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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Nov 17, 1881
Page
2
Jonny Blancward is listed as editor and proprietor of the Monticello Express in Monticello. The notice repeats the masthead and city, confirming the newspaper’s leadership.
A nostalgic scene of a family celebrating Thanksgiving with cold air outside and bright warmth inside Fortig. Children glow with joy while elders reminisce. a mother admires her tall son and a daughter sings. The table brims with meat and bread as relatives read aloud and thank the Lord.
Sam Whipple and Dick Spangler plot to steal the deacon’s famed turkey but betray each other. After a night of mischief and a dog alarm, the pair return to find the fowl safe, and the deacon announces a grateful tale of narrowly avoiding a dinner loss at the feast.
A brief tale recounts Sam and Dick plotting a turkey theft behind a wood house. A hidden shutter and whispered words reveal the culprit, with later hints the deacon may know more. Neither Sam nor Dick return to Month Turnee, who soon marries another man.
A Niagara region yarn recounts Greenwood and the Lehman men nearly swept over the falls. Greenwood uses a rope and improvised anchor to hold their boat, pleading and praying through the night until dawn. Rescued by townspeople next morning. Greenwood vows not to cross above Niagara Falls again.
Compiled figures cover sound speeds in various media, farm fence outlays in 1822 across eleven Southern states totaling 13 565 746 dollars, buffalo bone trade along the Texas and Pacific line, Great Britain’s share of global trade, steam tonnage, and per capita productivities. Bangor Maine anchors lumber trade with 200 million feet logged and 110 million shipped. wage levels and transport shortages noted.
A collage of quips and jokes from American papers. It riffs on fragmentation of trains and print vanity, then moves through wry lines about bravery, language, and a morbid undertone about an undertaker. Included are amusements from Chicago Journal Norristown Herald and Brooklyn Eagle.
A satirical letter urges a young man to avoid political ambition and high office. It mocks ex secretaries of the Treasury and laments fame, urging voting and civic involvement while advising against running for President. The piece ends with a grim humorous image of building a wall of bricks for mischief.
Henry Stewart an elderly colored man died at his brother William Stewart's South Street residence after years of alcohol problems linked to life insurance applications. Report says two men gave him whisky last spring and he drank a pint that night. Insurance on his life is estimated between twenty thousand and one hundred thousand dollars and may be contested. He was over eighty.
A late 19th century Telegraph column offers practical kitchen guidance including making white eye muffins and German style potato salad, cleaning painted surfaces with whiting, silk quality tests, and detailed apple butter preparation with cider reduction. It also notes horse white feet and pest control by late plowing, plus general household advice.
A cautious home language program shapes children from infancy. Parents should guard speech, model correct grammar, and avoid slang to prevent bad habits. Reading and storytelling reinforce memory and attention, while daily narration of experiences builds descriptive speech and confident conversation.
The piece recalls Lord Cornwallis at sixty seven famed as a hardy officer who mocked a servant for offering an umbrella on a rainy day. It notes Nastig’s $40,000 investment in a silver mine found to be a mere quarry and imagines a full page engraving of him peering into the hole. It closes with a quip about partridges on heads.
A jumble of advertisements and anecdotes extols St Jacobs Oil Dr Pierce remedies and other patent medicines. Letters claim cures for rheumatism fevers and consumption with testimonial chorus. Quips, petty jokes and product pitches fill the page alongside a livestock menagerie notice and miscellaneous infomercial blurbs.
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