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Newspaper
Monticello Express
Location
Monticello, Iowa, United States of America
Date
Nov 16, 1905
Page
3
A collection of child vignettes and quips illustrating early moral lessons. Humorous exchanges cover souls and eyeing needles to deception days and idle theory. A schoolroom scene ends with a child naming the baby as the idleness culprit.
A selection of curious claims and jokes from a historical clipping touching on tight shoes causing baldness yen doom about eye prosthetics kangaroos leaping ship lifespans and peculiar beliefs about animals foods and weather.
A Texas family thanks Postum Food Coffee for aiding a nursing mother and infant recovery, relieving bilious habits, and aiding constipation. The testimonial notes family-wide preference, from a two year old to the household head, with claims of improved health and vitality.
Prof. William C. Dyer of Madison School preserves an extraordinary field corn specimen from Webster Missouri. The ninety day yellow variety produced two suckers from the parent stalk, each becoming a full stalk with a perfect ear. One stalk bore four ears. the tallest stalk reached over five feet. The plant remained healthy as it ripened, and the farmer who cultivated the field, an old North Carolina man, has studied corn extensively.
The article urges farmers to plan well in advance of each crop and seed purchases. Early orders allow germination tests and avoid delays, with clover sowing also needing timely planning. It compares farm planning to city business and weaving, stressing disciplined foresight and bookkeeping for success.
An Iowa Homestead item notes Missouri farmer crops fine corn he cannot harvest. Advice given on sowing rye, reducing cultivated land, drawing clear boundaries, and using straw piles and slatted boxes for potatoes. Encourages outdoor work in sun and saving tasks for a rainy day.
The piece endorses national highway aid, led by Congressman Brownlow and the Brownlow-Latimer Dill plan. It cites Agriculture Department figures showing farmers lose about 600 million dollars annually to bad roads and argues a three year, 24 million dollar federal distribution would spur macadam road building, cutting costs and boosting agriculture.
A writer in an eastern contemporary suggests a drain guard for woodchucks and muskrats. Drill three-eighths inch holes in a two by four oak piece, drive 18 inch iron rods into the soil at the drain mouth, spacing by tile size, to bar entry. Oak pins may substitute for iron but require more frequent repair.
A Farmers' Voice tip outlines building a ground level cold frame with thick boards and a muslin cover to shelter lettuce spinach parsley and pansy seeds. It advises sowing onions around Christmas and using matting tarpaulin or straw for extra frost protection during bitter weather.
Select well colored fair sized fruit and reject wormy or bruised apples. Use a tight barrel of large size, lay apples in, shake occasionally, then press to fit under hooped head. Store on north side, cover to keep rain off, leave until freezing weather, move to cool cellar, then head up as used. Keeps Baldwins Greenings till May 1 and Pippins Russet till June 15.
In St. Petersburg a firm note warns Poland against autonomy moves, pledging to treat revolt as rebellion. In Warsaw martial law across ten Polish governments sparks panic, with anti-Jewish rumors, barricaded Jewish homes, and rising distress from strikes, coal and food shortages.
Coroner Scarborough concludes Stuart L. Pierson was tied or bound to a railroad track and run over by an engine during a Delta Kappa Epsilon initiation at night October 28. Evidence destroyed after body left the county prevents naming suspects. findings submitted to Knox County prosecutor for grand jury action in Mount Vernon.
Edward G. Cunliffe express clerk who stole 101000 from Adams Express in Pittsburg on October 9 was sentenced by Judge James R. Macfarlane to two terms of three years each plus fines and costs. He also faces two charges of larceny with $6000 still missing.
A mob of about 200 broke into the Henderson Texas jail just after midnight and hanged John Reece, Robert Askew, and a third unnamed Black man in the public square. The trio had been arrested with two others for a farmer’s murder ten miles away. the other arrestees were unmolested as accomplices, not principals.
Ohio returns indicate Republican victories across most state tickets with the governor race unsettled. Chairman Dick reports lieutenant governor leading by about 27 600, state treasurer around 39 000, while other Republican nominees win by substantial margins.
Mexico City reports sustained heat into November attracting meteorologist attention linked to a large sun spot. Earthquakes are reported across the country with some shocks severe. In Texas, dressed turkeys are shipped by carloads from Waco to California and the northwest with prices up to 11 to 12 cents per pound.
A Cincinnati tale contrasts James F. Day and a young applicant. The financier probes with feigned warmth as the youth flatters, then the older man tests a stance. The test exposes the young man’s oily politeness and Day’s blunt honesty.
Catherine Devine of Sacramento Kentucky credits Dodd's Kidney Pills with curing years of rheumatism pain. She describes severe leg and foot trouble, unable to put feet to the ground at times, and says after using the product for a trial, pains eased from the first and her health improved significantly.
A witty exchange between Algernon and Gertrude highlights a sharp reproach over a marriage proposal as Chicago Daily News notes the humor and social restraint in the dialogue.
Advertisements tout Cuticura Remedies as cures for infantile and birth humors eczema and related skin conditions. The copy links relief to parents, claims permanent cures when other remedies fail and references various light ad lines about travel and other products interleaved with quotes and notes from period sources.
An advert claims Dr Williams Pink Pills for Pale People cure rheumatism permanently. It cites Mr I S Wagar of Watertown New York who reports relief after four boxes and notes his wife and daughter benefited from the remedy for other ailments. The ad promotes safety and six boxes for $2.50 from Schenectady NY.
The piece lists trades and their reputed fortunes with a humorous take on social standing. Shoemakers, bakers, butchers, hatters, hucksters, carriage makers, hairdressers, newspaper men and electricians are described as thriving or ahead, while revenge costs more than bearing wrongs.
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