted with a banking context mention.
The tale has Daniel meeting lions at the den door and whispering titles to each as they near. He predicts prompts like "The Ladies, Bless Them" and "The Newspapers, Damn EH'm" followed by "The King" or "United Israel" before they refuse to eat, puzzled by the toast list.
A playful exchange between a nurse and Bobbie on a newborn baby brother. Bobbie asks to see the baby while the nurse describes an angel bringing the child, prompting Bobbie to opt to see the angel instead.
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