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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Nov 29, 1900
Page
6
A New York World snippet shows a teacher testing an applicant named Johnnie with questions on vaccination, inoculation for croup, cholera, and whooping cough. The exchange covers personal hygiene, sponges, pencils, and weekly fumigation with sulphur and lime, culminating in admission to class.
A brisk item notes a solemn young man across the way and asks if he is an undertaker. The reply clarifies he is a grocery clerk who has undertaken to support a wife on six dollars a week.
A garbled fragment notes an imperial decree abolishing a former statue tied to the Trans Siberian railroad era. It then shifts abruptly to marketing Hostetter's Stomach Bitters claiming relief from dyspepsia and related ailments.
While Millais painted Chill October by the Tay reeds a man spoke in broad Scotch asking if he had tried photography. Millais replied no and slowly continued painting as the stranger argued photography is quicker and similar to the scene. The dialogue ends with the Scotchman’s quip and a lingering note.
For the present winter season the Louisville and Nashville Railroad Company improved its already near perfect through service of Pullman Vestibuled Sleeping Cars and elegant day coaches from Cincinnati Louisville St Louis and Chicago to Mobile New Orleans and the Gulf Coast Thom asville Pensacola Jacksonville Tampa Palm Beach and other Florida points. Connections made with steamer lines for Cuba Porto Rico Nassau West Indian and Central American ports. Tourist and Home Seekers excursion tickets on sale at low rates. Write C L Stone General Passenger Agent Louisville Ky for particulars.
A brief quip from a Detroit press snippet notes one man being told he resembles a 30 cent piece after an improvement. The remark contrasts with a previous look described as resembling a nickel.
One hundred dollar reward offered for an incurable case of catarrh by Hall's Catarrh Cure. Endorsers from Toledo firms attest to F. J. Cheney's honesty. Cure is taken internally and marketed with testimonials and other products.
A Cincinnati Enquirer note touts Grain-O as a new grain based drink to replace coffee. It claims suitability for children and adults, a rich brown color similar to Mocha or Java, and easy digestion. Packages cost 15c and 25c at grocers.
A collage of customer blurbs praises products and advertising pitches. The excerpts claim Piso's Cure is the best medicine for throat and lung issues and reference endorsements from the Atchison Globe and Chicago Daily News.
Westport New York woman says thirteen years of headaches ended after using Dr. Greene's Nervura remedy. She asserts bones in her skull reformed within a year and credits cures to the medicine. Doctors reportedly offered no relief and a local justice vouched for her. Dr. Greene offers consultations at 35 West 14th Street New York City.
A playful verse recalls a little wave longing to be rainbow and finally catching seven colors as sun and wind push it to shine. The message urges readers to recall beauty during heavy or dull work and keep striving with hope.
A boy recalls a 19th century Ohio barnyard encounter with a large gobbler and explains why turkeys, not geese, embody Thanksgiving. He contrasts Turkey in Asia and Europe with the American fowl and notes the gobbler’s loud “gobble” as he hides in a corncrib.
A toy darts game outlines making a circular board with ten hooks numbered one to ten, using rubber rings as hooks. Players throw rings from ten feet to score points on the board with bullseye at No 10, aiming to exactly reach 100 points. Quiet play, no wings or damage, suitable for boys and girls.
A London girl Louise and her mother saved Choppie a half starved kitten on a foggy night. The cat traveled with Louise through Italy Switzerland and the British Isles crossing the Atlantic to New York and Florida winters. Choppie stayed tucked in a traveling basket quietly with meals, enjoys piano melodies, and became a cherished companion, per the New York Tribune.
A California farmer’s pony named San Jose, beloved by three children, intercepted a rattlesnake while the kids nutting. The pony leaped, stomped, and hooved the coil, fatally wounding the serpent and returning to grazing as the children watched in awe.
The International Monthly contrasts California and New England farming. It argues that drought gives Californians more leisure and freedom from neighbors while allowing easy fruit crops and plentiful horses. Californians can plan reading or hunting with predictable weather and a relaxed hospitality.
A Chicago Post excerpt shows a rich man proposing marriage with a life insurance condition. The heroine faces a terrible predicament if insurers would deem him too risky to insure, threatening the engagement. The dialogue underscores a morally charged financial twist in romance.
At a seaside town a young woman earned a reputation as a profound linguist by locating a misplaced shirt waist entry in a Chinese laundry ledger. She navigated crossed out lines and tiny characters to identify the item, impressing three companions and the laundryman who admitted the feat.
A vintage advertisement touts Cascarets Candy Cathartic as a cure for a range of ailments by promoting natural bowel movements. It emphasizes the product’s genuine metal box packaging and the C O C stamp while warning readers to beware of imitations.
The Indianapolis Journal quotes skeptical readers arguing that massage cannot cure baldness and recounts anecdotes of men who pursued massage in hopes of regrowth, labeling such claims as nonsense.
The Chicago Milwaukee St Paul Railway issues a census booklet listing populations of all US cities over 25000 from the census of 1000. Copies available by sending address and a two cent stamp to the General Passenger Agent in Chicago. The Atchison Globe advises sympathy without debating sides.
An old advert proclaims Kemp’s Balsam will stop a cough at once and offers free sample bottles. It urges readers to visit their druggist for large 25 and 50 seat bottles and warns delays are dangerous.
An advertisement touts Dodd’s Kidney Pills as a guaranteed cure for back aches and chronic pain. It claims science supports the remedy and cites testimonials of patients previously told they had no hope. Also mentions railroad excursion sleepers and a quip about an engineer whistling at danger.
A collage of 19th century health and product blurbs cites Lane's Family Medicine promising daily bowela relief and liver and kidney support. It includes Luxative Bromo Quinine Tablets with money-back guarantee, fashion musings from Somerville Journal, and various cures and antidotes for colds, headaches, and toothache.
Mrs. F. Jynch of 824 South Division street Grand Rapids Michigan writes about the Poruna Medicine Company of Columbus Ohio.
A mythic harsh description of catarrh notes its spread and effects on all ages and organs. The piece touts Peruna as a universal cure, claiming medical endorsement and free guidance from The Peruna Medicine Co. of Columbus Ohio.
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